BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: What’s Good for the Goose Isn’t Always Good for the Gander

The meandering season premiere of Battlestar Galactica (along with a few meandering episodes late in Season 3–yes, I am looking at you, “The Woman King”) has taught us something important: humans need Cylons. When the Cylon threat is imminent, the remaining ragtag human population finds a way to bind together, to overcome their fears and weaknesses, to embrace each other (often literally) in order to face the onslaught. When the Cylons are off on their own, deciding they want to find Earth, too, or doing naked tai chi or sleeping with Gaius Baltar, the humans revert back to their bickering, petty ways. Left to their own devices, the humans start mooning over past loves we’ve never seen before, giving Lee “Maybe I’ll Be Less Boring In A Suit Than I Was In A Uniform” Adama five-minute standing ovations for leaving (apparently the Colonies never had a stop-loss policy), and sleeping with Gaius Baltar. They need the Cylons to spur them into being more than they otherwise would be on their own.

The Cylons, on the other hand, might be better off on their own. When their former slavemasters are around, they get all obsessive and weird over both genocide and wanting to be like what they’re trying to obliterate. When the humans are off on their own, deciding that Helo must be the only non-bigot left in the fleet or listening to Cally screech or sleeping with Gaius Baltar, the Cylons are forced to look in the mirror and try to figure out, as Six put it last night, what their place in the universe is. They’re forced, as a species, to grow up, and that’s hard work to do under the best of circumstances, let alone when you’re trying to mop up the last 40,000 humans in the galaxy. “Six of One” asks the Cylons more directly than ever before if they have become like humans–too much like humans, if they’re enslaving other mechanical lifeforms (One’s “they’re tools, not pets” is one of the more chilling statements out of a Cylon’s mouth in the last couple of years). They have a hard time seeing the answer to that question with any clarity when the humans are right there in their faces.

Given all of that, where do the last 18 episodes of Battlestar Galactica go? Is that why the Final Five are so important–can they bring the humans and the Cylons together in some way that resolves this divide? Or has all of this happened before, and will all of it happen again, implying that they will always be locked in this dance toward but never reaching equilibrium? If so, could they maybe dance a little faster?

Thursday Night’s Alright (For Laughing)

All is right with the world once more. That’s right, after five long months of deprivation, we’ve finally got our Thursday nights back again. I’m referring, of course, to NBC’s comedy lineup–My Name Is Earl, 30 Rock, The Office and Scrubs–which is back tonight with all new episodes for the first time since the writers strike torpedoed the season.

It’s a rare convergence of television programming that brings four comedies of this caliber together in one block. Not since the Golden Age of Must See TV–dominated by the Holy Quartet of The Cosby Show, Family Ties, Cheers and Night Court–have we had this much reason to look forward to Thursday nights.

First up tonight, Earl picks up where last week’s episode left off, with Randy taking over a comatose Earl’s list. Okay, Earl’s imaginary sitcom within a sitcom may be further evidence that the show’s gone a bit off the rails this season. But I’m willing to grant some leeway to any storyline that gives Ethan Suplee’s Randy a chance to step into the spotlight.

On 30 Rock, a throwaway line from earlier in the season becomes the focus of a whole episode, as Jack tries to figure out which TGS staffer has been badmouthing his reality hit MILF Island. Best Week Ever‘s Rob Huebel guest stars as the host of the fake show, described as “25 super-hot moms, 50 eighth-grade boys, no rules.” Look for it on NBC’s summer reality schedule.

The Office finally returns from hiatus with Michael and Jan hosting a dinner party that’s sure to be as appalling as it is hilarious.

And on Scrubs, Turk learns Spanish to celebrate his and Carla’s anniversay, Dr. Cox plays games with Kelso’s breakfast, and J.D. will probably have a daydream or two. Enjoy it while you can, because NBC won’t be bringing back Scrubs, and there are only a few pre-strike episodes left to air on the network before it presumably makes the jump to ABC.

Bobby Cannavale Cast as the New CUPID

Bobby Cannavale has been cast in the title role in the ABC pilot Cupid, an updated version of Rob Thomas’ 1990s comedy. Cannavale will play Trevor Hale, a manic yet charming man who believes he is the Roman god of love. Jeremy Piven played the role on the original series.

