The Real Keith Number

Perhaps, like me, you have long loved Keith Olbermann from afar. If you’re really like me, you still have his last Big Show (the Sunday night edition of SportsCenter, with Dan Patrick) on videotape, if only because they were the model for Aaron Sorkin’s underappreciated Sports Night. (Or perhaps to preserve gems such as “Dick Trickle…did not finish.”) If you’re really, really like me, you love Keith anew every year when he gripes about Dale Murphy not being elected to the baseball Hall of Fame.

If you’re really, really, really like me, you’re really, really, really loving Keith these days for being one of the few newsfolk out there who acknowledged that bad calls by pundits prior to, say, the New Hampshire primaries likely had less to do with “racist” voters (paging Chris Matthews) or cell phones and more to do with the pundits’ own inability to do math. Hence the recent introduction of what might be my favorite part of Countdown‘s broadcast, the Keith Number, or polling data that include noting the percent of respondents that are undecided plus the margin of error (not to be confused with the Keith Number—don’t they teach recreational mathematics anymore?). If the Keith Number had been in play before New Hampshire, the pundits might not have been able to make the right call, but they couldn’t have pretended to be so shocked by it, either. It would be nice to think that attention to detail like the Keith Number might lead to a bump in Keith’s numbers (from tvbythenumbers.com).

The real Keith Number today, however, is eight, or the number of fourth quarter comebacks Eli Manning had engineered late in the regular season when Mr. Olbermann called Manning a player to watch a few weeks before the Super Bowl–and dang. Perhaps the Keith Number is not to be messed with.

Guide to February Series Premieres

Yes, the writers strike is still dragging on (although I’ve got all my fingers and toes crossed that we may be nearing the end), but that doesn’t mean we’re completely bereft of new scripted television. In addition to the upcoming returns of The New Adventures of Old Christine (Feb. 4), Jericho (Feb. 12), Family Guy (Feb. 17), Back to You (Feb. 26), Men and Trees (Feb. 27), and Reaper (Feb. 28), we’ve got a few new shows premiering this month as well.

WELCOME TO THE CAPTAIN (CBS)
Premieres: Monday, Feb. 4, at 8:30 PM
Time slot: Mondays at 8:30 PM EST
Description: Writer John Hamburg (best known for penning Ben Stiller flicks like Zoolander and Meet the Parents) brings us this single-camera comedy about a struggling young screenwriter (Fran Kanz) who moves into an old-fashioned Hollywood apartment complex stocked with the requisite collection of quirky characters, including his womanizing best friend (American Pie‘s Chris Klein), a washed up sit-com writer (Arrested Development‘s Jeffrey Tambor), a cute acupuncturist (Joanna Garcia), and a well-preserved seductress (Raquel Welch).

LIPSTICK JUNGLE (NBC)
Premieres: Thursday, Feb. 7, at 10:01 PM
Time slot: Thursdays at 10:01 PM EST
Description: Yet another dramedy based on a Candace Bushnell book about high-powered New York career women. This time How I Met Your Mother scribes DeAnn Heline and Eileen Heisler have given us 24‘s Kim Raver as the editor-in-chief of a fashion magazine, Brooke Shields as a movie exec struggling to balance career and family, and Lindsay Price (last seen guest starring in HIMYM’s excellent “Spoiler Alert” episode as the annoyingly chatty Cathy) as a free-spirited designer looking for Mr. Right. I feel a little ill just typing all that, but hey, it can’t be worse than Cashmere Mafia, right? Please?

QUARTERLIFE (NBC)
Premieres: Tuesday, Feb. 26, at 10:00 PM
Time slot: Sundays at 9:00 PM EST
Description: This internet series from Marshall Herskovitz and Edward Zwick (the creative team behind My So-Called Life and thirtysomething) originally started as an experiment in programming free of corporate ownership and creative interference–and was promptly snapped up by strike-strapped NBC. The series, which has been running in eight-minute chunks on MySpace and the quarterlife web site, tells the ongoing stories of six people between the ages of 20 and 30 (it’s during this “quarterlife,” the series maintains, that many of life’s most important decisions are made), through the blog of the lead character, a would-be writer played by Bitsie Tulloch (of the internet serial phenomenon lonelygirl15). Whether a story designed to be told in eight-minute chunks will play well in an hour-long time slot remains to be seen, but I’m always inclined to give Herskovitz and Zwick the benefit of the doubt.

