CASHMERE MAFIA: No.

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You know what I would like to see on my television? Smart, powerful women who own their own damn selves. Smart, powerful women who own their own damn selves and aren’t made the butt of jokes for doing it (Ugly Betty, I’m looking at you). Unlike the caricatures on the offensive, painful mess that is Cashmere Mafia, the smart, powerful women I know like themselves enough that they wouldn’t make excuses for some asshat who cheats on them by whimpering about how hard it must be to live with a smart, powerful woman. And they really, really wouldn’t preface those excuses by saying they’re not making excuses for men who are so useless they can’t stand to live with a smart, powerful woman (in fairness, that’s not the laziest part of the writing. The laziest part is a meet-cute where two people bonk heads while trying to pick something up off the floor. Aren’t you clever!).

As I noted when the ghastly The Devil Wears Prada came out, I am sick nigh unto death of pop culture that teaches us that ambitious women must be punished–and, specifically, that they must be punished by men who are right to be affronted by female ambition. To any smart, powerful woman looking to own her own damn self, I say to you now: if Some Guy is uncomfortable with how much money you make or how fast you’ve moved up in the company or how well you juggle your kids or how sharp people think you are? Then he’s not good enough for you. There are worse things than being alone, and one of those worse things is being with someone who doesn’t want you to own your own bad self. The fact that Miranda Otto and Lucy Liu try to tell you otherwise while having the shiniest hair and the highest heels in the world doesn’t make them right–it just makes them empty. Don’t listen to them, don’t internalize them, and, most important, don’t watch their unbelievably stupid TV show. Own. Your. Damn. Self.

Or, as Tracy Jordan would put it more succinctly, “Stop eating people’s old french fries, Cashmere Mafia women. Have some self-respect. Don’t you know you can fly?”

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8 thoughts on “CASHMERE MAFIA: No.

  1. Oh Tracy Jordan! I miss you!

    As for CM – I did not watch it but I can tell you this – several of my toes are still swollen from the super high heels I wore to our work holiday party three weeks ago. I was empty for a night and I’m still in pain. I think that’s a lesson of some kind. 😉

  2. Hee! And ow! Now, see, if you were Miranda Otto’s character, you’d be wibbling into your wine about how you will miss the toes you have to have amputated as a result, but you have to tolerate the high heels because your husband likes them and it must be just awful for him to have to live with a woman who makes more money than he does. Thanks, Cashmere Mafia!

  3. My TiVo caught the rebroadcast last night and you’re right, it’s pretty appalling. Although I missed a lot of Miranda Otto’s wibbling because as soon as she started to talk about how hard it must be for her cheating husband to be married to such powerful woman, ABC cut away to declare Hilary Clinton the winner in New Hampshire. Which is so oddly apropos I almost have to believe they timed it that way on purpose.

  4. I know! My dear Fanny Price, what has become of you? And I’m so angry at Eowyn I can’t even look at her shiny, shiny hair anymore.

  5. I can’t think about Miranda Otto’s previous work too much, or I get nearly as teary as she was over that stupid glass of wine. And I can’t even wrap my head around the Clinton cut–that’s stunning.

    Since I suffer so you won’t have to, I can report that last night’s episode only confirmed the drek-level–imagine Frances O’Connor using her vast wealth and East Side connections to be passive-aggressive! Isn’t that yummy? And the grotesquerie that is their constant conspicuous consumption is just unwatchable. Look at me! I got a Gucci bag! Aren’t I wonderful? LOOK AT ME!!! I am this close to declaring it worse than Viva Laughlin, and that is saying something.

  6. A show that doesn’t even take the time to airbrush Lucy Liu’s cankles from the publicity shot just *is* *not* *worth* my time.

  7. Pingback: Guide to February Series Premieres « TV BACON

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