To Be Competent Or Not To Be Competent: NBC’s Loveable Comedy Losers Take On Fox’s Intrepid Investigators

It’s the first huge night of the new fall season, with season premieres of several returning shows and the bow of a notable newbie. Hope you’ve got a quad-tuner DVR, because there’s a lot to see tonight. All times listed below are Eastern and Pacific, so if you’re like me and don’t actually trip the light fantastic in LA or NYC, count on your TiVo to help you add or subtract an hour. The TiVo is smarter than we are anyway.

You could tune in to the loveable losers on NBC’s strongest night, where even the characters who manage to do something right usually spiral gently downwards. Uneven Amy Poehler vehicle Parks and Recreation, where the failures occur regularly and have yet to be terribly funny, returns at 8:30. It’s followed at 9pm by its much more successful sibling, The Office, which promises an episode in which Michael causes an awkward situation that is resolved by Pam saving the day. Isn’t that essentially every episode of The Office? Doesn’t matter–with characters so engaging and writing so dry, we’re willing to go along for the same ride a few times. The Office is followed immediately by the debut of Community, a comedy in a similar single-camera, vertias vein, starring the delightfully snarky Joel McHale (The Soup) as an attorney whose license is pulled until he gets a real college degree. In addition to being in the middle of a promising set-up, McHale is supported by luminaries ranging from The Daily Show‘s John Oliver to Ken Jeong (Party Down, Role Models) and the legendary Chevy Chase. Here’s hoping the earn an A+.

If the cavalcade of failure gets you down, you might prefer the return of the ultra-competent investigators on Fox. Many Bones fans (8pm) seem to be hoping that the show actually returns to competently solving mysteries after an odd detour into tumor-induced hallucinations. While the creators have promised more of the budding Booth-Brennan romance (pushed along by guest star Cyndi Lauper!), if you want to get your geek on this show has one of the highest science-to-silliness ratios on TV. Things get more serious with the return of the rejuvenated Fringe at 9pm. We weren’t terribly convinced by early Fringe episodes, but the show hit a groove later in the season and had fun, juicy cliffhangers. It might be difficult to keep the various timelines untangled, but both Joshua Jackson and Anna Torv have improved, making acceptable foils for John Noble‘s inspired wackiness.

If FBI agents aren’t your thing, you might check out a new season of Survivor (8pm on CBS), which moves to Samoa. I personally don’t think of Samoa as “off-road” enough for Survivor’s needs, but I suppose they could find a mile of isolated beach somewhere and limit their adventures to that. And the castaways tend to be neatly divided between loserdom and competence, so you can get it all in one classic reality show. Finally, you could always check out the Brothers Winchester on a new Supernatural. They’re pretty darned competent, considering their job is dispatching demons and other things that go bump in the night, but they do tend to suffer a bit from the Peter Principle. Snuff a demon, release Lucifer into the world–who knew that could happen? You can catch Supernatural on the CW at 9pm, putting it right up against The Office, Community, and Fringe. Be kind to your fine feathered DVR–you’re gonna need it.

Tuesday Night Showdown: Network Calcification

Although the fall development season was truncated by the writers’ strike, leading to fewer new shows this fall than in previous years, the networks in their infinite wisdom have decided to put three of their shiny new offerings up against one another. Interestingly, each of these new shows is a pretty good representation of the parent network:

Fox seems to have three modes: Sunday night animation, cheap (in all meanings of the word) reality programming, and action-packed dramas that are swamped under by increasingly convoluted mythologies. Joining its Monday night siblings (Prison Break and The Sarah Connor Chronicles), Fringe has unfathomable consipiracies and dark corners. If that sounds like your gig, Fox is home for you.

CBS cranks out traditional middlebrow comedies and interchangable procedurals. The Mentalist slots right into that lineup, using a team of mildly quirky but definitely pretty people to hunt down increasingly baroque murderers. While the fake psychic schtick has been done with more zest elsewhere (if you find star Simon Baker even remotely appealing, your mileage may vary on that point), The Mentalist is the kind of disposable, unchallenging detective show that makes up the bulk of CBS’s considerable bread and butter. If you want to come home, put on some slippers, be mildly distracted from the real world for a couple of hours, and then shuffle off to bed with nothing on your mind, the CBS lineup is for you.

