BIG SHOTS Goes Down for the Count

ABC is putting the decidedly unfunny comedy Big Shots on hiatus for the rest of 2007, a move that bodes particularly poorly for the underperforming show. The series debuted to negative reviews and lackluster ratings this fall in the coveted Thursday 10 p.m. time slot behind Grey’s Anatomy. Even the addition of Veronica Mars mastermind Rob Thomas to the writing staff in August couldn’t seem to save this troubled show.

Thomas has been playing an unsuccessful game of musical chairs this season after the CW pulled the plug on his attempts to resurrect Veronica Mars for an FBI-based season four. Back in July he was on board to run ABC’s Miss/Guided, but jumped ship after a few weeks, citing “creative differences.”

Repeats of Private Practice will replace Big Shots for the rest of the year (in addition to Practice‘s regular Wednesday airings). Sadly, given the shortage of scripted programming the network is facing, we still may not have seen the last of Big Shots.

Prolonged Strike Taking Its Toll

In the latest fallout from the writer’s strike, the Television Critics Association has canceled their winter press tour. The fate of the event–where networks and cable channels promote their upcoming programming–has been hanging in the balance since NBC pulled out last month. But in the face of the breakup of contract negotiations and mounting logistical concerns, the networks and TCA executive board finally decided to pull the plug.

Meanwhile, NBC has begun reimbursing advertisers for fourth-quarter primetime ratings shortfall, the first time in years a network has been forced to take such a step. The current soft ratings aren’t a result of the WGA strike–which has yet to have a significant effect on programming–but a sign of larger problems facing the industry.

The full effect of the strike will start taking effect in January, when most networks will begin running out of scripted programming. CBS, NBC and Fox have already unveiled their upcoming schedule of midseason scripted shows, reality programming and judicious repeats.

If the strike lasts another four to six weeks it could disrupt pilot production for the 2008 season. In that case, the networks may be forced to renew all their existing series for next fall and put off launching any new shows until midseason 2009, a particularly dismal scenario for television viewers.

LIFE ON MARS: When on Earth Will This All End?

Do you not like me with my clown? I can see I make you frown. When on Earth will all this end? I’m your friend, your only friend.

When the above couplets are recited by a disturbing little girl with an equally disturbing clown doll whose day job is gracing test cards after hours on the BBC, you know you’re not in Kansas any more–you’re on Mars.

BBC America is showing the second–and final, so I guess we know when on Earth this all will end–season of Life on Mars, starting tomorrow (Tuesday) night with two episodes back-to-back. While they haven’t seen fit to grace us with a replay of the first season to get new viewers caught up, any mild confusion you feel jumping into the second season is a) totally worth it and b) nothing compared to the confusion Sam Tyler is feeling. A police detective hit by a car while investigating a serial killer in 2006, Sam (John Simm, recently seen being awesome on Doctor Who) wakes up in 1973 Manchester (!). Complete with bell-bottom threads and the wailing tones of Mr. Bowie that give the series its name.

The main storyline that threads through the entire series is Sam’s disposition. Is he dead? Is he in a coma in 2006, with brainwaves so messed up they’ve created an amazingly detailed but entirely internal reality for him? Or have he and his modern police techniques actually been transported back to 1973? I’d imagine most viewers of Season 1 have placed their bets on that question by now, but creepy little tidbits like Test Card Girl (now with Clown!), phone calls from the future, and criminals overlapping both eras make any guess an uneasy one.

And the series is just as engaging when firmly grounded in 1973, with period sets, costumes, music, and, most importantly, attitudes leaving modern audiences as nonplussed as Sam is. The show can be grim, dealing with man’s inhumanity to man both great (murder) and small (we’ve not yet left the era of casual sexism and racism, a jarring reality the show best highlights with Philip Glenister‘s brilliant portrayal of Sam’s coarse but often correct 1973 boss). But you kind of have to love a show that balances the potentially supernatural and an era of urban decay with pasty, pudgy men in bikini swimsuits chasing a suspect to “Live and Let Die,” you really do.

Somebody Bring the Man His *%!!#@ Figgy Pudding!

I suspect not everyone has access to the Travel Channel, but if you do, allow me to remind you that you really, really want to catch the Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations Holiday Special tonight. You might remember the fabulous Mr. Bourdain as the chef (would he prefer cook?)/author who lifted the curtain on the kitchen in Kitchen Confidential (there might be a little swearing going on in the back of your favorite restaurant. And maybe a little smoking. And for the love of all that’s holy, don’t touch the Sunday brunch buffet!). He’s since written more excellent books (check out the one on Typhoid Mary), popped up as a judge on Top Chef, and done a couple of fascinating shows featuring him traveling the world and eating…interesting stuff.

