Squee! It’s…

Squee! It’s…look, I just want to point out how excruciatingly fair this squee makes me. It’s Jamie Bamber on the season premiere of Dollhouse tonight! You may recall that the Baconeers had…issues with Dollhouse when it premiered last year. People I trust keep telling me it got better, and I really, really want to love Joss Whedon, so I’m willing to give it another chance. And it may be clear that I had some Lee Adama issues in the Battlestar Galactica odyssey, but I chalk that up to the fact that the writers couldn’t figure out what to do with the character. Bamber was wonderful in the Horatio Horblower movies–he even held the screen against a really yummy Ioan Gruffudd–and was perfectly lovely in fare such as Cold Case and Band of Brothers. He’s even acquitted himself well as the British version of a district attorney in the new Law & Order: Picadilly Circus spin-off. Did you see what I did there? With the acquitted and the lawyer thing, and…never mind.

Come join me on my squee-filled journey of forgiveness. Dollhouse airs on Fox tonight at 9pm Eastern and Pacific.

DOLLHOUSE “The Target”: Really? We’re Doing This Now?

It would be great if I could say that this week’s episode showed significant improvement over last week’s dismal premiere. Unfortunately, after watching “The Target” I am, if possible, even less enamored of Dollhouse.

The fact that they’ve already resorted to a tired television trope in the second episode doesn’t bode well. The Most Dangerous Game has been done and redone by dozens of TV shows over the years, from the pilot episode of Fantasy Island to Whedon’s own Buffy the Vampire Slayer and three separate incarnations of Star Trek. We’ve all seen it before, and it doesn’t get any more interesting with repetition–when it’s already been spoofed by both The Simpsons and American Dad, I’d say it’s ready for retirement. And casting Matt Keesler, late of the excellent (and tragically canceled) The Middleman, as the skeevy hunter just adds salt to the wound.

But worst of all, last night’s episode made me wonder at what point Joss and Co. stopped being feminists. When the man who once made ass-kicking young women standard television fare is now serving up an extended rape fantasy, things have gone badly wrong. And no, it doesn’t make it okay even if the victim gets one good shot off in the end.

There is one shining point of light in all this mess. The ratings for last week’s premiere were so dismal that it’s unlikely we’ll be subjected to many more episodes of this disaster.

DOLLHOUSE “Ghost”: We Are Not Amused

Joss Whedon’s television shows are not typically an easy sell. Teen vampire romps and space westerns pretty much have “limited cult appeal” stamped on them right out of the gate. Yet despite middling ratings, Whedon’s shows have always earned a shower of critical acclaim and a dedicated fan following. But his long-awaited return to the small screen, which premiered on Fox last Friday, looks to be even harder to swallow.

Dollhouse is about a super secret (and highly illegal) service that leases out people who’ve had their personalities wiped so they can be imprinted with a temporary new persona and skill-set. Hired by the ridiculously wealthy, these “Actives” don’t just perform their parts, they actually believe they are whomever or whatever their client wants them to be.

It’s a premise that’s not only implausible (why would anyone hire a fake expert when they could just hire a real expert for far less money and without breaking the law?) but troubling (the loaning out of beautiful young women who’ve essentially had their free will removed is just plain creepy–and not in a good way). Those aren’t necessarily insurmountable flaws, however. Buffy the Vampire Slayer had a thoroughly ridiculous premise and it never stopped me from the loving the show (okay, it did at first, but I got over it). And tackling thorny gender issues is pretty much Whedon’s trademark, so he’s earned a little latitude with the creepy factor.

No, Dollhouse‘s biggest failing is that it feels like it could have been written by anyone.

One of the reasons I’m willing to follow Whedon to the gates of hell and back (literally, in the case of Angel) is his brilliant wit. No matter how dark things get (and things can get pretty dark in Mutant Enemy territory), there’s always a moment of levity to drag you back from the abyss. And we’re not just talking run-of-the-mill comic relief here–Whedon’s trademark quips are funnier than you’ll find on most of the “comedies” on the air today.

Yet the premiere episode of Dollhouse? Elicited not a single laugh, nary a mild chuckle, nor even the faintest wisp of a smile.

