To Be Competent Or Not To Be Competent: NBC’s Loveable Comedy Losers Take On Fox’s Intrepid Investigators

It’s the first huge night of the new fall season, with season premieres of several returning shows and the bow of a notable newbie. Hope you’ve got a quad-tuner DVR, because there’s a lot to see tonight. All times listed below are Eastern and Pacific, so if you’re like me and don’t actually trip the light fantastic in LA or NYC, count on your TiVo to help you add or subtract an hour. The TiVo is smarter than we are anyway.

You could tune in to the loveable losers on NBC’s strongest night, where even the characters who manage to do something right usually spiral gently downwards. Uneven Amy Poehler vehicle Parks and Recreation, where the failures occur regularly and have yet to be terribly funny, returns at 8:30. It’s followed at 9pm by its much more successful sibling, The Office, which promises an episode in which Michael causes an awkward situation that is resolved by Pam saving the day. Isn’t that essentially every episode of The Office? Doesn’t matter–with characters so engaging and writing so dry, we’re willing to go along for the same ride a few times. The Office is followed immediately by the debut of Community, a comedy in a similar single-camera, vertias vein, starring the delightfully snarky Joel McHale (The Soup) as an attorney whose license is pulled until he gets a real college degree. In addition to being in the middle of a promising set-up, McHale is supported by luminaries ranging from The Daily Show‘s John Oliver to Ken Jeong (Party Down, Role Models) and the legendary Chevy Chase. Here’s hoping the earn an A+.

If the cavalcade of failure gets you down, you might prefer the return of the ultra-competent investigators on Fox. Many Bones fans (8pm) seem to be hoping that the show actually returns to competently solving mysteries after an odd detour into tumor-induced hallucinations. While the creators have promised more of the budding Booth-Brennan romance (pushed along by guest star Cyndi Lauper!), if you want to get your geek on this show has one of the highest science-to-silliness ratios on TV. Things get more serious with the return of the rejuvenated Fringe at 9pm. We weren’t terribly convinced by early Fringe episodes, but the show hit a groove later in the season and had fun, juicy cliffhangers. It might be difficult to keep the various timelines untangled, but both Joshua Jackson and Anna Torv have improved, making acceptable foils for John Noble‘s inspired wackiness.

If FBI agents aren’t your thing, you might check out a new season of Survivor (8pm on CBS), which moves to Samoa. I personally don’t think of Samoa as “off-road” enough for Survivor’s needs, but I suppose they could find a mile of isolated beach somewhere and limit their adventures to that. And the castaways tend to be neatly divided between loserdom and competence, so you can get it all in one classic reality show. Finally, you could always check out the Brothers Winchester on a new Supernatural. They’re pretty darned competent, considering their job is dispatching demons and other things that go bump in the night, but they do tend to suffer a bit from the Peter Principle. Snuff a demon, release Lucifer into the world–who knew that could happen? You can catch Supernatural on the CW at 9pm, putting it right up against The Office, Community, and Fringe. Be kind to your fine feathered DVR–you’re gonna need it.

Squee! It’s..

There’s a whole lot o’ squeeing going on tonight if you’re a TV fan (smells like sweeps spirit). Christine Baranski, Emmy winner for Cybill, star of several other sitcoms, and Law and Order briefcase carrier, shows up on Ugly Betty along with Ralph Macchio. The Karate Kid, people! Kaley Cuoco of The Big Bang Theory pops up on Supernatural. Rob Benedict, former hand model entrepreneur on Felicity (as well as nervous Nelly engineer Lucas Pegg on Threshold–oh, how we wanted that show to be good) has a role on CSI: Original Flavor. Oh, and that Clooney guy is supposed to show up on ER.

Now, I love me some George Clooney–no, I love me some George Clooney–and since he’s off being a movie star-fancy director-Oscar nominated writer, he doesn’t have much time for TV these days, so I suppose this is a treat. If I’d watched ER at any time in the last decade, the thought of him and Julianna Marguiles showing up in County General again might hold more appeal. Still, I’m reserving our ultimate squee tonight for a member of the Buffy family. Maybe the reason we’ve been rolling our eyes so strenuously at Dollhouse is because we’ve loved Joss Whedon’s other work so thoroughly, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the beginning of all of that. Amber Benson, who played shy witch (and eventual love interest for Willow) Tara, appears tonight on Private Practice. Benson has also appeared in Supernatural and Cold Case and is the author of several books, plays, and screenplays. So flip back and forth between medical shows and catch two hyphenates for the price of one. Private Practice (ABC) and ER (NBC) both air tonight at 10pm Eastern and Pacific.