Squee! It’s…

Squee! It’s…well, it’s new episodes of a good show, actually, with a held-back Christmas episode of House popping up. More importantly, however: squee! It’s Janel Moloney! The likelihood of Sorkin-withdrawal is high tonight, as Moloney appeared both on Sports Night (“It’s called gunmetal. Gray has more ivory in it.”) and on The West Wing, where she was twice nominated for an Emmy as Josh Lyman’s assistant, Donna. Josh may have hardly ever known what she was saying, but we always did. She’s recently appeared on Brotherhood, but you may also have enjoyed her as Amber Frey in a TV movie about the Scott Peterson case. Heh. Hooray for Janel Moloney and Hugh Laurie in the same room!

TORCHWOOD: They Went to Murder Rehab!

Those of us who were frustrated by the first season of Torchwood have been wrestling with why: is it because one of the characters proves himself a rapist in the first episode and is never given more than a slap on the wrist for it (using chemicals–even alien ones–to get otherwise unwilling partners to have sex with you=rape, Owen)? Is it because the characters prove over and over again that they don’t have even the most basic investigative or anti-terrorism skills needed to combat alien threats?

Actually, it turns out the biggest problem was a simple one: no matter how dark or “adult” your setting is, if your star is John Barrowman and you’re not having a ton o’ cheery, cheeky fun, you’re doing it wrong.

And–a miracle! The first minute of Torchwood Season 2 was more fun than the entire first season put together. There was a blowfish driving a sports car, for Pete’s sake–that’s almost fun by definition. While the subsequent three minutes showed that, in spite of a lot of bustling around, the Torchwood team is no more competent than they were in Season 1 (try checking the blowfish’s pockets, geniuses), it’s hard to care so much about that when James Marsters is smooching John Barrowman and then using Captain Jack’s face for bar clean-up–all to the tune of Blur’s ubiquitous “Song 2”. Woohoo, indeed!

While not every episode can feature Marsters’ Captain John Hart (why not? Why not?!?), the cheeky tone and the promise of an overarching, emotional mystery suggest that the Torchwood folk went to murder rehab over the hiatus–and I couldn’t be more excited to hear it. Woohoo! I think they’re feeling heavy metal!

SOPRANOS, 30 ROCK Get SAG Love

“Welcome to the most glamorous and exciting evening in the history of the world,” said presenter Steve Carell, summarizing the prevailing, if slightly hyperbolic, sentiment at the Screen Actors Guild Awards tonight. Celebs of all stripes were out in full force, taking advantage of the red carpet opportunity provided by the WGA-approved ceremony, which was broadcast on TNT and TBS.

After a shut out at the Golden Globes, The Sopranos felt the love from SAG, taking home the top three honors for a drama series. Actors from 30 Rock and The Office were honored for comedy series, and the 24 team won the first-ever stunt ensemble award.

See the complete list of television winners behind the cut…

PUSHING DAISIES, MAD MEN Take DGA Honors

Mad Men director Alan Taylor beat out double nominees from The Sopranos and Lost, winning the DGA award for outstanding directorial achievement in a dramatic series. The guild prizes were handed out at non-televised ceremony Saturday night.

Variety reports that the guild’s swift contract resolution with the AMPTP was a running theme throughout the evening, which included a standing ovation for chief negotiator Jay D. Roth when he was awarded an honorary lifetime membership to the guild.

A complete list of television winners is behind the cut…

Strike Relief for MAD MEN, WEEDS

Lionsgate has joined the list of studios to successfully negotiate an interim agreement with the WGA that allows the company to resume development of its film and television productions. This is good news for fans of Weeds and Mad Men, both of which are part of the Lionsgate stable. So while the writers strike may end up pushing back the return dates of a lot our favorite shows, we can sleep comfortably knowing that Don Draper and Nancy Botwin will back to their old tricks on schedule.