Okay, so maybe Whedon wanted to get serious about sci fi for a change. I’m willing to buy a ticket for that train provided he still delivers the walloping emotional punch I’ve come to expect. Except that Dollhouse‘s main character doesn’t actually have any character. How am I supposed to become attached to Echo (or the other Actives, for that matter) when she’s a totally new, fake person every week? And since most of the other characters are complicit in this highly disturbing venture, there’s not really anyone to root for. It doesn’t help matters that lead Eliza Dushku is an actress who succeeds on charisma more than craft, thrust here into a role that’s all about craft. I’ve always found her enjoyable, but I’m not convinced she’s got the chops to do the heavy lifting a show like this requires.

Given Dollhouse‘s tumultuous history, it’s hard to know how closely Friday’s premiere hews to Whedon’s original vision. But what we got felt far more like something created by a team of Fox execs than than the vision of a gifted writer with a unique voice. This Dollhouse is a ready-made procedural with a sci fi twist, dressed up with sexy girls and motorcycle chases and shootouts. Something only slightly less absurd than last fall’s failed My Own Worst Enemy and marginally more interesting than the previous fall’s failed Journeyman. Maybe Fox figures what bombed on NBC will fit right in on their network–Dollhouse certainly seems made for a lineup that already features Fringe and Sarah Conner Chronicles.

That may be good enough for Fox, but it’s not good enough for me. I expect more from Joss Whedon. Far more.

Maybe it’ll get better. Pilots are rarely the best example of a show to begin with, and Dollhouse has had a bumpier-than-usual ride to the screen. I’m going to keep watching because I desperately hope it will get better. But at this point I’m not sure I actually believe it will.

Fox Dumps Troubled DOLLHOUSE on Friday Nights

The troubles continue for Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse. Fox has announced its revised mid-season schedule, and Dollhouse has been shifted from its plum spot on Monday nights (where it would have been paired with 24) to Fridays (following the low-performing Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles).

The move is ostensibly an attempt to recreate those long-ago glory days when Fox ruled Friday nights with its sci fi offerings. But let’s face it, the last show this strategy worked for–heck, the only show this strategy has ever worked for–was The X-Files. The reality these days is that Friday nights are where shows are sent to die.

And despite Whedon’s optimistic report last month, network interference continues to hamper production, which was delayed last week for more script rewrites. Sounds like he should have stuck to his vow never to work with Fox again after the troubles over Firefly.

Whedon Reveals the Bumpy Road to DOLLHOUSE

After months of assuring us that everything was fine with his upcoming series Dollhouse–despite the reported rewrites, reshoots, scrubbed pilots, and unplanned shutdowns–Joss Whedon has finally come clean about the chaos behind the scenes.

Posting on Whedonesque this week, the Almighty Joss admitted to fans that Dollhouse hasn’t exactly been “blazing an untrammeled path to surefire success, with nary a hitch or a hiccup.” In fact, it’s been a pretty rough ride. Says Whedon:

Basically, the Network and I had different ideas about what the tone of the show would be. They bought something somewhat different than what I was selling them, which is not that uncommon in this business. Their desires were not surprising: up the stakes, make the episodes more stand-alone, stop talking about relationships and cut to the chase. Oh, and add a chase. That you can cut to. Nothing I hadn’t heard before on my other shows (apparently my learning curve has no bendy part) but frustrating as hell given our circumstances – a pilot shot, scripts written, everybody marching together/gainfully employed… and then a shutdown. Glad I was for the breathing room, but it’s hardly auspicious. So back into the writer cave I went, wondering why I put up with this when I can make literally dozens of dollars making internet movies.

