When PSYCH Closes a Pineapple, It Opens a Kiwi

Well, at least that was the case for last week’s giddy send-up of supermodels and buddy flicks–I still can’t find the pineapple, but they did feature the wonderful Melanie Lynskey, a surprise so thorough we didn’t even get a chance to squee her here. While TV aficionados may recognize the New Zealand actress from The Shield, Two and a Half Men or as a new mother running for her freedom in the short-lived Drive, if you’re not familiar with her first movie, Peter Jackson’s Heavenly Creatures, get thee to a video store now. Seriously. What are you still doing here? (It’s Kate Winslet’s first movie, too–go! Run!)

Tonight’s season finale may or may not feature more fruit, but it does provide a nice thematic capper to an earlier episode: old things dug up out of the ground. The second episode of the season, which will kick off a retrospective starting next week on USA, concerned dinosaur bones, dinosaur heads, and dinosaur bites. Tonight? Mummies. Mummies disappearing. Mummies walking when they ought not be. Mummies scaring the living daylights out of Gus (what doesn’t scare the living daylights out of Gus? Besides spelling). When the pop culture pun is right in the title (“Shawn (and Gus) of the Dead”), you know it’s probably going to be a fun night.

Personally, I’m going to keep an eagle eye out to see if the Egyptians buried pineapples with their dead.

Why I Can’t Stop Watching JERICHO

I’m just gonna come right out and say it: Jericho is not a great show. The production values can’t even begin to compare with the lush beauty of a show like Lost. Many of the premises are utterly implausible and the “science” is generally laughable. The directing is sometimes clumsy, the dialogue can be embarrassingly stilted, and the acting occasionally veers into the downright awkward. And yet…

I can’t stop watching it.

The more I see of this little show that could, the more I need to see of it. When I decided to catch up with the series last summer I ended up burning through all 22 episodes in a ravenous frenzy. I couldn’t just watch one episode and then quit; I had to know what came next. (And after the supremely unsatisfying cliffhanger we were left with, it’s no wonder Jericho fans went into a nut-buying furor.)

Despite its flaws (which are many), I am undeniably hooked on the story of this little Kansas town and the brave citizens who populate it in the aftermath of a large-scale nuclear attack. I long to see Jake grow into the leadership vacuum left in the wake of his father’s death. I need to know that Stanley and Mimi are going to carve out a slice of post-apocalyptic happiness. I’m dying to find out what Robert Hawkins does with that nuclear warhead, and whether he’ll be able to expose the shady forces behind the bombings.

Jericho is the television equivalent of a page-turner–one of those books you stay up reading long into the night, not because it’s great literature, but because you simply can’t put it down. But it’s something more than that, too.

There’s a visceral appeal to the story, one that plays on our deep-seated fears–and our secret hopes–for the post-9/11 world in which we’ve found ourselves. As I watched the new flag of the “Allied States of America” raised in front of the town hall on the season two premiere, I felt my guts churn in an instinctive reaction. That flag–with its vertical stripes and its 21 stars–is just plain wrong. And let me tell you, it’s a rare television show that can affect me that strongly.

The very same issues of liberty versus security that confront us abstractly in the headlines are cast in the stark relief of life and death on Jericho, and played out against a rich backdrop of noble sacrifices, unconditional love, and the unwavering instinct to survive. And when it comes right down to it, isn’t that what the best stories are supposed to do?

It’s certainly one of the things that science fiction has always excelled at, and in its re-energized second season Jericho isn’t afraid to let the cultural and political metaphors fly, unsubtle though they be. Sure, the execution is mediocre, but the spirit behind it is reminiscent of the best of old Star Trek and new Battlestar Galactica. Not to mention, that Skeet Ulrich dude really knows how to brood fetchingly.

Okay, so maybe Jericho is a little bit great.