At first glance Cannavale, best known for his roles on Will and Grace and Third Watch, might not seem a winning choice. But movie fans who’ve seen his marvelous turn in The Station Agent know the guy’s got hidden depths worth plumbing, as well as some pretty impeccable comic timing.

No word yet on who will play the Paula Marshall role as Trevor’s therapist.

What’s So Funny ‘Bout Peace, Love, and Understanding? On ALIENS IN AMERICA, Everything.

I admit it: I was one of those people who wrote off Aliens in America immediately. Descriptions of a comedy in which a Midwestern mother tries to pump up her teenage son’s popularity by importing a strapping Aryan exchange student were troublesome enough. The fact that the hook was the brilliant plan being thwarted by a Muslim from Pakistan showing up on her doorstep made me gag a little. I already get weekly e-mails forwarded from people I wish didn’t have my address “informing” me that Barack Obama is a Muslim and therefore can’t be trusted as president (false, on more than one level), or that Muslims like to run trucks over little kids’ arms as punishment (still false). A sitcom that would encourage this kind of thinking by crossing the dusty ethnic joke line from unfunny to blatantly offensive was not something I was willing to watch (and I was more than a little put out with Scott Patterson for being in it).

I was really, really wrong.

The creators of Aliens in America, David Guarascio and Moses Port (Just Shoot Me, Mad About You), should demand cakes and pies of apology from the CW marketing department, because while their show does address issues of race and religion in post-9/11 America–more adroitly than any other network show–those issues are explored in the kind of teenage wasteland that made Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Freaks and Geeks so watchable. The Muslim exchange student is the voice of sanity, aspiration, and tolerance in the materialistic, hypersexualized tornado that is American adolescence.

Perhaps best of all, the discomfort brought about by bigotry and misunderstanding is worked out in the bosom of a tight-knit family of genial nutbars. That mother who ordered up a Scandinavian exchange student (Amy Pietz, of Caroline in the City fame)? She’s also the mom who still wants to dress her son, keeps oranges in the family van for the inevitable moment a drunk teen ralphs in the back seat, and ends up playing Mimi to her teenage son’s Roger in the community theater version of Rent. Scott Patterson‘s (Gilmore Girls) gruff family man is exasperated over his son’s complete disinterest in sports, but still loves the kid enough to find common ground singing “Space Oddity” while trapped in a snowdrift. Lindsey Shaw (Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide) and Adhir Kalyan perfectly embody opposite ends of the teenage cynicism and calculation spectrum. Best of all is Dan Byrd (Clubhouse), an actor apparently willing to go to any lengths to sell a joke, as the center of both worlds, a genial but geeky kid who tries both to manipulate and to avoid the social swirl but is unable to avoid doing the right thing.

This Sunday’s episode is a good example of all of Aliens in America‘s best qualities. Raja convinces the school’s #1 mean girl (and Justin’s long-time crush) that she is worthy of being respected for her brains instead of her looks. The Eliza Doolittle/Henry Higgins/Colonel Pickering triangle works swimmingly until Justin decides working on a science project is the perfect excuse to hit on the newly liberated diva. The episode explores the sexual pressures on teens and differences in cultural approaches to femininity and masculinity, but the best part might be a perfectly delivered throw-away line by Byrd in the lobby of a natural history museum two minutes before the end of the show. In the end, although Justin knows Raja is right about women, about respect, and about being a friend, the biggest laugh of the night comes when he’s right about larvae. Aliens in America is delightful rather than offensive, and it doesn’t need a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down–nothing medicinal ever tasted this good. Jump on the bandwagon this Sunday at 8:30 EDT.

Peabody Awards Honor Truthiness

The Peabody Awards–given each year for excellence in electronic media–have a great track record for honoring quality TV that sometimes isn’t the most visible. Previous honorees include fare as diverse as The Office, Battlestar Galactica, Good Eats, and Viva Blackpool (leading, sadly, to the debacle that was Viva Laughlin). This year’s winners include 30 Rock, Dexter, and Mad Men on the scripted side and Planet Earth, Project Runway, and recent Oscar-winner Taxi to the Dark Side on the non-fiction end of things, as well as excellent news programming (a full list of winners can be found here). Bridging those worlds is an award for The Colbert Report, which I’m sure Stephen will feature tonight in his continuing segment, “Who’s Honoring Me Now?”