RIP Kim Manners

Mulder and Scully clutching hands after being unearthed from the tendrils of a giant killer fungus. Mulder finding new ways to stumble around his soaked apartment as he loops through a terrible version of Groundhog Day. Giant hearts made of ice falling from the sky. Michael McKean and David Duchovny playing each other (and dancing!). Mulder hallucinating that his parents handed his sister over. A wedding ring that looks like a castle and an erased letter. The revelation that Scully has cancer (and oh, that one hurts today). Mulder trapped under chicken wire, the Black Oil dripping onto his face. The origins of the Lone Gunmen. Inbred brothers dragging their armless, legless mother out from under a bed. Roaches, roaches, roaches. Corpses encased in clay. Lucy Householder drowning in the back of a police car to save a kidnapped girl (Jewel Staite!). Giovanni Ribisi and Jack Black watching car wrecks. A Satanic substitute teacher making a small town eat itself alive. And a circus community at the mercy of the Fiji Mermaid.

If you’re an X-Files fan, some of your favorite moments were directed by Kim Manners, who also directed episodes of Supernatural, The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr, 21 Jump Street, and Simon and Simon, among others (you can see him directing Gillian Anderson in eating a cricket above). Manners, who died in Los Angeles Sunday of lung cancer, blew open the X-Files world with “Humbug”, expanded the visual look of the show, and guided the actors to some of the best performances of the series. Pull out your favorite X-Files (or Supernatural, or Sledge Hammer!, or even Baywatch) episode, which Manners may well have directed, in tribute, and when you’re done with that one, watch “Jose Chung’s ‘From Outer Space’” and enjoy the character named in his honor, the hard-swearing Detective Manners. Just as Jose Chung says about Detective Manners, film crews up and down the West Coast were familiar with Director Manners’ colorful vernacular, too, and they loved him for it. He will be missed.

SUPERNATURAL: So A Man Wakes Up In A Box

When last we saw The Brothers Winchester, Sam was standing over Dean’s body, which had been ripped up by an off-screen hellhound, while Dean was apparently in Hell, which looks like a neuron map. No, I’m not making that up, and if it sounds strange to you, you’re missing the best scary time on TV.

Supernatural follows the exploits of the aforementioned Winchesters, demon hunters and messed-up good guys. In a previous season, rebel with a cause Dean (Jensen Ackles, Smallville and Dark Angel) had negotiated for straight arrow Sam’s (Jared Padalecki, Gilmore Girls) life by offering up his own, and last season was all about how to stop that bill from coming due. One of the things that makes this show fun, however, is their willingess to go as dark as TV goes–the heroes failed, the debt was collected, and Deano’s in Hell. They must find some way out, as tonight’s season premiere is called “Lazarus Rising” and descriptions of it suggest that Dean wakes up in a pine box, apparently free of his demon overlords. The boys’ friend Bobby (Deadwood‘s wonderful Jim Beaver), that rare demon hunter who has survived to a reasonably old age, is suspicious, however–what new bargain has provided this little gift, and what new debt is ripening?

Supernatural does a nice job with overarching story arcs like this, but they’re just as good at creepy one-offs that focus on the real origins of fairy tales or ancient links to Christmas creatures that want to eat more than cookies left by the fireplace. Unlike recent entries to the goosebump genre (Fringe, I’m looking at you), Supernatural benefits from heaping spoonfuls of dark humor–we’ve mentioned previously that The Tick‘s brilliant Ben Edlund is on the writing staff, and it shows. Supernatural has the bad luck of airing opposite the terrific NBC comedy block (or, for people outside of TV Bacon’s immediate circles, CSI: Original Flavor) but it’s premiering a week earlier than its competition so you have a chance to dip your toe in their scary, dangerous, invisible universe. Give them a try–but leave your lights on. Tonight and every Thursday at 9pm Eastern/Pacific on the CW.

Handy Dandy Guide to Returning Fall Television 2008

Suffering from Olympics withdrawal? Burned out on election coverage? Not to fear, my friend, because the new fall television season is upon us. That’s right, all (well, some) of our beloved TV shows are coming back to us. Below is a list of premiere dates for all our favorite (and some not-so-favorite) returning series. And stayed tuned, because coming soon, look for our guide to all the new fall series.

Tuesday, Aug. 26
Greek (ABC Family) 9 p.m.

Monday, Sept. 1
Prison Break (Fox) 8 p.m.
Gossip Girl (CW) 8 p.m.
One Tree Hill (CW) 9 p.m.