BREAKING BAD: Not Really Better Living Through Chemistry

AMC’s Breaking Bad joins a growing number of cable shows (The Wire, The Sopranos, Rescue Me, The Riches, and Weeds, just to name a few) that seem to challenge the reality of the American dream. Tony Soprano might have the lovely wife and the spacious house, but the price for that is occasionally having to kill friends and family. Cops, teachers, and politicians alike try to do the right thing on The Wire, only to be crushed under by the inexorable weight of powers and institutions bigger than they are. Maybe cable is taking the television place that William Goldman claims independent film holds: network shows give us the world the way we want it to be, while cable shows gives us the world as it really is.

The American Dream has skipped over Breaking Bad‘s Walter White (Bryan Cranston), too. He seems to be living a life of desperation so quiet that his day-to-day existence alone throws the Dream into question. The show asks a pretty pointed question–when a hard-working family man who could never get ahead in the first place is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, why shouldn’t he start using his chemistry skills to cook the best meth in town and leave his family with the nest egg the meritocracy never granted him?

The show gives some pretty pointed answers to that question: start cooking the best meth in town, and you might find yourself being chased by your meth lab in your underwear while trying not to be killed by rival drug dealers. That’s…rough, and the show can be tough to watch. I’m not going to pull any punches here: someone’s getting dissolved by hydrofluoric acid on this show. And pieces of that someone are going to end up on the floor. And…wow. At the same time, human flotsam and jetsam provides both some of the funniest moments in this surprisingly witty show (Walter must dispose of a second rival because, as his addict partner reminds him, “the coin flip is sacred”) and some of the most moving (Walter’s recollection of the chemical components of the body is capped with the question of how the soul fits into that equation).

Vince Gilligan (you might remember him from such wonderful X-files episodes as “Paper Hearts” and “Small Potatoes”) brings all the threads of darkness, wistfulness, and biting humor from his previous work into full relief here. The real treasure, though, is Bryan Cranston, who is brilliant in bringing all of the shades of Walter’s increasing frustration, desperation, and mortification to the screen. AMC is showing a “marathon” of the first three episodes tonight (starting at 8pm EST), so I don’t want to spoil anything for those of you new to the show, but Cranston created more shock and awe more with a single tear in the most recent episode than any other show has created this year. Check out the marathon tonight for some high-quality drama–but eat your dinner beforehand.

Pencils Up!

Great day in the morning, people, the writers strike is well and truly over! The membership of the WGA West and WGA East voted to end the three-month work stoppage today, with the yeas coming in at an overwhelming 92.5%.

“Our membership has voted, and writers can go back to work,” announced WGA West president Patric Verrone at a Beverly Hills press conference.

The next step is for WGAW and WGAE members to ratify the tentative deal negotiators reached with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers. The membership ratification vote will be conducted by mail and at membership meetings on Feb. 25.

Picking Up the Pieces: What’s Left of the TV Season?

Assuming the outcome of today’s WGA vote is positive, we’re only hours away from an end to the strike. So, in the immortal words of President Josiah Bartlet, “What’s next?”

A number of showrunners have already gone back work, making plans for the remainder of the season and scrambling to figure out how many episodes they can throw together. The networks, meanwhile, are making their own lists, deciding which shows will go on the block and which ones will live to fight another day. ABC got the ball rolling today, announcing nine pickups for next season, and the other networks are expected to follow suit in the coming days.

To try and help you make sense of all of this, I’ve scoured the trades and entertainment sites and come up with a (mostly) comprehensive list of what’s coming, what’s going, and what’s gotten stuck in limbo. Of course, a lot of this is still just speculation right now, and all of it is subject to change. But I’ll keep updating as new information becomes available, so check back for the latest–shows with new or updated information will be marked with an asterisk (*).

24 (FOX) – Jack Bauer’s seventh season has been completely torpedoed by the strike and will most likely be postponed until January 2009. Yeah, you read that right–2009.

* 30 ROCK (NBC) – Look for Liz Lemon and crew to return in on April 10. NBC is hoping to produce five additional episodes this season, depending on the availability of Alec Baldwin, who’s scheduled to start work on a feature film.

ALIENS IN AMERICA (CW) – Eight pre-strike episodes (bringing the season total to a respectable 18) will air starting March 2, but no more will be produced this season. The show is still considered to be in contention for renewal next season, though.