The CW, on the other hand, targets a demographic more interested in stilettos than slippers, focusing on the very young, very attractive, and very rich. They have not one but two reality shows set in the fashion world, and not one but three shows about super-wealthy teenagers. The best of these is Privileged, which we have subtitled Rory Gilmore Faces Her Future. Imagine a world where Rory can’t make it in journalism and is shoehorned into a job tutoring twin granddaughters of a society matron. Now imagine that one of the twins in Paris and one is Lane (both with fancier clothes). Privileged is what it is–it’s on the CW for a reason–but it’s sharply executed and manages to carve endearing characters out of a slab of cliche, which is more than you can say for the competition. If you’re looking for escapist fantasy where everyone wears amazing clothes and always has a witty retort, the CW has just the show for you. Of the three, this is the one we’ll tune to.

Of course, you could always turn to ABC and NBC’s chestnuts, Dancing with the Stars and The Biggest Loser. Just don’t tell us if you do.

FRINGE “The Same Old Story”: Oof, You’ve Got That Right

Was the second episode of Fringe better than the pilot? Well…I guess so. The writing for Joshua Jackson’s Peter Bishop wasn’t nearly so abysmal, allowing for the show’s one really interesting relationship (between Peter and his mad scientist father [John Noble]) to take on some added depth and poignancy. Although she didn’t have as much to do this week, at least the cow stuck around.

Aside from that, there’s just a disappointing amount of either sizzle or steak in Fringe. We’ve seen investigations before. We’ve seen interrogations of obviously lying suspects before. We’ve seen government conspiracies before and questionable science before (from co-creator Abrams, no less). We’ve seen budding romantic tension between leads before. If a show is going to go down such worn roads it’s going to have to execute almost perfectly, and the execution of Fringe has yet to create anything special.

This is perhaps most disappointing when it comes to atmosphere. We’ve seen creepy atmosphere before, and Fringe just isn’t very scary. It is occasionally yucky (thanks so much for the hanging eyeball), but it lacks the goosebump factor. With the exception of Dunham’s unsettling daydream backed by giant tulips, the way the show was imagined and shot didn’t add anything to a story that would have been bargain bin X-Files, Supernatural, or Smallville material.

We’ve compared Fringe to The X-Files before, and nowhere was this more apparent than in “The Same Old Story”‘s denouement. Walter Bishop and cronies once tried to invent super-soldiers by creating embryos that could age to maturity within three years, but they could never figure out how to turn off the aging. A serial killer who steals pituitary glands–a case on which Dunham just happened to work in the past, of course–turns out to be one of these experiments, ingesting the glands to prevent rapid aging (don’t ask). Our heroes stop the bad guys in the middle of an extraction, chasing the weird guy through a darkened warehouse before he can suck down his latest pituitary. As the villain sinks to the ground, the only light bulb in the entire place begins to sway, coming closer and closer to revealing his face as he spends his last moments on Earth helpfully filling in plot holes. Each swing of the light bulb is meant to build tension, but we already know what’s happening: [swing] He’s old. [swing] Yes, we know–he’s old. [swing] We get it–he didn’t get the pituitary, so his aging sped up. [swing] Oh, for the love of John Bartley! He’s going to be old! Get on with it! Old-school X-Files may not have had any money to show its scary stuff, but it found a way to make its atmosphere the scariest thing on TV, just by turning out the lights. On Fringe, they play with the lights as an excuse to let the villain dump a bunch of exposition so the investigation won’t go past the 43-minute mark. If Fringe doesn’t find a way to do something fresh–or at least make something old creepy–we might be changing the channel to be scared by rich teenagers on Privileged.

FRINGE: So, Pacey is Scully…

I’ve been burned by J.J. Abrams before. The pilot of Alias was a hoot, but the series fell into the realm of the ludicrous by the end of the first season. The pilot of Lost was so much fun I spent my flight the next day imagining who would help me stitch up our fellow passengers and who we would eat, but the show has been a roller coaster ride since (thank goodness last season was an up). I’m not sure what this means for Fringe–since the pilot was a little slow and derivative, will it be in the toilet by the end of the year, or will it have room, free of hype and expectations, to breathe?

The show gets off to an eyebrow-raising start, not because of the airline passengers (here we go again) whose faces are melting off, but because it is so very reminiscent of its superior progenitor, The X-Files. They even use a handprint in the credits and break out the super-powered flashlights. This time around, the troubled FBI agent who believes in the possibilities of the impossible is a woman (newcomer Anna Torv, who, depending on the lighting, looks either like Cate Blanchett or Laura Prepon). The science-genius skeptic is a man in this version, and a gambling addict to boot (Joshua Jackson). The superscientist (and the skeptic’s father) who provides the key insights to their cases was driven mad by his forays into fringe science, meaning Mulder and Scul…er, Dunham and Bishop have to babysit the over-the-edge combination of Frohike, Byers, and Langley. Their version of Assistant Director Skinner might actually be the Cigarette Smoking Man (Lance Reddick of Lost and The Wire). Their version of The Syndicate is a super-corporation run by a woman with a robotic arm. And they revealed their Krycek awfully early in the game.