What could be happier than an Anthony Bourdain holiday special? An Anthony Bourdain holiday special where he cooks for the Queens of the Stone Age. While they wear Christmas sweaters purchased from QVC. I’m not kidding. You know you want to watch this, so find someone who has the Travel Channel and bring some figgy pudding, sheep testicles, and seal eyeball for holiday snacking to the party tonight at 10pm EST/PST.

AMPTP Takes Its Toys and Goes Home

Exactly as predicted, the AMPTP has stormed away from the negotiating table again, breaking off contract talks and issuing a prickly press release attempting to focus blame on the WGA.

At the talks this afternoon the AMPTP presented a list of six key issues which it insisted be withdrawn completely before it would continue negotiations. When the WGA did not immediately acquiesce to this demand on the spot, the AMPTP walked away.

In its statement, the AMPTP claimed to be “puzzled and disheartened by an ongoing WGA negotiating strategy that seems designed to delay or derail talks.” Yet despite the moguls attempts to shift the blame, it seems clear that it’s the AMPTP who has been derailing these talks.

The WGA countered with a statement of its own, slamming the AMPTP’s ultimatum and insisting the writers are “ready and willing to negotiate, no matter how intransigent our bargaining partners are … When any of them are ready to return to the table, we’re here, ready to make a fair deal.”

Holiday TV Viewing Guide (Dec. 8-14)

— SATURDAY, DEC. 8 —

2:30 PM
The Year Without a Santa Claus
ABC Family
In case you’re like me and can never remember which Rankin & Bass special is the one with the Heat Miser and the Cold Miser, well, it’s this one.

6:00 PM
Doctor Who: “The Christmas Invasion”
BBC America
The newly regenerated Doctor and Rose fight off creepy Santas and killer Christmas trees. David Tennant’s premiere as the tenth Doctor is a little bit silly, a little bit thrilling, and a whole lot of fun, plus it plants the seeds for both Torchwood and Harold Saxon.

— SUNDAY, DEC. 9 —

12:00 AM
Desperate Housewives: “The Miracle Song”
Lifetime
The residents of Wisteria Lane plan the annual winter block party.

8:00 PM
Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Cartoon Network
Santy Claus, why? Why are you taking our Christmas tree, why?

–– MONDAY, DEC. 10 —

4:00 PM
Rugrats: “A Rugrats Chanukah”
Nickelodeon
The tots learn the true meaning of Hanukkah as Boris settles a long-standing feud.

8:00 PM
Everybody Hates Chris: “Everybody Hates Kwanzaa”
CW
Chris must do a good deed over his holiday break for school; Julius decides to boycott Christmas in favor of Kwanzaa.

8:30 PM
Aliens in America: “Church”
CW
Franny tries to impress Raja by prodding the family to attend church and perform in the Christmas play.

10 PM
Journeyman: “Home by Another Way”
NBC
When layoffs hit Dan’s office on Christmas Eve, he must travel back in time to the newspaper’s holiday party.

— TUESDAY, DEC. 11 —

8:00 PM
Bones: “The Man in the Fallout Shelter”
Fox
Nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus. Or a quarantine. Or a quarantine because of a Christmas lung fungus.

9:00 PM
House: “Merry Little Christmas”
Fox
What has more Christmas cheer than a detoxing Dr. House? Just about anything.

— WEDNESDAY, DEC. 12 —

12:00 AM
Family Guy: “A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas”
Cartoon Network
Peter accidentally gives away all the Christmas presents.

2:00 AM
The X-Files: “Christmas Carol”
Sci Fi
Scully goes home for Christmas but is haunted by dreams about a murdered woman’s daughter.

— THURSDAY, DEC. 13 —

8:00 PM
The Office: “A Benihana Christmas”
NBC
Michael nurses a broken heart while strife on the party-planning committee results in two competing Christmas parties in this hilarious hour-long episode from last season.

9:00 PM
30 Rock: “Episode 209”
NBC
Awesome stunt casting alert! Liz’s parents (Buck Henry, Anita Gillette) and brother (Andy Richter) come to visit in time for the staff’s annual Ludachristmas party.

