Well, That Title Is Just Mean: DOCTOR WHO Special “The Next Doctor” Airs on BBC America Tonight

We may still be mourning David Tennant’s choice to move on from Doctor Who, but that’s not going to stop us from enjoying tonight’s US debut of last December’s Christmas special. Well, actually, it might–“The Next Doctor”‘s big climax is so ludicrous it’s hard not to feel a little cranky that we lose 20 percent of the short time we have left with the Tenth Doctor on it.

Still, Tennant has so much chemistry with guest star David Morrissey (previously seen with Tennant in Blackpool and with recent Master John Simm in the original BBC State of Play) that it’s hard not to be a little in love with this Victorian steampunk fantasia. The Doctor, traveling alone after the tragedy of losing Donna Noble, stumbles over a hero who insists he is…the Doctor. Since we know Morrissey isn’t actually the next doctor, who is he? The answer is a bit touching, and a certain sepia-toned moment is very touching. If that info stamp doesn’t get to you, I have some old-school Who DVDs to recommend. Ring in the holiday in style–TARDIS style, as you have to turn back the clock a bit–tonight on BBC America (who generally do a better job in terms of not cutting the episodes to ribbons) at 9pm Eastern. Tennant pops up on Graham Norton immediately after. The odds of a peculiar suit are high.

In Lieu of Raises or Benefits: New BETTER OFF TED Tonight

I’ve moaned and whined and complained about ABC’s programming choices this year–DAIIIIIISIEEEEES!–but I have to give credit where credit it due: they brought back low-rated-but-brilliant comedy Better Off Ted. Although Ted’s boss at multinational polyfabricator congolmorate Veridian Dynamics would likely claim that giving credit where credit is due is what got this country into a financial crisis in the first place.

Better Off Ted is like that–a pointed look at corporate politics and life that manages to be both spot on and slightly askew at the same time. We’d like to liberate lab slaves Lem and Phil from a company so horrible it tries to weaponize pumpkins and grow cowless beef, but then who would we have to laugh at? In these troubled financial times, most of us would either walk over our grandmothers to work for a company as soul-free as Veridian Dynamics or are grateful we already do. All the more reason to laugh at our corporate overlords behind their backs, and luckily, Ted has lots of laughs to spare. NEW episodes starting tonight on ABC at 9:30 Eastern and Pacific.

Squee! It’s…

Oh, squee and a half–it’s Mary McDonnell on The Closer tonight (and for at least a few episodes beyond)! You may recall Ms. McDonnell from her Emmy-winning–OR IT HAD BETTER BE–role as President Laura Roslin on Battlestar Galactica, in which she rocked the airlock hard. She also recently appeared as a surgeon with Asperger’s Disorder on Grey’s Anatomy. She had a multi-ep arc on both ER and E/R, as well as roles on Touched by an Angel and High Society. And that’s not even counting her Oscar-nominated turns in Dances with Wolves and Passion Fish. I’d have loved her forever even without Roslin, just for being Donnie Darko’s mom. Now she’ll take on Chief Johnson as a hard-nosed Internal Affairs investigator. Put ’em out the airlock, Captain Raydor! Tonight on TNT at 9pm Eastern and Pacific.

New NINJA WARRIOR on G4 Tonight

Very few things can bring a smile to my face like Ninja Warrior, the insane obstable course show known in Japan as Sasuke. G4 is showing the most recent competition, new to the US, this afternoon as part of a weekend-long Ninja Warrior marathon. I’m not ashamed to say I stayed up too late last night because I saw they were showing Sasuke 17, and I just had to see fisherman Makoto Nagano become only the second athlete in the 21 attempts we’ve seen so far to conquer all four stages. Lest you think watching serious athletes do things like trying to cross a moat by hanging from light bulbs is an inappropriate use of your Sunday time, I note that Ninja Warrior is one of the only things my brother and I enjoy watching together. You can cal it family time! Give Ninja Warrior a shot, but beware: it’s kind of like potato chips. Watch it once, and you’ll be going back to watch all of them. New stuff tonight on G4 at 5:30pm Eastern, starting with the network’s American Ninja Challenge (qualifying US athletes into the real thing).

The Newest Summer Hit: SO YOU THINK YOU CAN MIME

Look, I’m nobody’s excuse for a dancer (well, there was all that square dance I did in fifth grade PE, but it’s not like I went pro in it or anything). Anything I have to say about dance is going to be solidly within the framework of that old artistic chestnut of not knowing much but knowing what I like.