Also, there is a cow.

The best part (aside from the cow) is John Noble‘s (The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King) nutty professor. While the pilot had nice production values and an Abrams-esque twist, it lacked humor aside from Noble’s attempts to interact with the world outside his mental institution. While Jackson was woeful in this episode, perhaps suggesting he is miscast, he did have some truly atrocious dialogue to sell. If the writing for his character settles in, the relationship between Dunham!Mulder and Bishop!Scully might rise to be nearly as interesting as the senior Bishop’s tenuous hold on reality. They shot frighteningly high right from the top, though–it took even the notoriously reckless Mulder four full seasons to undergo experimental craziness to access untapped regions of his brain. Dunham went for it in the pilot. Where can you go from there?

Still, we have such a soft spot for The X-Files (and for Abrams, who weaves a fun yarn and looks like he could shop in the juniors section) that we’re willing to see where this ride takes us, at least for a while. If the cow turns out to be Dunham’s long-lost sister, however, we’re gone.

Guide to September 2008 Series Premieres

September is nearly upon us and that can mean only one thing–the busiest month of the year for new television programming. Well, it’s not quite as busy as usual thanks to the writers strike, but we’ve still got a good number of new shows debuting in the coming weeks. So many, in fact, that’s it’s hard to keep them all straight. So to help you navigate the maze we’ve prepared a guide to all the new shows premiering this month.

RAISING THE BAR (TNT)
Premieres: Monday, Sept. 1 at 10 p.m.
Time slot: Mondays at 10 p.m.
This series from Steven Bochco follows the lives and cases of young lawyers who have been friends since law school but now work on opposing sides. Mark-Paul Gosselaar (NYPD Blue), Gloria Reuben (ER), and Jane Kaczmarek (Malcolm in the Middle) star, along with Teddy Sears (Ugly Betty), Melissa Sagemiller (Sleeper Cell), Currie Graham (Boston Legal), J. August Richards (Angel) and Jonathan Scarfe (Into the West). Created by Bochco and lawyer/writer David Feige (author of the book Indefensible).

90210 (The CW)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 2 at 8 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 8 p.m.
Freaks and Geeks‘ Gabe Sachs and Jeff Judah are exec producing this contemporary spin-off of the ’90s-era teen drama. The new incarnation centers on Annie Mills (Shenae Grimes, Degrassi: The Next Generation) and her adopted brother Dixon (Tristan Wilds, The Wire), who’ve moved from Kansas to attend West Beverly Hills High. Co-starring Lori Loughlin (Summerland), Jessica Walter (Arrested Development), AnnaLynne McCord (Nip/Tuck), Dustin Milligan (Runaway), Michael Steger (The Winner), Jessica Stroup (Reaper), and Ryan Eggold (Dirt). 90210: Original Flavor alums Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty guest star.

SONS OF ANARCHY (FX)
Premieres: Wednesday, Sept. 3 at 10 p.m.
Time slot: Wednesdays at 10 p.m.
This darkly comedic drama from executive producer Kurt Sutter (The Shield) focuses on an outlaw motorcycle club intent on protecting their sheltered town from advancing drug dealers and local corporate developers, and equally determined to preserve their thriving illegal arms business. Starring Charlie Hunnam (Children of Men), Katey Sagal (8 Simple Rules), Ron Perlman (Hellboy), Drea de Matteo (The Sopranos) and Maggie Siff (Mad Men).

HOLE IN THE WALL (Fox)
Premieres: Sunday, Sept. 7 at 8 p.m.
Time slot: Thursdays at 8 p.m.
This game show is based on the popular Japanese show where two teams face various barrier walls speeding toward them with weird and wacky cut-out shapes. Team members must contort their bodies to fit through these cut-outs or they will be swept away into the pool below. Described as one of the trickiest, fastest, funniest and wettest half-hours on the planet, versions of the show have already been produced in Argentina, Australia, Brazil, China, Colombia, Denmark, Germany, Hong Kong, India, Indonesia, Israel, Malaysia, Mexico, Russia and Sweden.

