It’s Swagalicious

Which would make it t-to-the-a-to-the-st*y*, Fergie.

It was so incredibly cold here yesterday that the power grid couldn’t handle it. While this may not seem terribly Baconian, given that it obviously cut me off from the beloved TV, it was an eye-opening trip into how much television and its component tie-ins are integrated into my day-to-day life. After using the Scooby Doo flashlight keyring my brother received for Christmas a couple of years ago to stumble my way down the stairs, I was faced with the reality of having no non-electric alarm clock to make sure I was up for the absolutely-have-to-be-there meeting early the next day.

My first strategy, then, was to stay awake until the power came back on and the alarm clock could be restored. Luckily for me, I had handy-dandy Doctor Who podcasts on my MP3 player so Russell T. Davies’ dulcet tones could keep me company during my dark night of the soul (why are they wearing party hats, anyway?). This worked swimmingly, although blearily, until I realized my trusty Venture Brothers two-way wrist communicator watch has an alarm function. (And, yes, I did belatedly realize that my cell phone can do that kind of thing, too.) My life is permeated–could even have been saved, had the power never come back on and I’d had to burn the West Wing Script Book for warmth when the double-layered Aqua Teen Hunger Force socks weren’t cutting it anymore–with television stuff that isn’t TV at all, but is instead toys, books, home decor–you name it.

What, then, is the greatest piece of take-home TV swag in history? In this very moment, I am leaning toward the giant Homer Simpson Pez dispenser, but since it doesn’t actually dispense giant Pez, I could be persuaded otherwise.


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