BIONIC WOMAN: Science Is Scary!

Bionic Woman

If you’re a girl, that is. Unless you’re Asian. Asian girls are good at science! So are girls who wear glasses, and that’s double-plus-true if they are Asian girls who wear glasses. Girls whose bodies are full of science still find science scary.

Although the above was the primary lesson I gleaned from last night’s episode, “The Education of Jaime Sommers,” it is possible I finally cracked the code to understanding this show. Jaime Sommers is being educated, but not in our universe. She actually exists in some parallel universe, and her reality is not our reality. Her sister? Is actually Schrodinger’s Cat, as she does not in fact exist in a single state anywhere in the story unless we are looking right at her. She’s a quantum cat, people! Alternate universe TAs can slip answers to attractive new students and then slip her, um, other things later, because such behavior is totally appropriate here at Parallel Universe U. In this other reality, it would make sense for a super secret agency to ask their spy to assume a British identity and accent just because. Perhaps most important, alternate universe bionic women have no emotional reaction to seeing brain implants acting out the Imperius Curse, because people in alternate universes are not interested in character growth or emotional arcs. If we watch the show as Bizarro Bionic, maybe it will be more entertaining.

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