TRUE BLOOD (HBO)
Premieres: Sunday, Sept. 7 at 9 p.m.
Time slot: Sundays at 9 p.m.
The latest offering from Alan Ball (Six Feet Under) is a new twist on the vampire genre based on Charlaine Harris’ Southern Vampire Mysteries books. The series centers on a psychic small-town waitress (Anna Paquin, X-Men) and the mysterious gentleman vampire (Stephen Moyer, NY-LON) who catches her fancy. This comedic drama is set in an alternate-universe Louisiana in which vampires are real and have “come out of the coffin” only recently with the advent of a synthetic blood beverage–”Tru Blood”–that removes their need to feed on live humans. Or does it? Ryan Kwanten (Summerland), Nelsan Ellis (The Inside), Rutina Wesley, and Sam Trammell co-star.

FRINGE (Fox)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 9 at 8 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 8 p.m.
When the passengers on an international flight turn up dead under unusual and grisly circumstances, an up-and-coming FBI agent (newcomer Anna Torv) teams up with an eccentric scientist (John Noble, The Lord of the Rings) and his estranged genius son (Joshua Jackson, Dawson’s Creek) to unravel the mystery. Mark Valley (Boston Legal), Blair Brown (Altered States), Lance Reddick (The Wire), Kirk Acevedo (Oz), and Jasika Nicole (Law & Order: Criminal Intent) costar in this thriller from executive producers J.J. Abrams, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, (Mission: Impossible III, Alias).

PRIVILEGED (The CW)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 9 at 9 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 9:00 p.m.
Based on Zoey Dean’s young adult book, How To Teach Filthy Rich Girls, this show centers on a Yale-educated young woman (JoAnna Garcia, Reba) hired to be the live-in tutor/life coach to two rich heiresses (Ashley Newbrough, The Best Years, and Lucy Kate Hale, Bionic Woman) in Palm Beach. Anne Archer (Fatal Attraction), Allan Louis (Stomp the Yard), Kristina Apgar (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles), Michael Cassidy (Smallville), and Brian Hallisay costar. From executive producers Rina Mimoun (Gilmore Girls, Everwood), Bob Levy (Gossip Girl) and Leslie Morgenstein (Gossip Girl, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants).

SOMEBODIES (BET)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 9 at 10 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 10 p.m.
BET’s first original sitcom, based on the 2006 Sundance film by series star Hadjii, tells the story of Scottie, an everyday, party-hopping, church-going, African-American undergraduate student looking for a good time with his friends and a little luck with the ladies. Kaira Akita, Quante Strickland, Corey Redding, Anthony K. Hyatt, Tyler Craig, Eric L. Register, Pat Brown, and Carlos Davis round out the ensemble cast.

THE RACHEL ZOE PROJECT (Bravo)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 9 at 11 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 10 p.m.
Celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe, along with her husband Rodger and fashion team, Taylor and Brad, are featured in this docu-drama as they endeavor to take Zoe’s business to the next level. In the series, the perfectly styled, go-to force among “it” starlets, fashion houses, beauty firms and magazine editors will give viewers a fly on the wall look at how she juggles constant deadlines, fashion shows and celebrity clients.

DO NOT DISTURB (Fox)
Premieres: Wednesday, Sept 10 at 9:30 p.m.
Time slot: Wednesdays at 9:30 p.m.
This workplace comedy from Abraham Higginbotham (Back to You) centers on the upstairs/downstairs dynamic at a hip New York City hotel. The series stars Jerry O’Connell (Carpoolers) as the hotel’s image-conscious general manager and Niecy Nash (Reno 911!) as the head of human resources who looks after the staff and tries to keep everyone out of trouble. Molly Stanton (Twins), Brando Eaton (Zoey 101), Jolene Purdy (Donnie Darko), and Jesse Tyler Ferguson (The Class) also star.

WORST WEEK (CBS)
Premieres: Monday, Sept. 22 at 9:30 p.m.
Time slot: Mondays at 9:30 p.m.
A half-hour comedy about an unwed couple with a baby on the way (Kyle Bornheimer, Jericho, and Erinn Hayes, Kitchen Confidential), who must break the news to her conservative parents (Kurtwood Smith, That ’70s Show, and Nancy Lenehan, My Name is Earl). From exec producers Matt Tarses (Scrubs) and Jimmy Mulville (Whose Line Is It Anyway?), based on the BBC comedy The Worst Week of My Life.

OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS (ABC)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 23 at 8 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 8 p.m.
A mobile game show that travels to different neighborhoods and selects a family from each to play for money and prizes. Host J.D. Roth poses trivia questions to family members based directly on their lives, each other and articles found in and around their home. Produced by Ashton Kutcher, Jason Goldberg, Karey Burke (Beauty and the Geek), J.D. Roth and Todd A. Nelson.

