Squee! It’s…

Squee! It’s…look, I just want to point out how excruciatingly fair this squee makes me. It’s Jamie Bamber on the season premiere of Dollhouse tonight! You may recall that the Baconeers had…issues with Dollhouse when it premiered last year. People I trust keep telling me it got better, and I really, really want to love Joss Whedon, so I’m willing to give it another chance. And it may be clear that I had some Lee Adama issues in the Battlestar Galactica odyssey, but I chalk that up to the fact that the writers couldn’t figure out what to do with the character. Bamber was wonderful in the Horatio Horblower movies–he even held the screen against a really yummy Ioan Gruffudd–and was perfectly lovely in fare such as Cold Case and Band of Brothers. He’s even acquitted himself well as the British version of a district attorney in the new Law & Order: Picadilly Circus spin-off. Did you see what I did there? With the acquitted and the lawyer thing, and…never mind.

Come join me on my squee-filled journey of forgiveness. Dollhouse airs on Fox tonight at 9pm Eastern and Pacific.

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Squee! It’s…

Squee! It’s the beginning of the fall television season! We’ve already seen Glee take a bow (makes sense, since Fox has fall baseball to schedule around), and the CW comes roaring in tonight to fight for the young, young viewers. In addition to Vampire Diaries, which has already managed to float above the incredibly low bar Twilight set, the season openers of One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl debut tonight. If you’re part of the Gossip Girl audience, you probably had the premiere circled on your calendar–I’ve tried to love it, I really have, but I just can’t get past things like ridiculously colored men’s jackets. One Tree Hill gets less buzz than Gossip Girl, but has Gossip Girl ever had NFL Hall of Famer Jerry Rice as a guest star? Didn’t think so (although it troubles me to think that the young, young people might only know Jerry Rice from Dancing With the Stars). Might have to check out Mr. Rice during halftime of one of the two games inaugurating the Monday Night Football season (Patriots-Bills early, Chargers-Raiders late). One Tree Hill (and Jerry Rice!) at 8pm Eastern and Pacific and Gossip Girl at 9pm, both on the CW; Patriots-Bills at 7pm Eastern and Chargers-Raiders at 10:15pm Eastern, both on ESPN. The new Jay Leno thing that signals NBC’s unwillingness to fight for its life debuts as well, but you can find that yourself if you’re so inclined. We’re not so inclined.

Squee! It’s…

Oh, squee and a half–it’s Mary McDonnell on The Closer tonight (and for at least a few episodes beyond)! You may recall Ms. McDonnell from her Emmy-winning–OR IT HAD BETTER BE–role as President Laura Roslin on Battlestar Galactica, in which she rocked the airlock hard. She also recently appeared as a surgeon with Asperger’s Disorder on Grey’s Anatomy. She had a multi-ep arc on both ER and E/R, as well as roles on Touched by an Angel and High Society. And that’s not even counting her Oscar-nominated turns in Dances with Wolves and Passion Fish. I’d have loved her forever even without Roslin, just for being Donnie Darko’s mom. Now she’ll take on Chief Johnson as a hard-nosed Internal Affairs investigator. Put ’em out the airlock, Captain Raydor! Tonight on TNT at 9pm Eastern and Pacific.

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Squee! It’s…look, CW, can we talk? I know we don’t get along that well, largely because I am not a twelve-year-old girl and am therefore not part of your target audience. I know I’m apparently part of that 10 percent of women in the world who simply don’t understand America’s Next Top Model (“congratulations, you’re still in the running toward becoming irrelevant”). I probably hurt your bottom line by putting off my Supernatural viewing until summer reruns. But really–must we punish me with Smallville?