* ARMY WIVES (LIFETIME) – A mini-season is planned to air in June, with a full second season premiering in December.

* BACK TO YOU (FOX) – Will return Feb. 26 with three pre-strike episodes followed by eight additional episodes.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (SCI FI) – Season four will debut April 2, with the first 11 of the show’s final 20 episodes already in the can. Production on the second half of the season may resume in March, but it’s unknown exactly when they’ll air.

* THE BIG BANG THEORY (CBS) – Will return on March 17 for the first of nine new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

BIG LOVE (HBO) – Production on season three begins in March, and the premiere date will most likely be pushed back to the end of the year.

BIG SHOTS (ABC) – It’s unlikely we’ll be subjected to any more episodes of this testosterone-laden flop. Hurrah!

BIONIC WOMAN (NBC) – Say goodbye to this expensive disappointment, which won’t resume production and won’t be back next year. RIP Jaime Sommers.

* BONES (FOX) – Will return with four pre-strike episodes on April 14, and may produce 2-6 additional episodes, although the airdate for those is still undetermined.

* BOSTON LEGAL (ABC) – Two pre-strike episodes remain and eight more are already slated for production. The series is expected be one of the first dramas to resume shooting post-strike and given Kelley’s notoriously quick turnaround time it looks like they might actually complete their entire 22-episode order. But the legal drama wasn’t included on ABC’s list of pickups for 2008-09, so this season may be the last.

BROTHERS & SISTERS (ABC) – One pre-strike episode remains and 4-5 more episodes are expected to be produced for airing in April and May. The series has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

BURN NOTICE (USA) – Production on season two is expected to start in late April, with new episodes airing this summer.

* CANE (CBS) – No new episodes will be produced this season and it wasn’t included on a recent list of pickups for 2008-09, so the future is looking dim for this stinky soap.

CANTERBURY’S LAW (FOX) – This Julianna Margulies vehicle from the producers of Rescue Me will premiere April 14 for a six-episode run.

* CHUCK (NBC) – The bad news is that the good folks at the Buy More won’t be back this season. The good news is that they will be back–NBC has ordered 13 episodes for 2008-09.

THE CLOSER (TNT) – Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson should return for her fourth season in June, about three weeks later than originally planned.

* COLD CASE (CBS) – Will return on March 30 with five new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* CRIMINAL MINDS (CBS) – Will return on April 2 with seven new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* CSI (CBS) – Will return on April 3 with six new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* CSI: MIAMI (CBS) – Will return on March 24 with eight new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* CSI: NEW YORK (CBS) – Will return on April 2 with seven new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (ABC) – Expected to return in April with 4-7 new episodes. The ladies of Wisteria Lane have also been picked up for a fifth season.

DIRT (FX) – Returns for a seven-episode sophomore season on March 2.

DIRTY SEXY MONEY (ABC) – Three pre-strike episodes have yet to air, but don’t expect to see them until the Darling family returns to ABC’s schedule next fall.

ENTOURAGE (HBO) – The new season has been pushed back to fall, rather than the summer return originally planned.

* E.R. (NBC) – Yes, this fossil will actually be coming back on April 10 with six new episodes. And the network is reportedly in negotiations to bring the dang thing back for yet another season. Will it ever die?

EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS (CW) – Will return March 2 with 12 pre-strike episodes to bring the season total to 22. Still in contention for renewal next season.

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS (NBC) – Last week’s episode may very well be the last we’ll see of the mighty Dillon Panthers, as the forecast is grim for this critical darling (which has been on Ben Silverman’s hit list all season). Apparently clear eyes and full hearts can lose. No less than three different fan ventures have been launched in an attempt to save the show–one involves sending mini footballs to NBC, another is sending light bulbs, and a third group is sending Clear Eyes eye drops. So clever, those fans.

* THE GAME (CW) – Will return on March 23 with nine new episodes.

GIRLFRIENDS (CW) – This long-running series was expected to end after this season and it’s unlikely any new episodes will be produced, but the CW is reportedly working with the show’s producers to bring some closure with a retrospective or clip show of some kind.