THE MENTALIST (CBS)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 23 at 9 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 9 p.m.
Simon Baker (The Devil Wears Prada) stars as Patrick Jane, an independent consultant for the California Bureau of Investigation and former charlatan TV medium, who uses his razor-sharp skills of observation to solve crimes. Co-starring Robin Tunney (Prison Break), Tim Kang (Rambo), Owain Yeoman (The Nine), and Amanda Righetti, (The O.C.). Bruno Heller (creator of Rome) is creator/executive producer, and David Nutter (Band of Brothers) is the executive producer.

KNIGHT RIDER (NBC)
Premieres: Wednesday, Sept. 24 at 8 p.m.
Time slot: Wednesdays at 8 p.m.
An update of the ’80s television series, following on the heels of last year’s TV movie. The new, customized KITT (Knight Industries Three Thousand) is now a Ford Mustang powered by nanotechnology, with Michael Knight’s son (Justin Bruening, Cold Case) behind the wheel. Deanna Russo (NCIS), Sydney Tamiia Poitier (Veronica Mars), and Bruce Davison (Kingdom Hospital, X-Men) co-star. David Bartis (Heist, The O.C.), Doug Liman (Mr. and Mrs. Smith, The Bourne Identity) and Gary Scott Thompson (Las Vegas, The Fast and The Furious) are executive producers.

GARY UNMARRIED (CBS)
Premieres: Wednesday, Sept. 24 at 8:30 p.m.
Time slot: Wednesdays at 8:30 p.m.
Jay Mohr (Ghost Whisperer) and Paula Marshall (Nip/Tuck) star in this comedy about Gary Barnes, a recently single painting contractor, and his controlling ex-wife, Allison, who face post-divorce mayhem after 15 years of marriage as they each juggle parenthood and embark on new relationships. Jaime King (Kitchen Confidential), Ed Begley Jr. (Recount), Al Madrigal (Welcome to the Captain), Kathryn Newton, and Ryan Malgarini (How to Eat Fried Worms) co-star. From exec producers Ed Yeager (Still Standing) and Ric Swartzlander (8 Simple Rules).

LITTLE BRITAIN (HBO)
Premieres: Sunday, Sept. 28 at 10:30 p.m.
Time slot: Sundays at 10:30
Matt Lucas and David Walliams, the stars of the smash-hit BBC comedy Little Britain, bring their surreal, edgy sketch comedy to the U.S., featuring an outrageous look at the quirkiest inhabitants of the country from coast to coast.

THE LIFE & TIMES OF TIM (HBO)
Premieres: Sunday, Sept. 28 at 11 p.m.
Time slot: Sundays a 11 p.m.
An animated show about a guy who just can’t seem to catch a break. Tim (Steve Dildarian, co-creator of the Budweiser “Lizards” TV campaign) is 25 years old and lives in New York City with his girlfriend Amy (MJ Otto), who’s patiently putting up with his antics while he gets his life in order. Rounding out the voice cast are Bob Morrow, Cheri Oteri (Saturday Night Live), Kurtwood Smith (That 70s Show), Matt Johnson (Passions), and Nick Kroll (Cavemen, Best Week Ever). Created by Dildarian and executive-produced by Tom Werner (That 70s Show, 3rd Rock from the Sun), Jimmy Miller (Talladega Nights, Borat) and Mike Clements.

Bacon Bits: GOSSIP GIRL, PUSHING DAISIES and More

- Can’t wait for the Gossip Girl premiere? The CW has posted the first five minutes on YouTube.

- ABC is sexing up Dirty Sexy Money and dumbing down Pushing Daisies. And NBC is upping the romance quotient on Chuck. This right here, this is how good television shows jump the shark.

- Speaking of jumping the shark, Dancing with the Stars laughs in the face of the TV Gods by signing Original Show Killer Ted McGingley! Also, Cloris Leachman, Susan Lucci, Lance Bass, Toni Braxton, Rocco DiSpirito, Brooke Burke, some kid from Hannah Montana, Kim Kardashian, Jeffrey Ross, Warren Sapp and Olympians Maurice Greene and Misty May-Treanor.

- Remember when we actually wanted our MTV? Defamer lists “7 MTV-Defining Stars Who Wouldn’t Be Allowed on MTV Anymore.”

- Fox says you can watch the premieres of Fringe and Sarah Connor Chronicles online! But only if you live in a dorm.