Diary of a Completist

Wandering through the living room and observing me grumbling at the TiVo while making sure a Season Pass was set for tomorrow’s season premiere of Torchwood (“Grumblegrumble why doesn’t someone just stab Owen in the face grumblegrumble if you’re such a super sekrit organization, why do you race around in a giant flashing SUV with your name stamped into the hood grumblegrumble”), my brother brought the entire proceedings to a halt with a single insightful moment: “If the show drives you that crazy, why are you watching it?”

Fair question.

Maybe I’m girding my loins to watch Torchwood (with that crew, you kind of need to go into things with your loins protected) because events in its parent show persuade me the main character will be fun again. Maybe its because writer (and recently named Law and Order: Piccadilly Circus showrunner) Chris Chibnall admitted that they miscalibrated how much they let the characters’ mistakes pile up, suggesting they won’t make the same miscalculation twice. Maybe it’s because James Marsters of Angel and Buffy fame is not only showing up to kiss Captain Jack–he’s showing up after having raided Adam Ant’s wardrobe. That is admittedly pretty persuasive.

The most accurate reason, however, is probably that I’m a completist. Once I’ve been sucked–suckered?–into a TV world, I have to know everything about it. I’ll read comic books or tie-in novels. I’ll scour the Interwebs for anything and everything written about that show, regardless of whether it’s a serious academic treatise on Buffy Summers as transgressive feminist icon or Melllvar’s fan-written screenplay. I’ll badger Netflix for DVDs of deservedly obscure entries in the writers’ or actors’ filmographies.

And thus: Torchwood. Forty-some-odd years of Doctor Who paraphenalia to sort through apparently isn’t enough–now I have to add Torchwood goings-on to the list, just in case they reference Doctor Who in some fashion. And sure enough–there’s a hand in a jar. More importantly, there’s Martha! They’ve marbled in just enough Whonalia to make me worry I’ll miss something important about the show I love if I skip the show I…tolerate. It works. And it’s unlikely to stop–it’s why I’m trying to get around work firewalls to check out Joss Whedon’s Sugar Shock. It’s why I had to persevere in listening to The Wire‘s Michael K. Williams on NPR, even though it took almost four hours thanks to thoughtless people who kept interrupting me and asking me to do, you know, work at work. It’s why I merrily hummed my way through old LPs (vinyl, people!) of Gilbert and Sullivan for a week after the West Wing gang welcomed Ainsley to the fold.

It’s an illness, but I suspect I’m not the only one suffering from it. So we need to form a support group, hope Torchwood really is better this season, or squat on facestabbersagainstowen.com. Votes?

PaleyFest08 to Feature BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

The upcoming William S. Paley Television Festival in Los Angeles has announced several new panels, including one focusing on cult fave Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No definite word yet on exactly who will be appearing on the panel, but odds are good that creator Joss Whedon will be there, along with at least a few former castmembers. Other series to be featured at the annual TV lovefest include Mad Men, Dirty Sexy Money, Chuck, and Dancing with the Stars.

The Paley Center for Media previously announced that the fest, scheduled to take place March 14-27, would include panels dedicated to Gossip Girl, Pushing Daisies, and Judd Apatow. The rest of the lineup will be announced Feb. 4, with tickets going on sale to museum members on Feb. 7 and to the general public Feb. 10.

LOST Finale to Re-Air with Enhancements

ABC will air an enhanced version of “Through the Looking Glass,” the two-hour third season finale of Lost, on Wednesday, Jan. 30 at 7 p.m. eastern–the night before the show’s fourth season is set to premiere. Newly added text at the bottom of the screen will provide clues and special information for viewers. It’s been eight months since we last heard from our favorite castaways, so a bit of a refresher will probably come in handy.

The next night (or “Lostsday,” as I’ve been calling it) ABC will air a retrospective special at 8 p.m., followed by the season premiere–tantalizingly titled “The Beginning of the End”–at 9. In order to keep the much-anticipated episode’s content under wraps, the network has not made the premiere available to critics .