BETTER OFF TED “Heroes”: Yum.


Bless your little heart, Better Off Ted–you are likely not long for this world. Which is a shame, because we are enjoying your dry wit (and appreciating how you’ve cut back on Ted talking straight to the camera). There’s a good deal of wisdom here, such as translating time into creamer-based units of measurement, or the idea that you should not name the affront-to-God food you’re growing in a lab or you won’t want to eat it later. The greatest wisdom, however, is in valuing the relationships forged in the hell that is the corporate world. The attempt to split up Lenny and Carl…I’m sorry, the research team of Lem and Phil reminds us of why we keep crappy jobs: the paycheck. Oh, and the fact that our co-workers are the people we spend most of our time with, the people we share our secrets with, our postmodern family. And that postmodern family is sitting down to a dinner of cowlessmeatgrowninalabloaf that tastes like despair and cold mac and cheese that makes you blind.

What we might miss most, however, are the opening commercials for Ted’s company, Veridian Dynamics, that open the show. Reminiscent of real plastics and chemical companies trying to convince consumers they’re not destroying the environment and our genetic code, each has been a little gem of passive-aggressive sarcasm.

From the pilot: “Veridian Dynamics: Every day, something we make makes your life better. Power. We make that. Technology. We make that. Cows. Well, no, we don’t make cows. Although we have made a sheep. And medicinces. And airplane engines. And whatever this is. And all sorts of things. Veridian Dynamics. Every day, something we make makes your life better. Usually. Veridian Dynamics. Life. Better.”

From this week’s episode: “Veridian Dynamics. We’re the future of food. Developing the next generation of food and foodlike products. Tomatoes…the size of this baby. Lemon-flavored fish. Chickens that lay 16 eggs a day. Which is a lot for a chicken. Organic vegetables chock-full of antidepressants. At Veridian Dynamics, we can even make radishes so spicy that people can’t eat them. But we’re not. Because people can’t eat them. Veridian Dynamics. Food. Yum.”

Veridian Dynamics commercials. Snark. Yum.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s