Trying to mitigate the inevitable tsunami of fan outrage directed at Fox, Whedon explains why all this network interference isn’t as bad as it sounds:

One: They’re not wrong. Oh, we don’t see eye-to-eye on everything, but wanting the first episodes to be exciting and accessible is not exactly Satanic. Being Satan is, but that’s in their free time and hey, there’s no judging in the Dollhouse. This kind of back and forth has happened on every show I’ve done, so if you liked those, chances are that was a part of why. And the need to focus on the essentials of what makes this universe tick – and which wire to cut to make it stop – really does bring up our game. So we as a staff have gone from blinking like unhoused moles to delving in with the same relish we had when we started. The show is really coming together now, in a way that I believe excites us and satisfies the Network. Of course, I have no idea if anybody else will like it, but I have the same faith in the staff, the crew and the remarkable cast that I always did. More, in fact. And what’s more crucial:

Two: Nothing essential has changed about the universe. The ideas and relationships that intrigued me from the start are all there (though some have shifted, more on that), and the progression of the first thirteen eps has me massively excited. The episode we’re shooting now I wrote as fast as anything I have before, not because I had to (although, funny side-note: I had to) but because I couldn’t stop the words from coming. Because I can feel the show talking to me; delighting, scaring and occasionally even offending me. It’s alive. Alive! Which is a far cry from how I felt a month ago. It’s been hilarious trying to keep up with what’s in, what’s out, who’s met whom and when – we’ve shot all of the first seven episodes out of airing order – but it’s come together in a pretty thrilling way. My huge gratitude to our cast for their precision and patience. Which also includes…

Three: Eliza. Watching her on the monitors at two o’clock this morning I was reminded forcibly how much I wished I were in bed – but also how strong, radiant and unmistakable her presence is. She’s someone who could coast on talent and never ever does. I love to watch her work. In fact, I think I got myself into this mess for that very reason, and though I have this fall occasionally sworn never to eat lunch with an actor I like again, I’m pretty pleased and crazy proud.

So what’s the Dollhouse heading to our TV screens this winter going to look like as a result of all this? Whedon explains the changes:

The original pilot was in fact thrown out. Again, at my behest. Once it became clear what paradigm the Network was shooting for, it just didn’t fit at all, even after I’d reshot more than half of it (see above re: despair). To get a sense of how completely turned around I was during this process, you should know there was a scene with Eliza and the astonishing Ashley Johnson that I wrote and shot completely differently three different times, with different characters in different places (actually I wrote it closer to eight times), and none of it will ever see air. Which is as it should be (though I’m determined to get Ms. Johnson back in the future). The scene just didn’t belong anymore. Similarly, the character of November has fallen out of the mix, because the show simply moves too fast now for me to do what I wanted with her. Season three, anyone…? Happily, Miracle Laurie is still with us in a new role, playing against (and pining for) Tahmoh’s character, Paul Ballard. Their chemistry is deeply nifty. The only other major cast shift is that the Dollhouse head of security, Laurence Dominic (played by Reed Diamond), who was written just for the now-defunct first ep, has stuck like fly-paper, and Reed is very much in the family for the present. (Most of my problems seem to involve my actors making themselves indispensable. This is the good problem kind.)

Apart from that, it’s all hush-hush: some things I’d intended to hold back are laid out much sooner, and some are rolling out more slowly. We’re still heading toward Tim’s intense two-part mind-blower – right before a thirteenth ep that may actually just be insane.

And finally, young Steve DeKnight, after writing and shooting an ep so cool it helped not only define the show but save its ass, is ending his consulting duties, the f#%&er. I will be crying on the shoulder of Jane Espenson come Monday, so congratudolences are in order. Excited for the Jane Flava.

As are we, Joss. As are we.

So, apparently the dealio is that everything kinda sucked for a while there, but not to worry, crisis averted. Everything’s just peachy now. We think. Hopefully.

DOLLHOUSE Pilot to Be Reshot

Joss Whedon logged on to Whedonesque this week to gently break the news to fans that he would be reshooting the pilot episode of his hotly anticipated Fox series Dollhouse. Getting a bit of deja vu? That’s because the pilot episode of Whedon’s Fox series Firefly was also reshot–at the network’s request–signaling the beginning of the network’s clumsy meddling with and lack of faith in a show that would eventually go on to be a cult hit with remarkable legs on the DVD sales chart (no thanks whatsoever to Fox).

The new pilot reportedly will be a prequel of sorts to the original, which will then air as the second episode, with a few minor adjustments. Whedon attempted to put a positive spin on the reshoot, which he said was for issues of tone and clarity, but he’s pretty much required to toe that party line.