Tuesday, Sept. 2
The Shield (FX) 10 p.m.

Wednesday, Sept. 3
Bones (Fox) 8 p.m
America’s Next Top Model (CW) 8 p.m.
Top Design (Bravo) 10 p.m.

Thursday, Sept. 4
Kitchen Nightmares (FOX) 9 p.m.

Friday, Sept. 5
Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? (Fox) 8 p.m.

Sunday, Sept. 7
Entourage (HBO) 10 p.m.

Monday, Sept. 8
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (Fox) 8 p.m.

Wednesday, Sept. 10
‘Til Death (Fox) 9 p.m.

Friday, Sept. 12
Don’t Forget The Lyrics (Fox) 9 p.m.

Saturday, Sept. 13
MadTV (Fox) 11 p.m.
Saturday Night Live (NBC) 11:30 p.m.

Tuesday, Sept. 16
House (Fox) 8 p.m.
The Biggest Loser (NBC) 8 p.m.
Lincoln Heights (ABC Family) 8 p.m.

Thursday, Sept. 18
Survivor (CBS) 8 p.m.
Smallville (CW) 8 p.m.
Supernatural (CW) 9 p.m.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX) 10 p.m.

Monday, Sept. 22
Dancing With The Stars (ABC) 8 p.m.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS) 8 p.m.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS) 8:30 p.m.
Two and a Half Men (CBS) 9 p.m.
Heroes (NBC) 9 p.m.
Boston Legal (ABC) 10 p.m.
CSI: Miami (CBS) 10 p.m.

Tuesday, Sept. 23
NCIS (CBS) 8 p.m.
Law & Order: SVU (NBC) 10 p.m.
Without a Trace (CBS) 10 p.m.

Wednesday, Sept. 24
The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS) 8 p.m.
Criminal Minds (CBS) 9 p.m.
CSI: NY (CBS) 10 p.m.
Lipstick Jungle (NBC) 10 p.m.

Thursday, Sept. 25
Ugly Betty (ABC) 8 p.m.
Survivor (CBS) 8 p.m.
My Name is Earl (NBC) 8 p.m.
The Office (NBC) 9 p.m.
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC) 9 p.m.
E.R. (NBC) 10 p.m.

Sunday, Sept. 28
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC) 7 p.m.
The Amazing Race (CBS) 8 p.m.
The Simpsons (Fox) 8 p.m.
King of the Hill (Fox) 8:30 p.m.
Desperate Housewives (ABC) 9 p.m.
Cold Case (CBS) 9 p.m.
Dexter (Showtime) 9 p.m.
Family Guy (Fox) 9 p.m.
American Dad (Fox) 9:30 p.m.
Brothers & Sisters (ABC) 10 p.m.
The Unit (CBS) 10 p.m.
Californication (Showtime), 10 p.m.

Monday, Sept. 29
Chuck (NBC) 8 p.m.

Wednesday, Oct. 1
Private Practice (ABC) 8 p.m.
Pushing Daisies (ABC) 9 p.m.
Dirty Sexy Money (ABC) 10 p.m.
Friday Night Lights (DirecTV 101) 9 p.m.

Thursday, Oct. 2
Tim Gunn’s Guide To Style (Bravo) 10 p.m.

Friday, Oct. 3
Wife Swap (ABC) 8 p.m.
Ghost Whisperer (CBS) 8 p.m.
Everybody Hates Chris (CW) 8 p.m.
The Game (The CW) 8:30 p.m.
Supernanny (ABC) 9 p.m.
Life (NBC) 10 p.m.
Numb3rs (CBS) 10 p.m.

Sunday, Oct. 5
America’s Funniest Home Videos (ABC) 7 p.m.

Monday, Oct. 6
Samantha Who? (ABC) 9:30 p.m.

Thursday, Oct. 9
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS) 9 p.m.

Friday, Oct. 10
The Starter Wife (USA) 9 p.m.

Tuesday, Oct. 14
Eli Stone (ABC) 10 p.m.

Thursday, Oct. 30
30 Rock (NBC) 8:30 p.m.

Ooh, There’s the Long Arm of the Law on SUPERNATURAL

Well, strike-induced reruns are good for one thing–we can see all the stuff our poor, overscheduled TiVos couldn’t handle previously. You can catch #3 on our 2007 Ten Best Musical Moments on Television list tonight when Supernatural reruns “Night Shifter,” an episode that finds our intrepid demon hunters trying to explain robbers who have been dead for a few days when they get to thieving–and ends with RAWK! It’s a Ben Edlund-penned script, which means it’s not to be missed. It’s in the first hour of CW programming (8 Eastern and Pacific; 7 Central and Mountain), followed by the last original episode of the current run.