- Lost is resurrecting Michelle Rodriguez for an episode. Oy, does this mean Nikki and Paulo are next?

Wrapping Up the Upfronts

Well, upfront week has come and gone and what do we have to show for it? An unusually short, not terribly exciting list of new shows premiering in the upcoming season. And a bunch of network-penned blurbs meant to get us tingly with anticipation of said new shows. Are you feeling tingly? Yeah, me neither.

In fairness, it is kind of hard to get worked up about a description in a press release. Which is why, of course, the networks always come to the upfronts with a big, splashy presentation, a bunch of smiling celebrities, and–most importantly–video clips promoting their new shows. Fortunately for us, the good folks over at TV Week have collected all the various clips and trailers together so we can all get started deciding which new shows look good enough to be Season Pass worthy.

The ABC upfront videos offer up a sneak peek at The Goode Family, Life on Mars, Opportunity Knocks and the eighth season of Scrubs. CBS gives us a glimpse of Eleventh Hour, The Ex List, Harper’s Island, Project Gary, The Mentalist and Worst Week. The CW videos include four clips from Surviving the Filthy Rich and three clips of Stylista (but sadly none of 90210). And finally, Fox serves up the previously mentioned scene from Dollhouse, as well as a couple of clips from Fringe (although for the full, fully creepy trailer you should hop over here), a look at The Cleveland Show and three clips each of Do Not Disturb and Sit Down, Shut Up.

So, after watching all of these clips, which shows will I be saving TiVo space for? Fox is the big winner this year with three shows I’m actively looking forward to from three talented creators with an excellent track record in television: Fringe (pictured above), Dollhouse and Sit Down, Shut Up. ABC’s The Goode Family seems a safe bet since Mike Judge can pretty much always make me laugh. CBS’s Harper’s Island doesn’t so much look good as like it might be a scary good time, but everything else on CBS’s schedule looks, frankly, really really bad. And as for the CW… well, let’s just say if the network doesn’t survive until next year’s upfronts I won’t go into mourning.

Oh, and let’s not forget NBC, who brilliantly made their non-upfront upfront presentation a month ago. Oops, too late, I’ve already forgotten all of NBC’s new shows.

Fox Banks on Abrams’ FRINGE for Fall

Fox obviously thinks that Fringe is going to be the next Lost, and they may not be wrong. The sci-fi thriller from Lost creator J.J. Abrams is one of only two new shows on the network’s fall schedule–the other being a half-hour comedy tentatively titled Do Not Disturb and starring Jerry O’Connell. Yeah, I don’t really care about that one, either.

So, getting back to Fringe… Fox is so excited about this show that it’s rolling out the marketing campaign today, a tactic more commonly used for feature films than television shows. New Yorkers should keep an eye out for the Fringe street teams today, who will apparently be orchestrating stunts involving Segways and… cows? O-kay. They’ve also unveiled a series of tantalizing posters for the series, complete with Lost-esque typeface and mysterious imagery including an apple, a shadowy figure, a handprint, a leaf, and a puff of smoke in the shape of a creepy human face. Also? The show’s mystery apparently starts with an ill-fated airline flight. Hmmmm.

But as much as they want us to be excited about Fringe, the truth is that they’re holding back most of the good stuff until midseason, when 24 and American Idol return. That means we’ll have to wait until January for the highly-anticipated Joss Whedon series Dollhouse, which will serve as a lead-in on Monday nights for 24. Two new animated comedies are also being held until spring: Sit Down, Shut Up from Mitchell Hurwitz (Arrested Development) and the Family Guy spin off The Cleveland Show.

As usual, Fox is set to launch its fall season earlier than the other networks, starting with a two-hour Prison Break on Monday, Aug. 25, the two-hour premiere of Fringe on Aug. 26, and a two-hour Bones on Aug. 27. Finally, upfront week has given us something to get excited about.

Fall 2008 Schedule

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 PM TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES
9:00-10:00 PM PRISON BREAK

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM HOUSE
9:00-10:00 PM FRINGE

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM BONES
9:00-9:30 PM ‘TIL DEATH
9:30-10:00 PM DO NOT DISTURB (wt)

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
9:00-10:00 PM KITCHEN NIGHTMARES

FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 PM ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER?
9:00-10:00 PM DON’T FORGET THE LYRICS!