So is this the beginning of the end for Dollhouse? Ordered just days before the WGA went on strike, Whedon and co. had only two months to write and prep the series, which didn’t leave a lot of time for network feedback to be worked into the process. Whedon admits that he “was in a dark, noir kind of place” when he came back from the strike, which was not necessarily the tone the suits were looking for. And it’s not like Dollhouse is an especially easy sell. Look, I’d practically follow Whedon into fire, but a show about brainwashed prostitutes is treading precariously close to the edge of my personal comfort zone, so what’s a mainstream audience going to think? It’s not altogether unreasonable that the series might legitimately require a bit of fine tuning to hit the butter zone.

The good news, however, is that Fox is making an attempt to tap into the wave of internet interest following the debut of Whedon’s internet musical “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog” (which drew 2.25 million streams in five days) by allowing the creator to produce a series of companion webisodes for Dollhouse. An entire season’s worth of webisodes in fact, one for every episode. The shorts will be released throughout the season and the on-air episodes may even include a teaser for the next webisode. Maybe Fox has learned a thing or two since Firefly after all.

Wrapping Up the Upfronts

Well, upfront week has come and gone and what do we have to show for it? An unusually short, not terribly exciting list of new shows premiering in the upcoming season. And a bunch of network-penned blurbs meant to get us tingly with anticipation of said new shows. Are you feeling tingly? Yeah, me neither.

In fairness, it is kind of hard to get worked up about a description in a press release. Which is why, of course, the networks always come to the upfronts with a big, splashy presentation, a bunch of smiling celebrities, and–most importantly–video clips promoting their new shows. Fortunately for us, the good folks over at TV Week have collected all the various clips and trailers together so we can all get started deciding which new shows look good enough to be Season Pass worthy.

The ABC upfront videos offer up a sneak peek at The Goode Family, Life on Mars, Opportunity Knocks and the eighth season of Scrubs. CBS gives us a glimpse of Eleventh Hour, The Ex List, Harper’s Island, Project Gary, The Mentalist and Worst Week. The CW videos include four clips from Surviving the Filthy Rich and three clips of Stylista (but sadly none of 90210). And finally, Fox serves up the previously mentioned scene from Dollhouse, as well as a couple of clips from Fringe (although for the full, fully creepy trailer you should hop over here), a look at The Cleveland Show and three clips each of Do Not Disturb and Sit Down, Shut Up.

So, after watching all of these clips, which shows will I be saving TiVo space for? Fox is the big winner this year with three shows I’m actively looking forward to from three talented creators with an excellent track record in television: Fringe (pictured above), Dollhouse and Sit Down, Shut Up. ABC’s The Goode Family seems a safe bet since Mike Judge can pretty much always make me laugh. CBS’s Harper’s Island doesn’t so much look good as like it might be a scary good time, but everything else on CBS’s schedule looks, frankly, really really bad. And as for the CW… well, let’s just say if the network doesn’t survive until next year’s upfronts I won’t go into mourning.

Oh, and let’s not forget NBC, who brilliantly made their non-upfront upfront presentation a month ago. Oops, too late, I’ve already forgotten all of NBC’s new shows.

First Look at DOLLHOUSE

Here it is, our first glimpse inside Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse! I’m so excited I could do the Dance of Joy! Fox has finally released the cast pic above, plus, here’s a peek at the trailer shown at the upfront yesterday:

And if that’s not enough, Seat42F has an additional clip of a scene featuring Eliza Dushku and Tahmoh Penikett.

Fox Banks on Abrams’ FRINGE for Fall

Fox obviously thinks that Fringe is going to be the next Lost, and they may not be wrong. The sci-fi thriller from Lost creator J.J. Abrams is one of only two new shows on the network’s fall schedule–the other being a half-hour comedy tentatively titled Do Not Disturb and starring Jerry O’Connell. Yeah, I don’t really care about that one, either.

So, getting back to Fringe… Fox is so excited about this show that it’s rolling out the marketing campaign today, a tactic more commonly used for feature films than television shows. New Yorkers should keep an eye out for the Fringe street teams today, who will apparently be orchestrating stunts involving Segways and… cows? O-kay. They’ve also unveiled a series of tantalizing posters for the series, complete with Lost-esque typeface and mysterious imagery including an apple, a shadowy figure, a handprint, a leaf, and a puff of smoke in the shape of a creepy human face. Also? The show’s mystery apparently starts with an ill-fated airline flight. Hmmmm.