LOST Leads Saturn Noms

The Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Films has announced the nominations for the 34th annual Saturn Awards, with ABC’s Lost garnering seven nods in the television categories. Showtime’s Dexter scored five noms and NBC’s Heroes received four.

The Academy, founded in 1972 by film historian Donald A. Reed, is a nonprofit organization devoted to honoring, recognizing and promoting genre entertainment. The Saturn Awards will be handed out on June 24 in Universal City, Calif. A full list of nominees can be found behind the cut…

Picking Up the Pieces: What’s Left of the TV Season?

Assuming the outcome of today’s WGA vote is positive, we’re only hours away from an end to the strike. So, in the immortal words of President Josiah Bartlet, “What’s next?”

A number of showrunners have already gone back work, making plans for the remainder of the season and scrambling to figure out how many episodes they can throw together. The networks, meanwhile, are making their own lists, deciding which shows will go on the block and which ones will live to fight another day. ABC got the ball rolling today, announcing nine pickups for next season, and the other networks are expected to follow suit in the coming days.

To try and help you make sense of all of this, I’ve scoured the trades and entertainment sites and come up with a (mostly) comprehensive list of what’s coming, what’s going, and what’s gotten stuck in limbo. Of course, a lot of this is still just speculation right now, and all of it is subject to change. But I’ll keep updating as new information becomes available, so check back for the latest–shows with new or updated information will be marked with an asterisk (*).

24 (FOX) – Jack Bauer’s seventh season has been completely torpedoed by the strike and will most likely be postponed until January 2009. Yeah, you read that right–2009.

* 30 ROCK (NBC) – Look for Liz Lemon and crew to return in on April 10. NBC is hoping to produce five additional episodes this season, depending on the availability of Alec Baldwin, who’s scheduled to start work on a feature film.

ALIENS IN AMERICA (CW) – Eight pre-strike episodes (bringing the season total to a respectable 18) will air starting March 2, but no more will be produced this season. The show is still considered to be in contention for renewal next season, though.

* ARMY WIVES (LIFETIME) – A mini-season is planned to air in June, with a full second season premiering in December.

* BACK TO YOU (FOX) – Will return Feb. 26 with three pre-strike episodes followed by eight additional episodes.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (SCI FI) – Season four will debut April 2, with the first 11 of the show’s final 20 episodes already in the can. Production on the second half of the season may resume in March, but it’s unknown exactly when they’ll air.

* THE BIG BANG THEORY (CBS) – Will return on March 17 for the first of nine new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

BIG LOVE (HBO) – Production on season three begins in March, and the premiere date will most likely be pushed back to the end of the year.

BIG SHOTS (ABC) – It’s unlikely we’ll be subjected to any more episodes of this testosterone-laden flop. Hurrah!

BIONIC WOMAN (NBC) – Say goodbye to this expensive disappointment, which won’t resume production and won’t be back next year. RIP Jaime Sommers.

* BONES (FOX) – Will return with four pre-strike episodes on April 14, and may produce 2-6 additional episodes, although the airdate for those is still undetermined.

* BOSTON LEGAL (ABC) – Two pre-strike episodes remain and eight more are already slated for production. The series is expected be one of the first dramas to resume shooting post-strike and given Kelley’s notoriously quick turnaround time it looks like they might actually complete their entire 22-episode order. But the legal drama wasn’t included on ABC’s list of pickups for 2008-09, so this season may be the last.

BROTHERS & SISTERS (ABC) – One pre-strike episode remains and 4-5 more episodes are expected to be produced for airing in April and May. The series has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

BURN NOTICE (USA) – Production on season two is expected to start in late April, with new episodes airing this summer.

* CANE (CBS) – No new episodes will be produced this season and it wasn’t included on a recent list of pickups for 2008-09, so the future is looking dim for this stinky soap.

CANTERBURY’S LAW (FOX) – This Julianna Margulies vehicle from the producers of Rescue Me will premiere April 14 for a six-episode run.

* CHUCK (NBC) – The bad news is that the good folks at the Buy More won’t be back this season. The good news is that they will be back–NBC has ordered 13 episodes for 2008-09.

THE CLOSER (TNT) – Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson should return for her fourth season in June, about three weeks later than originally planned.