But even someone with two left feet like mine can see that choreography does not have to be limited to acting out the words of the song to which you are dancing. Maybe the choreographers we most often see on So You Think You Can Dance don’t want to use up their best work on a reality TV show, or maybe they’re overworked. Or maybe they just think we’re stupid and can’t understand art. But while there were a couple of standout performances tonight, too many of the choreographers seem to be painting with an overly literal palette that relies too much on boringly conventional “romantic” relationships. Even Wade Robeson–and God bless his Goldfrapping freakazoidness–was stuck in boy-meets-girl land. I’ll watch Phillip Chbeeb do just about anything, but making him a) dance a routine about a feuding couple who makes up so they can go to bed that is b) set to a Ne-Yo song called “Bed” that c) warbles “I don’t wanna go to bed mad at you” is trying my patience. We’re at a really exciting point in the competition, where the dancers and the partnerships are fresh, so we’d love to see some fresh ideas from the creative minds behind the dances, too.

Until then, we’ll let Cat Deeley console us. Since the Emmy nominaton ballots are out now, here’s hoping voters don’t forget Ms. Deeley’s charming, sympathetic turn as timing martinet and dancing cheerleader. Maybe there will be a routine next week that is as riveting as she is.

IN PLAIN SIGHT “Duplicate Bridge”: Experiments in Particle Physics

In Plain Sight is only a few episodes into a second season, but the creators are already taking some welcome risks with the format of the show. Before the typical structure–a client of Mary’s gets in trouble; the way she digs them out of trouble mirrors a problem in her personal life–gets tired, they’re trying episodes that turn the focus on other characters, including Mary’s co-workers. Two weeks ago, the mystery of the week featured an old case of boss Stan’s; this week’s episode found Marshal Marshall having to gently remind Mary every few minutes that they were dealing with one of his witnesses for a change.

And this week’s worked much better, perhaps because guest star Clarke Peters (as an engineer who cannot believe that he might have contributed to a bridge collapse) is just so generally terrific. He’s been brilliant on The Wire; he was recently menacing on Damages; now he’s been heartbreaking on In Plain Sight. What will it take to get Clarke Peters his own show? Perhaps the same question could be asked concerning Frederick Weller, as the success of this episode might be in the way he mirrored Peters’ character. Just as Mary’s messy, well-meaning but colossally screwed-up witnesses reflect the way she barrels through life, Marshall’s more measured approach was reflected in a witness–a friend–who valued the precision of jazz and engineering perhaps a little too much. Marshall’s closing description of what he thinks Mary would see as Brandie’s tragic flaw–that she sheds her failures like a raincoat, and what that says about respecting failure as a part of life–showed us more character depth than weeks of Mary fighting her mother’s alcoholism or her own PTSD. Playing with the basic pieces of their show hasn’t always borne fruit, but more experiments like this will assure that In Plain Sight is built on a pretty solid foundation.

The Pusher and The User: WEEDS and NURSE JACKIE Premiere on Showtime Tonight

It’s Ladies’ Night on Showtime, with the return of Weeds and the premiere of Nurse Jackie. Weeds is sharp, brutally funny, and well-acted, and…we have a hard time watching it. Mary-Louise Parker is terrific in her role as widow-turned-marijuana dealer Nancy Botwin, but Nancy’s choices put her children in such horrific, dangerous situations that we have a hard time not wanting to call Social Services on a television character. Still, the lecture Nancy’s brother (the terrific Justin Kirk) once gave Nancy’s youngest son on…growing up…with a banana peel…is still one of the funniest things that television has produced recently, so if you can stomach the bad parenting, tune in.

Nurse Jackie, on the other hand, finds Edie Falco snorting Oxycontin to keep herself sharp enough to keep her patients out of danger. This pilot is by turns acerbic, heartbreaking, snide, touching, and clever, and it opens by quoting TS Eliot, so I fell a little in love a little too quickly. Falco is so good (and this is coming from someone who could not handle The Sopranos and therefore never really understood the acclaim for its leads) I almost want to hand her the Oxy myself. She’s joined by a solid supporting cast that includes Peter Facinelli (Damages, Six Feet Under, Fastlane), Anna Deavere Smith (The West Wing, The Practice), and Merritt Wever (Matt and Danny’s PA on Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip). I’m terrified thinking that Nancy Botwin’s kids are going to end up in the emergency room, to the point where I’m not sure I can watch her show, but I’d feel a lot better knowing they were going to end up under Nurse Jackie’s tough, tender care.

Weeds season premiere tonight at 10pm Eastern and Pacific, followed immediately by the series premiere of Nurse Jackie, both on Showtime.