Squee! It’s…

Squee! It’s Mae Whitman on an NBC Law and Order: Extra Crispy (Special Victims Unit) rerun tonight!

(Cue chorus: Who?)

You know, Ann. George Michael Bluth’s girlfriend. You’ve met her (on shows such as Grey’s Anatomy, ER, Desperate Housewives, Cold Case, JAG, State of Grace…). She’s got this low center of gravity, you can’t knock her over.

(Cue chorus: Her?)

She was even cast as Jaime Sommers’ sister in the pilot of the remake of Bionic Woman, although they recast the role when it went to series. Which I guess means they printed a retraction in the spring supplement.

Don’t be a little Ann-hog, okay? Check out Mae Whitman in something where she might be a murderer, but at least someone will notice her.

TOP GEAR Runs the Motorhome Grand Prix

I’m really not convinced anything more than that needs to be said. Just in case: Captain Slow races a man in flippers who has to crawl across mud trying to beat an Alfa Romeo. I could not make this stuff up. New (to the US) Top Gear, with all this madness and more, tonight on BBC America.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Marathon Leads into Season 4

If you’ve been waiting to get on the Battlestar bandwagon, now is your chance, and you won’t even have to gum up your Netflix queue to do it. Sci Fi is offering up a week-long marathon of Battlestar Galactica to lead into Friday’s Season 4 premiere (eeeeeee! hooray!). While you won’t get the miniseries that kicks the whole thing off (in short: killer robots break a longstanding peace and obliterate the human race. Sexy killer robots, that is. Old rustbucket of a military spaceship escapes the attack by virtue of not having up-to-date computers that sexy killer robots can take over and starts collecting survivors, leading them to a mythical place known as Earth), you’ll get a good look at some of the best TV that’s aired this decade.

Monday focuses on Season 1, where you will get ruminations on everything from being an occupying force to whether it’s okay to torture a machine to the relationship between polytheism and monotheism (no, really). Tuesday brings part of Season 2, starting with a shattering revelation and ending with an episode that made me wail over one of the Fleet’s small triumphs and the affection they have for the people who have sacrificed to lead them. Wednesday ties up Season 2 and uncovers more of the politics in both the human worlds and the Cylon worlds, with Lucy Lawless and Michelle Forbes dropping by to make life more difficult. Thursday provides the first part of Season 3, and with it questions about the propriety of suicide bombers and biological warfare, more mythology, and some sexy boxing (no, really). Finally, Friday morning brings the last of Season 3, sweeping us straight into the Season 4 premiere that evening (squee! delight!).

So set your DVRs and travel across the galaxy–I’ll be curious to see whose side you end up on. Roslin/Airlock ’08? Lara4Evah? (Or should that be Larbuck?) HACSR (Humans and Cylons Seeking Reconciliation)? That doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what you’ll find in this great show. I was leery once, too–don’t be afraid. There aren’t any tin can dogs. Just awesome TV. Joss loves it–you will too.

Squee! It’s…

Squee! It’s George Michael on Eli Stone tonight. No, really–I know they’ve been using his songs (even naming the episodes after them) and he’s shown up in little cameos, but he’s actually a key character in tonight’s episode, unfortunately titled “I Want Your Sex” (oh, dear–didn’t Mr. Michael earn a pass on that after his hilarious Extras appearance?). He’s got a sense of humor about himself and one of the greatest pop voices ever, which makes him a pretty good match for this show.

Triple chocolate backflip bonus–the promo clips not only feature George Michael but give us Victor Garber singing “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me.” He never did that on Alias. It’s squee overload!

When Worlds Collide: DOLLHOUSE Welcomes BATTLESTAR Alum

I have to admit, I thought it would be difficult for TV Bacon to be any more excited about the prospect of a new Joss Whedon show (hey, it’s not our fault he stalks us at Comic-Con, even when we change hotels). The news that Battlestar Galactica‘s Tahmoh Penikett (Helo) is joining the cast of Dollhouse to star opposite Eliza Dushku might have done the trick. He’ll be joined by Fran Kranz (Donnie Darko connection! Oh, and recently of Welcome to the Captain) in the Nick Brendon/Alexis Denisoff role and Australian actress Dichen Lachman (hey, Neighbours launched Kylie Minogue…). He’ll also be joined by us, because we are so there.