* COLD CASE (CBS) – Will return on March 30 with five new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* CRIMINAL MINDS (CBS) – Will return on April 2 with seven new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* CSI (CBS) – Will return on April 3 with six new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* CSI: MIAMI (CBS) – Will return on March 24 with eight new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* CSI: NEW YORK (CBS) – Will return on April 2 with seven new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (ABC) – Expected to return in April with 4-7 new episodes. The ladies of Wisteria Lane have also been picked up for a fifth season.

DIRT (FX) – Returns for a seven-episode sophomore season on March 2.

DIRTY SEXY MONEY (ABC) – Three pre-strike episodes have yet to air, but don’t expect to see them until the Darling family returns to ABC’s schedule next fall.

ENTOURAGE (HBO) – The new season has been pushed back to fall, rather than the summer return originally planned.

* E.R. (NBC) – Yes, this fossil will actually be coming back on April 10 with six new episodes. And the network is reportedly in negotiations to bring the dang thing back for yet another season. Will it ever die?

EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS (CW) – Will return March 2 with 12 pre-strike episodes to bring the season total to 22. Still in contention for renewal next season.

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS (NBC) – Last week’s episode may very well be the last we’ll see of the mighty Dillon Panthers, as the forecast is grim for this critical darling (which has been on Ben Silverman’s hit list all season). Apparently clear eyes and full hearts can lose. No less than three different fan ventures have been launched in an attempt to save the show–one involves sending mini footballs to NBC, another is sending light bulbs, and a third group is sending Clear Eyes eye drops. So clever, those fans.

* THE GAME (CW) – Will return on March 23 with nine new episodes.

GIRLFRIENDS (CW) – This long-running series was expected to end after this season and it’s unlikely any new episodes will be produced, but the CW is reportedly working with the show’s producers to bring some closure with a retrospective or clip show of some kind.

* GHOST WHISPERER (CBS) – Will return on April 4 with six new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* GOSSIP GIRL (CW) – Will return on April 21 with five new episodes. It’s also rumored the network may expand its order and bring the series back over the summer.

GREY’S ANATOMY (ABC) – Expected to return in April with 4-7 new episodes. And yes, the docs at Seattle Grace will be back for a fifth season.

HEROES (NBC) – Won’t be back until the series returns with 22+ episodes next season.

* HOUSE (FOX) – Our favorite cranky doc won’t be back until late April or early May, but Fox may extend the current season into summer. David Shore says the storyline originally planned for the second half of the season will most likely be thrown out altogether.

* HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (CBS) – Will return on March 17 with nine new episodes. The comedy wasn’t included on a recent list of pickups for 2008-09, but sources say it still has a good chance of renewal.

JERICHO (CBS) – Returns tonight with the first of seven new episodes (and in case you’re looking to jump in, EW has a handy cheat sheet to catch you up). No more episodes are expected to be produced this season, and as for next season… well, I guess it depends on the ratings tonight.

LAS VEGAS (NBC) – Two pre-strike episodes remain, but no more are expected this season. The show’s fate next season is uncertain.

* LAW & ORDER (NBC) – Will be back on April 23 with seven pre-strike episodes. It’s unclear how many additional episodes will be produced this season.

* LAW & ORDER: SVU (NBC) – Will return on April 15 with 4-6 new episodes.

LIFE (NBC) – Won’t be back this season, NBC has ordered 13 episodes for 2008-09 and plans to give the struggling show a proper relaunch. Let’s hope people actually start watching.

LIFE IS WILD (CW) – I’ve never even heard of this show, but apparently it’s a moot point now, as it’s not expected to return. Ever.

* LOST (ABC) – Six pre-strike episodes remain and five more will be produced in order to finish out the fourth season properly. That’ll make for a 13-episode season–three short of the 16 originally planned. Carlton Cuse says he hopes to incorporate the three “missing” episodes further down the line somehow. He also predicts there will be a four-week gap between the airdate of the last pre-strike episode and the first post-strike episode, rather than the uninterrupted season they were hoping for.

* MEDIUM (NBC) – Six pre-strike episodes remain in its current run and seven more are expected to be produced this season.

MEN IN TREES (ABC) – Will return Feb. 27 with 11 pre-strike episodes, but the series was not among ABC’s pickups for next season.

* MOONLIGHT (CBS) – Will return on April 11 with four new episodes. The vampire drama wasn’t included on a recent list of pickups for 2008-09 so its future is still up in the air.

* MY NAME IS EARL (NBC) – Earl Hickey will be back on April 3 with an hour-long episode, the first of 8-9 new episodes to be produced.

* NCIS (CBS) – Will return on April 7 with seven new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE (CBS) – Six pre-strike episodes remain, but CBS is reportedly waiting to see how it performs before deciding whether to produce any more. The comedy also was left off a recent list of pickups for 2008-09, casting more doubt on its future.