New Episodes of THE CLOSER, RAISING THE BAR on TNT Tonight

I kinda like FBI Agent Fritzie (Jon Tenney), so I wonder occasionally what he sees in Brenda Leigh Johnson. Sure, I love her, but I love her as a hard-nosed cop who makes cool intuitive leaps. If I had to live with her, the Bacon Universe version of Deputy Chief Johnson would be investigating how the real Deputy Chief Johnson’s hacked-up corpse ended up in the garbage disposal.

Still, Fritz seems to be sticking it out, and the new season of The Closer that begins on TNT tonight finds the newlyweds negotiating both marriage and a case both the LAPD and the FBI want. Brenda and Fritz can be married all they want, as long as we get to see lots of Provenza (GW Bailey), Flynn (Tony Denison) and Tao (Michael Paul Chan).

TNT also brings back legal drama Raising the Bar, which did not raise the bar when it debuted last year. I may try it again for the love of Jane Kaczmarek, for said love runs deep. If they expect me to stick with it, though, they’re going to have to come up with twistier storylines and retreads of things we saw on Law and Order a decade ago. Fleshing out the characters and their relationships would be a bonus, too. They’ve gotten a second chances, so we’d love to see them take advantage of it. Opening the season mocking Mark-Paul Gosselaar‘s hair seems like a good sign.

The Closer premieres at 9pm Eastern and Pacific, with Raising the Bar immediately following, both on TNT.

ROYAL PAINS “Pilot”: St. Hank of the Hamptons

Pilots are tricky beasts. The need to introduce the characters and situations that provide the foundation for the entire show often gum up the storytelling, creating a checklist approach (“Handsome protagonist–means well and is funny. Check!”) instead of something more elegant.

Royal Pains is not the pilot to break this pattern. While the show’s premise is established with relative economy, the characters have little dimension or shading. The finacee who dumps Hank when he falls on hard times? We know she’s not good enough for him because she states in her three minutes of screentime that she wanted to spend their money on fancy wedding paraphenalia rather than on Hank’s legal bills. Hank’s brother is a good-time boy who takes advantange of the moment. The Hamptonites Hank treats are self-centered and spoiled. Lather, rinse, repeat.

On the other side of the coin, Hank is good but no less one-dimensional. Hank knows medicine better than anyone! Hank would never accept money for practicing medicine! (Until the end of the episode.) Hank is honest! Hank would love to serve as a surrogate father to a poor little rich boy! He’s clearly meant to be with the Hamptons’ hospital administrator, as she is good. She is so good that she knows Hank is right. Because he is Hank!

Maybe Royal Pains‘ aches and pains will be limited to the pilot–as predicted, Mark Feuerstein is adorable, and while Paulo Costanzo gets little to do but be a rascal as Hank’s brother, he’s a charming rascal indeed. The musical choices are less than fresh (really, if songs have been featured on iTouch and Target commercials, they’re not going to serve very well to set a scene), and some of the more melodramatic lines are clunkers (“Why didn’t you tell me you’re a hemophiliac?!?” set me to giggling when I wasn’t supposed to be). But the banter between the brothers is snappy, and the main characters are at least charming, so perhaps Royal Pains is worth a second opinion.

THE LISTENER: That’s Not the Color of His Parachute

Susannah and I were recently talking about the set-up and structure of serial storytelling. It makes sense that we see so many cop and doctor shows, because cops and doctors are so much more likely to stumble across a dramatic situation than are, say, retail workers or pickle-dehairers. Sure, we occasionally get a show set in, say, the White House or a pie shop (and even then the latter is in many ways about solving crimes), but it’s generally easier to get a conflict that can be resolved in 42 minutes rolling with a cop or a doctor at the helm.

So it’s no surprise that The Listener focuses on a central character (Craig Olejnik as Toby Logan) who is a paramedic, as his job can bring his psychic talents–oh, did I mention he’s a psychic paramedic?–to bear on cases where people are already in trouble. One of the problems with The Listener–in addition to the fact that it’s neither terribly well acted nor designed–is that our psychic paramedic isn’t content being a psychic paramedic. Instead, he has to be a cop, too. It’s one thing to assume that Toby can solve cases more quickly than the cops because he can hear people’s thoughts, but it’s hard to swallow the idea that Toby can solve cases more quickly than the cops because he thought to look up some records on the computer. I’d prefer to see the show about the psychic retail worker who solves cases by hearing people’s thoughts while they’re struggling into the wrong size in the dressing room, but if we get The Listener instead, could we at least get a paramedic who wants to be a paramedic? If I get in an accident in his general vicinity, I’d prefer to think Toby Logan is more worried about my vital signs than about reading my thoughts to solve the mystery of who took my baby Babybel cheeses out of the communal work refrigerator.