Sigh. Fine. Squee! It’s Kyle Gallner on Smallville tonight! We’ve been keeping an eye on Gallner since he broke my heart and my brain in Veronica Mars (I think Susannah sent out search party at one point. No, for me, not the actor). In addition to playing Beaver…I’m sorry, Cassidy Casablancas on VM, you may have seen Gallner in the obligatory Law and Order appearances, guest roles on shows such as Judging Amy, Medium, Bones, and Life, and in recent recurring roles on The Shield, CSI: Honey Barbecue (NY), and Big Love. He’s been an absolute delight as The Flash Impulse (whatever, CW) on Smallville, as he’s the only person with superpowers who seems to enjoy himself. We’ll see if he enjoys himself tonight, or if, given that he’s recently been cast in a starring role in the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, he’s about to become unavailable, making Impulse the rumored character death wrapping up the Smallville season. Don’t kill your one spark, Smallville! Tonight on the CW at 8pm Eastern and Pacific.

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Squee! It’s triple squee spotting on Lie to Me tonight. You may remember the rapture I experienced when Randolph Mantooth showed up on Criminal Minds a few weeks ago. Now his Emergency! partner in crime, Kevin Tighe, pops up as well. Roy DeSoto : Johnny Gage as Jon Baker : Francis Poncherello and Frank Hardy : Joe Hardy. You may also remember Tighe as the athletic governor Josh didn’t want entering the primary after President Bartlet’s MS was announced on The West Wing and as Locke’s no-good, kidney-stealing dad on Lost. He’s also appeared on everything from Leverage and the Laws and Orders, ER and Chicago Hope, to Freaks and Geeks. He’s joined by D.B. Woodside, aka Pretty Principal Robin Wood from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He’s filled other positions of authority as a president on 24, as well as appearing in Numb3rs, Grey’s Anatomy, and Once and Again (and, heaven help him, Viva Laughlin). Both Woodside and Tighe were in the gone-too-soon Murder One, as well.

Finally, Jason Beghe is also in tonight’s episode. If you’re an old-school X-Files fan like I am, you might be looking at Beghe’s name and thinking, “That seems familiar. Did he date Gillian Anderson once upon a time?” But then you will remember that it was actually David Duchovny. Well, not that Beghe dated Duchovny, but that he kind of shoved Duchovny into acting. So we kind of have Jason Beghe (who has also appeared in fare such as Life, Veronica Mars, American DreamsMelrose Place, and Picket Fences, among many others) to thank for The X-Files. Of course, that means he’s also kind of to thank for Californication–you be the judge. You can catch Tighe, Woodside, and Beghe on Lie to Me on Fox tonight at 8pm Eastern and Pacific. Since ABC has bumped Scrubs and Better Off Ted to next week to accommodate the presidential news conference, you can even catch them with no guilt involved (unless missing the presidential news conference makes you feel guilty, too).

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Squee! It’s Kate Vernon and–I’m not making this up–Ronald D. Moore on CSI: Original Flavor tonight! Apparently there’s a murder at a science-fiction convention celebrating a television classic, which makes it all the more appropriate to bring along Vernon and Moore. You recognize Kate Vernon not only as the surprisingly complicated Ellen Tigh on the recent Battlestar Galactica remake, but also from roles on Star Trek: Voyager and The Outer Limits (and if you watch some other genre, from shows as diverse as Nash Bridges, LA Law, Who’s the Boss [Ellen Tigh is!], and Falcon Crest). In addition to shepherdng the Battlestar remake to such great heights, Moore has written/executive produced shows such as Carnivale, Roswell, G vs E (I am the only person in the world who loved that show), and almost all of the modern Star Trek franchise. Fun!

Bonus geekeration: the episode is directed by Battlestar vet Michael Nankin (“Faith,” “Maelstrom,” and “Flight of the Phoenix;” he’s also directed episodes of American Gothic, Roar [!], Picket Fences, and Life Goes On) and written by BSG scribes Bradley Thompson and David Weddle (“Scattered,” “Exodus,” “Revelations;” they’ve also written for the recent Twilight Zone and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine). That’s a lot of sci-fi, my friends. We’ve been tossing around the idea of going to Dragon*Con this year, but will we even need to after watching CSI? Tonight at 9pm Eastern and Pacific on CBS.