NEW AMSTERDAM (NBC) – This mid-season drama will premiere March 4 for an 8-episode run.

NIP/TUCK (FX) – Will complete its fifth season on Feb. 19. Production is expected to resume on season six this summer.

* NUMB3RS (CBS) – Will return on April 4 with six new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

OCTOBER ROAD (ABC) – Four pre-strike episodes remain, but the series was not among ABC’s pickups for next season.

* THE OFFICE (NBC) – Expect to see our favorite Dunder Mifflin employees back at work on April 10. Greg Daniels has confirmed that they’ll be producing six new episodes, though they “might be able to squeeze in seven if NBC asks for them.” The first episode will be “The Dinner Party,” a script that was about to start shooting when the strike interrupted production. Another pre-strike script, this one for the annual Christmas episode, will likely be tossed. The writing team is meeting this week to decide how to advance the show’s storylines, but Daniels says he’s “tempted to just leap ahead to where we would have been.” What I want to know is how they’re going to deal with Angela Kinsey’s baby belly.

* ONE TREE HILL (CW) – Six pre-strike episodes remain and six more will be produced this season.

PRISON BREAK (FOX) – About to complete its scheduled 13-episode season. The future of the series beyond that is unknown.

* PRIVATE PRACTICE (ABC) – Won’t be back this season, but has been given a 13-episode order for 2008-09.

PUSHING DAISIES (ABC) – Won’t return until the fall. But we can rest easy in the knowledge that our favorite piemaker will definitely be back.

QUARTERLIFE (NBC) – Will premiere Feb. 26 for a 6-episode run.

* REAPER (CW) – Will return March 13 with three pre-strike episodes, and five more have been ordered for this season.

* THE RETURN OF JEZEBEL JAMES (FOX) – Instead of the previously planned post-Idol preview on March 12, the mid-season comedy will debut with a one-hour premiere on March 14.

THE RICHES (FX) – Season two, which has been downsized from 13 to seven episodes, will premiere March 18.

* THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT (CBS) – Expected to return on April 14 with six new episodes. The comedy wasn’t included on a recent list of pickups for 2008-09 so its future is still up in the air.

SAMANTHA WHO? (ABC) – Three pre-strike episodes remain and are expected to air in the spring, along with several new episodes, in the post-Dancing with the Stars time slot. The series has also been picked up for 2008-09.

* SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (NBC) – Will be back on the air Feb. 23 with host Tina Fey. SNL plans to push out four straight weeks of shows (Juno‘s Ellen Page has committed to host on March 1), a tall order for the live series, which rarely goes more than three weeks in row without a break. NBC is keen to catch up on all the ripe political fodder that’s gone un-lampooned during the strike. Maybe now we’ll all finally be able to stop watching that Sarah Silverman/Matt Damon video.

* SAVING GRACE (TNT) – The series is expected to return in June, about three weeks later than originally planned.

* SCRUBS (NBC) – The docs at Sacred Heart will be back on April 10 with four pre-strike episodes. The real question is whether NBC will let Bill Lawrence make the 3-5 additional episodes he needs to give the series a proper send off in its last season. If not, there’s a chance that ABC/Disney will let him produce them for the DVDs. We’re keeping our fingers crossed.

* SHARK (CBS) – Things are looking up for this series–CBS has ordered four more episodes this season, which may bode well for its chances for renewal.

* SMALLVILLE (CW) – Four pre-strike episodes remain and five more have been ordered for this season.

* SUPERNATURAL (CW) – Two pre-strike episodes remain and four more have been ordered for this season.

SWINGTOWN (CBS) – Only a couple of episodes of this mid-season drama have been produced and CBS is still deciding what to do with it.

TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES (FOX) – Four pre-strike episodes remain. What happens after that is still up in the air.

* TWO AND A HALF MEN (CBS) – Will return on March 17 with nine new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

UGLY BETTY (ABC) – Expected to return in April with 4-7 new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

* THE UNIT (CBS) – No new episodes are slated to be produced this season and it wasn’t included on a recent list of pickups for 2008-09, so its future chances are looking thin.

* WITHOUT A TRACE (CBS) – Will return on April 3 with six new episodes. Has also been picked up for the 2008-09 season.

WOMEN’S MURDER CLUB (ABC) – It’s looking like it may be the axe for this newcomer.