* GHOST WHISPERER (CBS) – Will return on April 4 with six new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* GOSSIP GIRL (CW) – Will return on April 21 with five new episodes. It’s also rumored the network may expand its order and bring the series back over the summer.

GREY’S ANATOMY (ABC) – Expected to return in April with 4-7 new episodes. And yes, the docs at Seattle Grace will be back for a fifth season.

HEROES (NBC) – Won’t be back until the series returns with 22+ episodes next season.

* HOUSE (FOX) – Our favorite cranky doc won’t be back until late April or early May, but Fox may extend the current season into summer. David Shore says the storyline originally planned for the second half of the season will most likely be thrown out altogether.

* HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (CBS) – Will return on March 17 with nine new episodes. The comedy wasn’t included on a recent list of pickups for 2008-09, but sources say it still has a good chance of renewal.

JERICHO (CBS) – Returns tonight with the first of seven new episodes (and in case you’re looking to jump in, EW has a handy cheat sheet to catch you up). No more episodes are expected to be produced this season, and as for next season… well, I guess it depends on the ratings tonight.

LAS VEGAS (NBC) – Two pre-strike episodes remain, but no more are expected this season. The show’s fate next season is uncertain.

* LAW & ORDER (NBC) – Will be back on April 23 with seven pre-strike episodes. It’s unclear how many additional episodes will be produced this season.

* LAW & ORDER: SVU (NBC) – Will return on April 15 with 4-6 new episodes.

LIFE (NBC) – Won’t be back this season, NBC has ordered 13 episodes for 2008-09 and plans to give the struggling show a proper relaunch. Let’s hope people actually start watching.

LIFE IS WILD (CW) – I’ve never even heard of this show, but apparently it’s a moot point now, as it’s not expected to return. Ever.

* LOST (ABC) – Six pre-strike episodes remain and five more will be produced in order to finish out the fourth season properly. That’ll make for a 13-episode season–three short of the 16 originally planned. Carlton Cuse says he hopes to incorporate the three “missing” episodes further down the line somehow. He also predicts there will be a four-week gap between the airdate of the last pre-strike episode and the first post-strike episode, rather than the uninterrupted season they were hoping for.

* MEDIUM (NBC) – Six pre-strike episodes remain in its current run and seven more are expected to be produced this season.

MEN IN TREES (ABC) – Will return Feb. 27 with 11 pre-strike episodes, but the series was not among ABC’s pickups for next season.

* MOONLIGHT (CBS) – Will return on April 11 with four new episodes. The vampire drama wasn’t included on a recent list of pickups for 2008-09 so its future is still up in the air.

* MY NAME IS EARL (NBC) – Earl Hickey will be back on April 3 with an hour-long episode, the first of 8-9 new episodes to be produced.

* NCIS (CBS) – Will return on April 7 with seven new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE (CBS) – Six pre-strike episodes remain, but CBS is reportedly waiting to see how it performs before deciding whether to produce any more. The comedy also was left off a recent list of pickups for 2008-09, casting more doubt on its future.

NEW AMSTERDAM (NBC) – This mid-season drama will premiere March 4 for an 8-episode run.

NIP/TUCK (FX) – Will complete its fifth season on Feb. 19. Production is expected to resume on season six this summer.

* NUMB3RS (CBS) – Will return on April 4 with six new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

OCTOBER ROAD (ABC) – Four pre-strike episodes remain, but the series was not among ABC’s pickups for next season.

* THE OFFICE (NBC) – Expect to see our favorite Dunder Mifflin employees back at work on April 10. Greg Daniels has confirmed that they’ll be producing six new episodes, though they “might be able to squeeze in seven if NBC asks for them.” The first episode will be “The Dinner Party,” a script that was about to start shooting when the strike interrupted production. Another pre-strike script, this one for the annual Christmas episode, will likely be tossed. The writing team is meeting this week to decide how to advance the show’s storylines, but Daniels says he’s “tempted to just leap ahead to where we would have been.” What I want to know is how they’re going to deal with Angela Kinsey’s baby belly.

