Holiday TV Viewing Guide (Dec. 22-25)

As we hurl down the homestretch towards Christmas, we’ve got holiday television practically coming out of ears over the next few days. In addition to all those beloved holiday movies (which are not the purview of this web site), we’ve got more holiday TV marathons on ABC Family, TV Land, Lifetime, Cartoon Network, FX and TNT (not to mention the annual 24 hours of A Christmas Story on TBS). Below is just a sampling of the best offerings.

And if you missed anything from our previous Holiday Viewing Guides, don’t despair, a lot of that programming will be rerun (and rerun, and rerun) over the next couple of days, so check your local listings.

— SATURDAY, DEC. 22 —

7:00 AM
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: “Amends”
FX

Visions haunt Angel as an unnamed Evil rises to power, but a snowy Christmas Eve miracle gives hope to all of the Scooby gang in this touching tale of redemption. Do not suspect the end of this episode makes me cry. Every. Single. Time.

1:00 PM
Malcolm in the Middle: “Christmas”
FX

When Malcolm and his brothers destroy the Christmas tree ornaments, Lois threatens to cancel Christmas unless the boys behave perfectly until Christmas Day.

2:00 PM
King of the Hill:”The Unbearable Blindness of Laying”
FX

Nothing says holidays like a visit from the relatives. Hank’s mother arrives for Christmas with her Jewish fiance in tow and Hank goes blind when he walks in on them having sex.

— SUNDAY, DEC. 23 —

8:00 AM
Hollywood’s 10 Best: “Holiday Movies”
BIO

The Biography Channel counts down favorite Christmas films.

7:00 PM
The Simpsons: “Kill Gil, Vol. 1 & 2”
FOX

Homer gets into a brawl at a holiday ice-skating show and Gil accidentally gives away a gift meant for his boss’s daughter.

— MONDAY, DEC. 24 —

4:00 AM
Happy Days: “Guess Who’s Coming to Christmas”
WGN

Howard wants a family-only Christmas, leaving Fonzie to spend the holiday alone eating ravioli out of a can. Come on, who wouldn’t want to spend Christmas with the Fonz?

9:00 AM
Biography: “Santa Claus”
BIO

Biography tackles the jolly fat man himself, tracing the Santa Claus legend back to its origins.

10:00 AM
ER: “Do You See What I See?”
TNT

This season four gem in which Carter’s grandmother (played by the ever-delightful Frances Sternhagen) visits the clinic kicks off an all-day marathon of ER’s Christmas episodes.

10:30 AM
Frasier: “High Holidays”
LIFE

Frasier is shocked when Frederick comes to visit sporting his new goth look. Meanwhile, realizing that he never rebelled in his adolescence, Niles decides to try marijuana. Hijinks ensue.

11:00 AM
Will & Grace: “A Little Christmas Queer”
LIFE

Jack helps Will’s clearly gay ten-year-old nephew organize and perform a Christmas show.

8:00 PM
How I Met Your Mother: “How Lily Stole Christmas”
CBS

Harsh words between Ted and Lily nearly ruin the gang’s Christmas.

how_lily_stole_christmas.jpg

— TUESDAY, DEC. 25 —

12:30 AM
Robot Chicken: “Robot Chicken’s Half-Assed Christmas Special”
TOON

Robot Chicken destroys all your fondest memories of Peanuts, Narnia and Rudolph.

12:30 AM
Night Court: “Santa Goes Downtown”
TVLAND

Harry tries a man in a Santa Claus suit and Michael J. Fox guest stars as a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.

1:30 AM
Aqua Teen Hungerforce: “Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From the Future”
TOON

A robot fills Carl’s house and pool with blood. Yeah, one of my relatives did that last Christmas.

aquateenchristmas.jpg

2:00 AM
The X-Files: “How the Ghosts Stole Christmas”
TNT

Mulder convinces Scully to help him stake out a haunted house. Ed Asner and Lily Tomlin are delightful as the eponymous ghosts.

3:00 AM
Wings: “A Terminal Christmas”
TV LAND

Helen, Brian and Joe crash Faye’s Christmas party.

7:30 AM
The Addams Family: “Christmas With the Addams Family”
TV LAND

Fester dresses up like Santa and gets stuck in the chimney.

9:00 AM
The Brady Bunch: “The Voice of Christmas”
TV LAND

Carol may not be able to sing at Christmas. Seriously? That’s all they’ve got to worry about? Sheesh.

9:00 AM
The Golden Girls: “‘Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas”
Lifetime

A lonely Santa takes the roommates hostage. I’m guessing he gets more trouble than he bargained for.

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