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 PM COPS
8:30-9:00 PM COPS
9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA’S MOST WANTED: AMERICA FIGHTS BACK
11:00 PM-Midnight MADtv
Midnight-12:30 AM TALKSHOW WITH SPIKE FERESTEN

SUNDAY
7:00-8:00 PM THE OT (NFL post-game)
8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 PM KING OF THE HILL
9:00-9:30 PM FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 PM AMERICAN DAD

New Series for Fall 2008 or Midseason 2009

FRINGE
From J.J. Abrams, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, the team behind Star Trek, Mission: Impossible III and Alias, comes a new thriller that will explore the blurring line between science fiction and reality. When an international flight lands at Boston’s Logan Airport and the passengers and crew have all died grisly deaths, FBI Special Agent Olivia Dunham (newcomer Anna Torv) is called in to investigate. After her partner, Special Agent John Scott (Mark Valley, Boston Legal), is nearly killed during the investigation, a desperate Olivia searches frantically for someone to help, leading her to Dr. Walter Bishop (John Noble, Lord of the Rings), our generation’s Einstein. There’s only one catch: he’s been institutionalized for the last 20 years, and the only way to question him requires pulling his estranged son Peter (Joshua Jackson, Dawson’s Creek) in to help. When Olivia’s investigation leads her to manipulative corporate executive Nina Sharp (Blair Brown, Altered States), our unlikely trio along with fellow FBI Agents Phillip Broyles (Lance Reddick, The Wire), Charlie Francis (Kirk Acevedo, Oz) and Astrid Farnsworth (Jasika Nicole, Law & Order: Criminal Intent) will discover that what happened on Flight 627 is only a small piece of a larger, more shocking truth.

DO NOT DISTURB (working title)
This workplace comedy centers around the upstairs/downstairs dynamic at a hip New York City hotel. The hotel’s top-notch reputation is due in large part to Neal (Jerry O’Connell, Crossing Jordan) the egotistical, hyper-stylish, detail-oriented general manager, although The Inn’s charismatic owner R.J. (guest star Robert Wagner) takes all the credit. Rhonda (Niecy Nash, Reno 911!) is the head of Human Resources who does her best to keep the back of the house in line and the front of the house out of trouble. At the front desk handling check-in while wearing 6-inch Manolos is aging model Nicole (Molly Stanton, Twins). Fresh from Nebraska is Jason (Brando Eaton, Zoey 101), the naive bellman who would prefer to work behind the scenes, but was hired to show off his chiseled face and perfect pecs at the front of the hotel. The downstairs staff includes Molly (Jolene Purdy, Donnie Darko), a reservations clerk who dreams of pop-singer stardom as much as she craves to be part of the action upstairs; and Larry (Jesse Tyler Ferguson, The Class), the head of housekeeping who spends more time on the phone cleaning up his messes at home than he does cleaning up after the guests upstairs.

DOLLHOUSE
Joss Whedon, creator of groundbreaking cult favorites Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly, returns to television and reunites with fellow Buffy alumna Eliza Dushku for a thrilling new drama. Echo (Dushku) is an “Active,” a member of a highly illegal and underground group who have had their personalities wiped clean so they can be imprinted with any number of new personas. Confined to a secret facility known as the “Dollhouse,” Echo and the other Actives including Sierra (Dichen Lachman, Neighbours) and Victor (Enver Gjokaj, The Unit) carry out engagements assigned by Adelle (Olivia Williams, X-Men: The Last Stand, Rushmore), one of the Dollhouse leaders. The engagements cater to the wealthy, powerful and connected, and require the Actives to immerse themselves in all manner of scenarios romantic, criminal, uplifting, dangerous, comical and the occasional “pro bono” good deed. After each scenario, Echo, always under the watchful eye of her handler Boyd (Harry Lennix, Commander in Chief, 24), returns to the mysterious Dollhouse where her thoughts, feelings and experiences are erased by Topher (Fran Kranz, Welcome to the Captain), the Dollhouse’s genius programmer. Echo enters the next scenario with no memory of before. Or does she? As the series progresses, FBI Agent Paul Smith (Tahmoh Penikett, Battlestar Galactica) pieces together clues that lead him closer to the Dollhouse, while Echo stops forgetting, her memories begin to return and she slowly pieces together her mysterious past. Dollhouse revolves around Echo’s blossoming self-awareness and her desire to discover her true identity. But with each new engagement, comes a new memory and increased danger inside and outside the Dollhouse.