* ONE TREE HILL (CW) – Six pre-strike episodes remain and six more will be produced this season.

PRISON BREAK (FOX) – About to complete its scheduled 13-episode season. The future of the series beyond that is unknown.

* PRIVATE PRACTICE (ABC) – Won’t be back this season, but has been given a 13-episode order for 2008-09.

PUSHING DAISIES (ABC) – Won’t return until the fall. But we can rest easy in the knowledge that our favorite piemaker will definitely be back.

QUARTERLIFE (NBC) – Will premiere Feb. 26 for a 6-episode run.

* REAPER (CW) – Will return March 13 with three pre-strike episodes, and five more have been ordered for this season.

* THE RETURN OF JEZEBEL JAMES (FOX) – Instead of the previously planned post-Idol preview on March 12, the mid-season comedy will debut with a one-hour premiere on March 14.

THE RICHES (FX) – Season two, which has been downsized from 13 to seven episodes, will premiere March 18.

* THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT (CBS) – Expected to return on April 14 with six new episodes. The comedy wasn’t included on a recent list of pickups for 2008-09 so its future is still up in the air.

SAMANTHA WHO? (ABC) – Three pre-strike episodes remain and are expected to air in the spring, along with several new episodes, in the post-Dancing with the Stars time slot. The series has also been picked up for 2008-09.

* SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (NBC) – Will be back on the air Feb. 23 with host Tina Fey. SNL plans to push out four straight weeks of shows (Juno‘s Ellen Page has committed to host on March 1), a tall order for the live series, which rarely goes more than three weeks in row without a break. NBC is keen to catch up on all the ripe political fodder that’s gone un-lampooned during the strike. Maybe now we’ll all finally be able to stop watching that Sarah Silverman/Matt Damon video.

* SAVING GRACE (TNT) – The series is expected to return in June, about three weeks later than originally planned.

* SCRUBS (NBC) – The docs at Sacred Heart will be back on April 10 with four pre-strike episodes. The real question is whether NBC will let Bill Lawrence make the 3-5 additional episodes he needs to give the series a proper send off in its last season. If not, there’s a chance that ABC/Disney will let him produce them for the DVDs. We’re keeping our fingers crossed.

* SHARK (CBS) – Things are looking up for this series–CBS has ordered four more episodes this season, which may bode well for its chances for renewal.

* SMALLVILLE (CW) – Four pre-strike episodes remain and five more have been ordered for this season.

* SUPERNATURAL (CW) – Two pre-strike episodes remain and four more have been ordered for this season.

SWINGTOWN (CBS) – Only a couple of episodes of this mid-season drama have been produced and CBS is still deciding what to do with it.

TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES (FOX) – Four pre-strike episodes remain. What happens after that is still up in the air.

* TWO AND A HALF MEN (CBS) – Will return on March 17 with nine new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

UGLY BETTY (ABC) – Expected to return in April with 4-7 new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* THE UNIT (CBS) – No new episodes are slated to be produced this season and it wasn’t included on a recent list of pickups for 2008-09, so its future chances are looking thin.

* WITHOUT A TRACE (CBS) – Will return on April 3 with six new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

WOMEN’S MURDER CLUB (ABC) – It’s looking like it may be the axe for this newcomer.

MAD MEN Happier After Taking WGA Award

As were drug dealers, mafiosos, and officials at Dunder-Mifflin and the Sheinhardt Wig Company.

Hard on the heels of the announcement that a settlement on the strike may have been reached, the Writers’ Guild of America handed out their annual awards. They said goodbye to The Sopranos with a prize for best episodic drama and hello to Mad Men with a nod for best new series.

See complete television winners behind the cut…

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Impresses the Visual Effects Society

At their ceremony in Hollywood last night, the Visual Effects Society announced that Battlestar Galactica won the award for epic badassery. Or, more accurately, for effects in a broadcast miniseries, movie, or special for the recent “Razor” special. Awards were also presented for effects, supporting effects, and created environments in other television programming.