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Squee! It’s Audrey Wasilewski tonight on Bones! In addition to having seen Wasilewski on fare as wide-ranging as Big Love, Mad Men, Eli Stone, Pushing Daisies (make a wish!), Gilmore Girls, Wonderfalls, Friends, and The Bernie Mac Show (wow), you’ve almost certainly heard her, as she’s an accomplished voice actor who’s done work on animation and video games alike. Come on–she was even Rosie O’Donnell in Queer Duck. Not to mention that she was Janice Trumbull, the White House staffer unlucky enough to love Star Trek in Josh Lyman’s general vicinity in That West Wing Episode Where Aaron Sorkin Really Ticked Us Off (you don’t even want to know about the Title IX ep. Seriously). Catch the adorable Audrey Wasilewski on FOX tonight at 8 Eastern/Pacific, 7 Central and Mountain.

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There’s a whole lot o’ squeeing going on tonight if you’re a TV fan (smells like sweeps spirit). Christine Baranski, Emmy winner for Cybill, star of several other sitcoms, and Law and Order briefcase carrier, shows up on Ugly Betty along with Ralph Macchio. The Karate Kid, people! Kaley Cuoco of The Big Bang Theory pops up on Supernatural. Rob Benedict, former hand model entrepreneur on Felicity (as well as nervous Nelly engineer Lucas Pegg on Threshold–oh, how we wanted that show to be good) has a role on CSI: Original Flavor. Oh, and that Clooney guy is supposed to show up on ER.

Now, I love me some George Clooney–no, I love me some George Clooney–and since he’s off being a movie star-fancy director-Oscar nominated writer, he doesn’t have much time for TV these days, so I suppose this is a treat. If I’d watched ER at any time in the last decade, the thought of him and Julianna Marguiles showing up in County General again might hold more appeal. Still, I’m reserving our ultimate squee tonight for a member of the Buffy family. Maybe the reason we’ve been rolling our eyes so strenuously at Dollhouse is because we’ve loved Joss Whedon’s other work so thoroughly, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the beginning of all of that. Amber Benson, who played shy witch (and eventual love interest for Willow) Tara, appears tonight on Private Practice. Benson has also appeared in Supernatural and Cold Case and is the author of several books, plays, and screenplays. So flip back and forth between medical shows and catch two hyphenates for the price of one. Private Practice (ABC) and ER (NBC) both air tonight at 10pm Eastern and Pacific.

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Squee! It’s just Firefly memories all over the tube tonight, as Summer Glau pops up playing herself on The Big Bang Theory. In addition to her time on the Serenity, you may remember Summer Glau from her recent regular gig on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, with her genes modified on The 4400, and in a recurring role on The Unit. Tonight’s outing finds her trapped…er, traveling on the same train as Sheldon and Leonard, who are starstruck by her greatness. We might be the same. Tonight on CBS at 8 Eastern and Pacific.

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Nostalgia squee tonight, as Bess Armstrong pops up on Criminal Minds. Now, I got fooled last week into watching Criminal Minds (Randy Mantooth=totally worth it), but I found it to be one of those off-putting crime procedurals where putting beautiful young women in torture-bondage situations where they are fighting for their lives passes as entertainment. Not for me, thanks. But…but…Angela Chase’s mom is on tonight! <cough> Er, in addition to My So-Called Life, you may remember Bess Armstrong from shows such as Boston Legal, One Tree Hill, and The Nanny. And My So-Called Life! <cough> Sorry.

If you just can’t stomach Criminal Minds, you can get double your nostalgia fix over on the US version of Life on Mars. Not only will you swim through the 70s, but tonight you’ll do it with Jason Kravits, the most excellent ADA Richard Bay on The Practice. You might also remember Mr. Kravits from shows such as Gilmore Girls, Ed, and various crime procedurals. Speaking of nostalgia, he recently survived Liz Lemon’s high school reunion. Wonder when Angela Chase’s is? Criminal Minds on CBS at 9 Eastern and Pacific; Life on Mars on ABC at 10 Eastern and Pacific.