SECRET MILLIONAIRE
This unscripted series takes America’s wealthiest individuals away from their lavish lifestyles, sprawling mansions and private planes and places them undercover into some of the most impoverished neighborhoods in America. Shot under the guise of a documentary, the series reveals the dramatic personal return that millionaires will get when they leave their fortunes to invest in those less fortunate. Challenged with living on minimum wage, the millionaires will immerse themselves in situations beyond their comprehension. They will work side-by-side with community members and befriend those in need to decide who should ultimately receive their gifts of a lifetime. On the final day, the Secret Millionaires meet with the chosen recipients and reveal their true identity and intention: to give them at least $100,000.

THE CLEVELAND SHOW (working title)
Many years ago, Cleveland Brown (voiced by Mike Henry) was a high school student madly in love with a beautiful girl named Donna. Much to his dismay, his love went unrequited, and Donna wound up marrying another man. Cleveland once told Donna he would always love her, and if this man ever done her wrong, he’d be there when she called. Well, this man done her wrong. Donna’s husband skipped town with another woman, leaving Donna with a daughter and a baby. Now she’s come to Cleveland and offered him another chance at love. Unattached after the Loretta-Quagmire debacle and true to his word, Cleveland joyously accepts and he and Cleveland Jr. move to Stoolbend, VA, to join their new family. Once in Stoolbend, Cleveland has a few surprises in store for him, including a flirtatious new stepdaughter, a 5-year-old stepson who loves the ladies, as well as a collection of neighbors that includes a loudmouth redneck couple, a British family seemingly stuck in the Victorian era and a family of bears living at the end of the block.

SIT DOWN, SHUT UP (working title)
From Emmy Award-winning writer Mitchell Hurwitz (Arrested Development) and Eric and Kim Tannenbaum (Two and a Half Men) comes an animated comedy that focuses on the lives of eight staff members at a high school in a small northeastern fishing town (Go Baiters!) who never lose sight of the fact that the children must ALWAYS come second. We watch them grapple with their own egos, needs and personal agendas, their petty insecurities and prejudices, unrequited loves, and ruthless battles for power and that’s just at the staff meeting. Sue Sezno (Kenan Thompson, Saturday Night Live), a woman who frequently says “no,” is the acting principal of the school (the actual principal is recovering from a series of unfortunate accidents that might be seen as escape attempts). Then there’s Vice Principal Stuart Prozackian (Will Forte, Saturday Night Live) who has a terrifically positive and upbeat attitude… possibly from the performance-enhancing medication he’s been secretly put on by the other teachers. There is one educator who feels the focus should be on academics, but despite the old adage, at this school, those who can teach, teach gym and that’s where Larry Slimp (Jason Bateman, Juno, Arrested Development) has been exiled to. Immensely frustrated, Larry nurses a crush on science teacher Miracle GroheI (Maria Bamford, Stuart Little 2), a woman whose superficial grasp on science is balanced by her superficial grasp on spirituality. Rounding out the staff is the aging German teacher Willard Deutschebog (Henry Winkler, Arrested Development, Happy Days), a deeply defeated man whose yearbook quotation reads “If I believed in reincarnation, I’d kill myself tonight.” Uptight Helen Klench (Cheri Oteri, Saturday Night Live) is a librarian whose life’s work in research and archiving can now be surpassed by the average Google search from the average cell phone. Proud Andrew Sapien (Nick Kroll, Best Week Ever, Cavemen) is the flamboyant drama teacher. Ennis Hofftard (Will Arnett, Arrested Development) is a fellow teacher and a self-obsessed body builder who yearns to be thought of as a “cool dude” by his students. And finally there’s Happly (Tom Kenny, SpongeBob SquarePants), the plotting secretive custodian who’s assumed to be Hispanic despite the fact that his real name is Muhannad Sabeeh Fa’ach Nuaba. With a distinctive new look a combination of animation against a live-action backdrop Sit Down, Shut Up lampoons modern society while exposing the dreams, flaws and struggling humanity of our first and most formative authority figures: teachers.

Returning Fall 2008 or Midseason 2009

· 24
· AMERICAN DAD
· AMERICAN IDOL
· AMERICA’S MOST WANTED: AMERICA STRIKES BACK
· ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER?
· BONES
· COPS
· DON’T FORGET THE LYRICS!
· FAMILY GUY
· HELL’S KITCHEN
· HOUSE
· KING OF THE HILL
· KITCHEN NIGHTMARES
· THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
· PRISON BREAK
· THE SIMPSONS
· TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES
· ‘TIL DEATH

Canceled Series

· BACK TO YOU
· CANTERBURY’S LAW
· K-VILLE
· NASHVILLE
· NEW AMSTERDAM
· THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND
· THE RETURN OF JEZEBEL JAMES
· UNHITCHED