The 10 Best Musical Moments in Television of 2007

I am apparently extra-susceptible to being emotionally bludgeoned by well-placed music in my TV. Seeing me get a little teary-eyed over a musical montage, Susannah’s munchkin recently asked her mother in disbelief, “You’re not crying over this, are you?” as if to confirm only a crazy person would get misty over music. Maybe she’s right, but this tendency means that focusing on musical moments was the perfect approach to my year-end Top 10 list. Since ten is a small number, and since I kind of like being emotionally bludgeoned by my TV, I’d love to hear your nominees as well.

2007′s Top Musical Moments in Television:

10. “Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want” in “Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale” (aired December 16 on HBO)

I’ve heard some criticism of this choice, generally centered on the “obviousness” of choosing a Smiths tune associated with screen angst. I’d argue that this is missing the point (which seemed to happen a lot with people wanting Extras to be The Office). While the song is playing, we see Maggie retreating from Andy’s cruelty by locking herself in her own car and Andy awakening to his situation…but rather than going to Maggie, getting the fired extra rehired, or making a sweeping statement declaring his freedom from celebrity, he bulls his way into the Ivy and literally begs his agent to give him what he wants (fame, money, and artistic integrity, all at once) this time. It’s ugly and embarrassing and painful and all of the things that elevate Gervais and Merchant above the typical comedy.

9. “Frodo (Don’t Wear the Ring)” in The Flight of the Conchords‘ “The Actor” (aired August 26 on HBO)

It’s awfully hard to choose from the Conchords’ panoply of musical genius—you could just as easily go with “Business Time” (“Tuesday night is the night we go and visit your mother, but Wednesday night is the night that we make love”), “Humans Are Dead” (“Binary solo!”), or “Hip-Hopoptamus vs. The Rhymnoceros” (“Ain’t no party like my nana’s tea party”). But the brilliance of having poor Murray’s low-budget video shoot feature Conchord Bret McKenzie, who actually appeared in The Lord of the Rings, as a hapless Frodo while uber-fan Mel proves she can speak Elvish is simply too much to contend with. Hurray—you made it!

8. “The Chairman’s Waltz” on So You Think You Can Dance’s final 16 episode (aired June 27 on Fox)

Even reality shows that require some talent or skill—Project Runway, American Idol, or, in this case, So You Think You Can Dance—are often cheesefests that get by on a lot of glue and glitter. Wade Robson taking a lovely John Williams waltz from Memoirs of a Geisha and creating a love story between a hummingbird and a flower, however, shows that every once in a while the cheese can be blown aside like the parting of the Red Sea while something that’s actually mesmerizing rises from below.

7. “Shambala” in Lost‘s “Tricia Tanaka is Dead” and “The Man Behind the Curtain” (aired February 28 and May 9, respectively, on ABC)

I admit to being increasingly frustrated with Lost, to the point where I enjoy hearing Lindelof and Cuse explain what’s wrong with the show more than I like the show itself. (Shut it, Jack.) The use of “Shambala,” however, highlights the ways their twisted labyrinth can work beautifully: the song represents one of the few moments of victorious joy our castaways have been allowed, as Hurley finally triumphs over his “curse” by getting a decrepit VW van (with requisite Three Dog Night 8-track, of course) running. Everyone is so lucky! Everyone is so kind! It also represents one of the creepier moments of the season a few months later as the song’s reappearance during young Ben’s flashback van ride with his father clues us in to imminent fate of said father. Everyone is not so kind on the road to Shambala, Ben.

6. “Pictures of Matchstick Men” in Life‘s “A Civil War” (aired November 7 on NBC)

Solving the murder of two Persian kids in a convenience store becomes even more urgent when it becomes apparent a third kid has disappeared and may still be at risk. What seems initially to be a typical procedural about racism becomes a complicated and sad story about a mother losing her grip on her son and taking love from all the wrong places. Life isn’t a typical procedural, and using the Camper Van Beethoven cover of “Pictures of Matchstick Men” underscores that, as the fiddles start sawing right when we swivel from the son permanently slipping away from the mother straight to the realization that Reese’s father is probably a very, very bad guy. “Your face just won’t leave me alone,” indeed.

5. “Dayman/Nightman” in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia‘s “Sweet Dee’s Dating a Retarded Person” (aired October 11 on FX)

Having convinced golddigging Dee that her white rapper boyfriend is developmentally disabled, the rest of the Philadelphia crew decide they should be able to achieve musical stardom as well. Mac, Frank, and Charlie create their own band, but are unable to choose a name from among Electric Dream Machine, Pecan Sandies, and Chemical Toilet—you have to admit, they all have their strengths. Mac and Frank are alarmed when Charlie’s ode to the mysterious world of the night takes a turn to, er, darker places (Mac: “But it sounds like a song where a man breaks into your house and rapes you.”) Banned from Pecan Toilet—or something—Charlie huffs paint for several hours before a fellow refugee from Chemical Sandies—or something—finds him and they create an anthem celebrating the master of karate—and friendship!—for everyone. You…kind of have to see it, but it’s possibly the the hardest I laughed at television this year.

