So…the opening shot of Lost + the lesser Pirates of the Caribbean movies/Xena: Warrior Princess=Crusoe. Yikes. I’m not a drinker, but I’m going to have to take a cue from the pirates and echo Captain Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone? Because I’m going to need all of the rum in the world to sit through any more of this. Or a great deal more Sean Bean, who has a similar effect.