See all of the television winners under the cut…

Forecast Sunny for Strike Resolution

This time it’s really real. The WGA has in fact reached a tentative settlement with the AMPTP, which means the end of the strike is potentially only days away. Before everyone can go back to work, though, the guild membership has to vote to lift the strike. And although the referendum is expected to pass, we won’t know for sure until the votes are counted Tuesday night. But come Wednesday morning, there’s a good chance that Hollywood may be back in business.

So what does this mean for the current TV season and the fate of our favorite shows? It may not be too late to save at least some of the 2007-08 season. Expect some top-rated series to jump into hyperdrive in order to rush new episodes onto the air for spring. Others may choose to allow their season to bleed over into summer. Still others, including many expensive one-hours, highly serialized shows, and those on the bubble, may not be back until next season.

Why Won’t America Watch FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS The Way It Was Meant To Be Played?

Last night’s episode of Friday Night Lights caps an inferior and incomplete (perhaps forever) second season in which more and more unlikely circumstances drove what had been a nuanced and tender look at small-town life farther into the arms of soapy improbabilities. Starting with Landry and Tyra’s misadventures in murder and extending to Riggins’ missteps with meth dealers, the season careened as drunkenly toward disaster as Matt Saracen after being dumped by his Mexican nanny (TM Landry Clarke).

“May The Best Man Win” did nothing to halt this trend, from a scenery-chewing turn by executive producer Peter Berg as Tami’s long-lost ex-boyfriend rolling into town to goad Coach Taylor into jousting over his woman’s honor to Lyla’s Christian radio station deciding that letting Tim Riggins host a sports call-in show is a bright idea. And that doesn’t even touch on the more ludicrous plot points, such as Jason’s one-night stand showing up pregnant (will we perhaps someday discover that the pregnant woman is actually the one-night stand’s…twin sister?!?) or Smash being unable to find a football home after his assault charge. A player of Smash’s caliber being unable to get his mitts on a football scholarship? Please–if TMU had given him up (and they never, ever would) the Alabama recruiter would have been standing next to the mailbox to hand Smash the letter opener he could use to get the news.

Why, why, why has FNL taken such a turn for the silly and overdramatic? Likely because NBC head Ben Silverman is unlikely to champion its return–so it will have to save itself by increasing ratings. Season 1’s, which were hovering between 5 and 6.5 million by the finale, are simply not going to cut it. Disappointing as it may be, then, it’s understandable if the producers decided to serve up something flashier in the hopes of gaining an audience–after all, quality shows like Veronica Mars that had network heads as their champions couldn’t overcome poor ratings in the end, so a show that doesn’t have the honchos on its side might have to hold its nose and yell a little louder.

Unfortunately, Season 2’s ratings are no better. While they might ultimately be viewed as a slight improvement since the show is now airing on the graveyard that is Friday night, FNL still regularly loses to fare such as Moonlight, Women’s Murder Club, and two-year-old episodes of House. If the show is going to get the axe anyway, it’s too bad it joins Veronica Mars in going out on a low note while experimenting for its own survival. But it brings up a question that isn’t going anywhere–why can’t shows with subtle, well-drawn character interactions or complicated, juicy arcs get and hold a large enough audience to survive?

Could Our Long Cathode Ray Nightmare Be Over?

Oh, that it would be so. With the WGA bargaining committee reaching a tentative agreement with the AMPTP, we might be seeing the beginning of the end of the writers’ strike that has brought Hollywood to its knees. There’s still quite a bit of discussion about the terms of the deal, whether they’ll be acceptable the the WGA membership as a whole, and whether a formal vote needs to be held before writers return to work (a discussion that is both interesting and civil, so check it out). While we admit to being dismayed when we check our TiVos and see nothing but Countdown with Keith Olbermann and reruns of Ninja Warrior (woman cannot live on Keith and Shingo alone), our most fervent hopes are that this agreement is a fair one for the writers and that the details of resolution are fairly and appropriately handled so that everyone involved, including below-the-line crew and support staff, can get back to work.

Fingers crossed, everybody.