9:00 PM
Supernatural: “A Very Supernatural Christmas”
CW
Sam and Dean investigate a series of murders in which the victims were pulled up through chimneys.

9:00 PM
Seinfeld: “The Strike”
TBS
It’s the episode that brought us a Festivus for the rest of us! Not to mention the traditional Airing of Grievances, followed by the Feats of Strength.

9:30 PM
Seinfeld: “The Pick”
TBS
Elaine’s Christmas cards reveal a little too much of herself.

9:30 PM
Saturday Night Live Christmas
NBC
A compilation of holiday-themed sketches from the past 28 years, hosted by Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey.

10:00 PM
Without a Trace: “Claus and Effect”
CBS
A store Santa vanishes after getting a death threat and the team suspects that the young man, a former child prodigy, may have been involved in criminal activity.

— FRIDAY, DEC. 14 —

8:00 PM
Ghost Whisperer: “Holiday Spirit”
CBS
Melinda sacrifices her holiday traditions to help a ghost who believes he is Santa Claus to find the true meaning of Christmas.

Writers Continue to Enlist Viewer Support

At 10 a.m. today, hundreds of Buffy, Angel and Firefly fans will converge on Fox Studios to walk the picket line alongside some of their favorite writers and actors, in yet another example of how the WGA is enlisting the support of television viewers to send a message to the studios.

United Hollywood’s Pencils2MediaMoguls campaign is already nearing the half million pencils mark and several television showrunners over the last two weeks have stepped forward to up the ante, raffling off prizes to fans who buy pencils in the name of their shows and creating some friendly competition between fandoms.

Lost showrunners Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse have offered up autographed scripts and DVDs, as well as a personal thank-you call from the duo and actor Matthew Fox “where we shall do our bestest to answer your questions about the show’s mysteries.” Battlestar Galactica‘s Ron Moore is raffling off a hockey game in Vancouver with Aaron Douglas, phone calls from Mary McDonnell, Tricia Helfer, Michael Hogan, and Michael Trucco, and three autographed towels donned by Jamie Bamber in a notorious season two episode. Smallville fans can win a personal phone call from Lex Luther himself–Michael Rosenbaum–while Eureka fans can win call from actor Colin Ferguson and co-creator Jaime Paglia. And one lucky pencil-buying Jericho fan will receive the Cheyenne Flag which flew over Camp Liberty in the season one finale.

Now the WGA has teamed up with progressive blog Firedoglake to launch a special web site–http://firedoglake.com/wga–where viewers can select their favorite shows and send the producers a personal message in support of the Writers Guild. In addition, they’ve organized an ad campaign supported by several leading progressive blogs including Daily Kos, Raw Story, Crooks & Liars, Democratic Underground, and AlterNet.

Is the AMPTP Serious About Negotiating or Simply Stalling?

As we head into yet another day of contract negotiations between the AMPTP and WGA, the chances of a resolution to the strike by Christmas seem to have gone from slim to none.

Publicly, the AMPTP has appeared more conciliatory this week, and there have been reports of dissension in the ranks of moguls. But could all this just be more subterfuge meant to mislead the press and the writers while the AMPTP continues to play hardball behind the scenes? Hollywood Today thinks so. So does Deadline Hollywood Daily‘s Nikki Finke, who’s predicting that the AMPTP has no real intention of bargaining and, in fact, plans to quit the talks and then blame the stalemate on the WGA–possibly as soon as today.

Last week the AMPTP retained the elite crisis management firm of Fabiani and Lehane, a sign that the moguls may be shoring up for a lengthy and increasingly nasty battle. And they still have yet to deliver the promised second half of last week’s new media proposal, or a response to the counter-proposal released by the WGA earlier this week.

So while the AMPTP continues to insist publicly that they are “committed to making a fair and reasonable deal” the truth seems to be that they have yet to engage in any real bargaining or to deliver on any of their promises. In fact, one week after they first touted their self-proclaimed “New Economic Partnership,” they still haven’t released any details to back up the supposed $130 million in additional compensation they claimed to be offering.

If the strike does drag on past Christmas, it’s looking likelier that the Director’s Guild may begin early negotiations with the AMPTP on their own contract. Such a move would undermine the WGA because any contract settlement with the DGA would set a precedent that the writers would essentially have to follow. Meanwhile, Wall Street firm Natixis Bleichroeder has said that it will cut its earnings forecast on media conglomerates if the strike lasts into 2008, and predicted that the strike could cost ABC, CBS and Fox as much as $100 million of revenue each.