4. “Devil Town” in Friday Night Lights‘ “State” (aired April 11 on NBC)

A reprise back to the second episode of the series, where Austin legend Daniel Johnston’s “Devil Town” (good luck finding the Tony Lucca cover they use on the show) perfectly underscored the empty, mundane, football-related activities these shallow kids and their shallow parents put such an incredible amount of weight on. Fast-forward to the season finale, where the same song is playing during the parade celebrating the Dillon Panthers’ state championship. As the camera catches each of the characters we’ve suffered with and cheered for throughout the year, highlighting the ways the empty, mundane, football-related activities make these people a town, “turns out I was a vampire myself in the devil town” takes on quite a different meaning. If Lisa tries to tell you that when she showed me this scene on her laptop in a motel room I had to go cry in the bathroom, don’t believe her (although it may be perfectly true).

3. “Renegade” in Supernatural‘s “Nightshifter” (aired January 25 on the CW)

The Supernatural gang tends to favor rawk songs that match the sibling demon hunters’ kickass Chevy Impala (HA!), and this is no exception. The brothers track down a shapeshifter who steals the bodies of bank tellers or jewelry store workers, the better to gain access to safes and vaults and the like, only to be stuck in what appears from the outside to be a hostage situation. Making matters worse, a federal agent who has the wrong idea about the Winchesters’ exploits shows up with the intent of bringing the boys in, dead or alive. A tidy twist provides an escape, leading us to a closing scene in the Impala. Dean: “We are so screwed.” Styx: “Oh, Mama, I’m in fear for my life from the loooong arm of the laaaaaaw.” I laughed for five full minutes. Ben Edlund is not to be messed with.

2. “Abide with Me” in Doctor Who’s “Gridlock” (aired April 14 on BBC One and July 20 on Sci Fi)

Since I start muttering unkind asides about fellow drivers’ ancestry after being stuck in heavy traffic for 15 minutes, it’s hard for me to imagine a 20-year-old traffic jam, like the one in New Earth’s undercity, not descending into cannibalism, graffiti, and dogs and cats living together (humans and cats, on the other hand, is an entirely different story). Perhaps it’s the Daily Contemplation, with every car singing hymns together, that keeps the peace. This hymning explains why the city, newly freed by the Doctor and friends, is singing a gorgeous version of “Abide with Me” as Martha demands to know why the Doctor is alone. I admit the song is meaningful to me anyway, but the fact that Agyeman and Tennant absolutely knock it out of the park as the Doctor describes the home he’ll never see again will break even people who have never heard the hymn before. I defy you to watch the Doctor’s 900-year stare as he describes the Gallifreyan sky that no longer exists and then keep making fun of me for being a television weeper.

1. “Morning Has Broken” in Pushing Daisies‘ “Smell of Success” (aired November 20 on ABC)

So I’ve got a thing for the hymns. So sue me. But Aunt Vivian (the fantastic Ellen Greene) persuading her sister that it’s brave to choose to be happy, embracing the cleansing rain and praising its new fall, is perhaps the gentlest, loveliest moment on television this year. We’ve written here before about how Pushing Daisies is all about how even a world that is drenched in death is one that can provide hope and family and love, and that message is never more apparent than in the moment Lily and Vivian choose hope–and each other–and get back in the water. It encapsulates that first moment after great grief when we first feel something joyful again, when we can first express praise for elation. Leave it to a show so much about pie to point out that those moments are all the sweeter after we’ve swallowed the bitter down.

Squee! It’s…

Squee! It’s Mercedes McNab on Supernatural tonight! This is the second undead character she’s appeared as in the last 10 days, as she was a soul escaped from Hell on Reaper last week (a soul escaped from Hell who had way too much affection for “Radar Love,” in fact). It’s also the second vampire she’s played on WB/CW shows, as you may remember her as vampiric enemy/vampiric secretary Harmony on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. I’ll always be fond of her snotty foil to Christina Ricci’s Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family and Addams Family Values:

Gary: One of you will be the drowning victim, and the other one will be our lifesaver.

Amanda: I’ll be the victim!

Wednesday: All your life.

Give Mercedes McNab her own show!