Fire Up the Infinite Improbability Drive

I’m not sure how I feel about Seth Green’s neck exploding. (If you haven’t been keeping up with Grey’s Anatomy, I can hardly blame you, but just to catch you up: Seth Green’s neck exploded at the end of the last episode. Tune in tonight to see if that kills him. I’m going with no.)

Part of my indecisiveness is because I’m very fond of Seth Green, and his neck exploding worries me. The bigger issue, however, is that it is ridiculous to have a storyline where (buckle in!) someone’s neck explodes in the same episode where a paramedic has a seizure because she has a brain tumor and this causes her to crash into another ambulance which causes serious injury to both the paramedics in the other ambulance and to her partner, who just happens to be a white supremacist, not to mention their patient, who has come down with an infection that will cause his sternum to be removed but who must now also have a giant hunk of ambulance–you know it’s from the ambulance because there’s a big “A” on the giant hunk–taken out of his leg, too.

After I catch my breath from the exertion of saying that all in one lungful, I’ll assure you I am not kidding.

This Exclamation Pointitis drags down several otherwise fine programs. Grey’s was once better than watchable but has slid into new lows of ridiculousness. Friday Night Lights is another prime offender: one miracle win would be not just acceptable, but stirring. But multiple miracle wins, including a story where (deep breath) the Panthers are way behind in a game where the starting quarterback and running back have been benched, so a third-stringer delivers the stirring halftime speech that rallies the team so they’re within striking distance when the good guys throw an interception, but the third-stringer causes a fumble that the Panthers run in for a touchdown–mind you, the last couple are all on the same play–leading the suspended QB and RB to make up in the middle of the game to get back on the field, where they call a play specifically designed for the third-stringer who has never played before tonight, but that’s okay because he doesn’t catch the ball and the game is over, but that’s also okay because the flag flies on the latest pass interference penalty ever called, and since the game can’t end on a defensive penalty the Panthers get another shot and the recently liberated RB scores the winning touchdown, and everyone in the stadium chants the third-stringer’s name for drawing a pass interference penalty and are you kidding me?!? (pant, pant)

Some television is well-suited to piling up the improbabilities; speculative fiction, for example, is all about putting characters in extraordinary situations, just to see what will happen. Ever wonder whether the best or the worst of humanity would win out if all civilization fell simultaneously? Fire up the Battlestar Galactica, where sexy robots kill 99% of the human population and octogonal blood can cure diseases. Shows like The West Wing and House, while wildly compressing the number of people who would work on their puzzles, have settings that loan themselves to multiple dramatic moments. We really do believe White House staffers might face several crises every day. The only reason House’s department exists is to be funneled the crazy cases no one else can solve.

But several shows with more earth-bound settings are stretching their stories well beyond plausible deniability. I’ve no doubt someone’s neck exploded in a hospital at some point in the history of mankind. I believe paramedics have lost consciousness while driving. I’m even sure someone somewhere in the world was once wheeled into an emergency room with a hunk of ambulance in his leg. What I can’t believe is that these things all happened in the same hospital on the same day. I understand that these shows have to go beyond reality to tell dramatic stories–and even sympathize with that pressure–but sandwiching every freaky medical case or every thrilling football miracle into a single episode not only creates eyerolling scenarios, it chews through story at the kind of breakneck pace that explains why many shows can’t excel past the first season or two. If these kinds of shows keep it up, audiences will have to decide if it’s harder to suspend disbelief over the plots, or over the fact that the shows are still on the air at all.

CBS Plans Edited Broadcasts of DEXTER

CBS president Leslie Moonves told reporters at UBS’ Global Media & Communications Conference in New York that the network is planning to re-broadcast some series that air on its Showtime cable unit. “Dexter is probably the first one to go on–with some edits,” Moonves said. “It fits with our crime shows.” The blood-spattered series has become a critical and ratings success for Showtime, but might need more than a little editing to tone down the language and gore.

In addition to Dexter, CBS also is considering Showtime’s racy period drama The Tudors, which originally was developed for CBS, and the critically praised dark comedy Weeds, about a pot-peddling soccer mom. Both shows commonly feature nudity and graphic sex, and since the FCC has traditionally cracked down on these vices while becoming increasingly lenient towards graphic violence, they may prove far harder to clean up for network broadcast than the viscera-laden Dexter.