But as much as they want us to be excited about Fringe, the truth is that they’re holding back most of the good stuff until midseason, when 24 and American Idol return. That means we’ll have to wait until January for the highly-anticipated Joss Whedon series Dollhouse, which will serve as a lead-in on Monday nights for 24. Two new animated comedies are also being held until spring: Sit Down, Shut Up from Mitchell Hurwitz (Arrested Development) and the Family Guy spin off The Cleveland Show.

As usual, Fox is set to launch its fall season earlier than the other networks, starting with a two-hour Prison Break on Monday, Aug. 25, the two-hour premiere of Fringe on Aug. 26, and a two-hour Bones on Aug. 27. Finally, upfront week has given us something to get excited about.

Fall 2008 Schedule

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 PM TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES
9:00-10:00 PM PRISON BREAK

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM HOUSE
9:00-10:00 PM FRINGE

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM BONES
9:00-9:30 PM ‘TIL DEATH
9:30-10:00 PM DO NOT DISTURB (wt)

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
9:00-10:00 PM KITCHEN NIGHTMARES

FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 PM ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER?
9:00-10:00 PM DON’T FORGET THE LYRICS!

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 PM COPS
8:30-9:00 PM COPS
9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA’S MOST WANTED: AMERICA FIGHTS BACK
11:00 PM-Midnight MADtv
Midnight-12:30 AM TALKSHOW WITH SPIKE FERESTEN

SUNDAY
7:00-8:00 PM THE OT (NFL post-game)
8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 PM KING OF THE HILL
9:00-9:30 PM FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 PM AMERICAN DAD

New Series for Fall 2008 or Midseason 2009

FRINGE
From J.J. Abrams, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, the team behind Star Trek, Mission: Impossible III and Alias, comes a new thriller that will explore the blurring line between science fiction and reality. When an international flight lands at Boston’s Logan Airport and the passengers and crew have all died grisly deaths, FBI Special Agent Olivia Dunham (newcomer Anna Torv) is called in to investigate. After her partner, Special Agent John Scott (Mark Valley, Boston Legal), is nearly killed during the investigation, a desperate Olivia searches frantically for someone to help, leading her to Dr. Walter Bishop (John Noble, Lord of the Rings), our generation’s Einstein. There’s only one catch: he’s been institutionalized for the last 20 years, and the only way to question him requires pulling his estranged son Peter (Joshua Jackson, Dawson’s Creek) in to help. When Olivia’s investigation leads her to manipulative corporate executive Nina Sharp (Blair Brown, Altered States), our unlikely trio along with fellow FBI Agents Phillip Broyles (Lance Reddick, The Wire), Charlie Francis (Kirk Acevedo, Oz) and Astrid Farnsworth (Jasika Nicole, Law & Order: Criminal Intent) will discover that what happened on Flight 627 is only a small piece of a larger, more shocking truth.

DO NOT DISTURB (working title)
This workplace comedy centers around the upstairs/downstairs dynamic at a hip New York City hotel. The hotel’s top-notch reputation is due in large part to Neal (Jerry O’Connell, Crossing Jordan) the egotistical, hyper-stylish, detail-oriented general manager, although The Inn’s charismatic owner R.J. (guest star Robert Wagner) takes all the credit. Rhonda (Niecy Nash, Reno 911!) is the head of Human Resources who does her best to keep the back of the house in line and the front of the house out of trouble. At the front desk handling check-in while wearing 6-inch Manolos is aging model Nicole (Molly Stanton, Twins). Fresh from Nebraska is Jason (Brando Eaton, Zoey 101), the naive bellman who would prefer to work behind the scenes, but was hired to show off his chiseled face and perfect pecs at the front of the hotel. The downstairs staff includes Molly (Jolene Purdy, Donnie Darko), a reservations clerk who dreams of pop-singer stardom as much as she craves to be part of the action upstairs; and Larry (Jesse Tyler Ferguson, The Class), the head of housekeeping who spends more time on the phone cleaning up his messes at home than he does cleaning up after the guests upstairs.

DOLLHOUSE
Joss Whedon, creator of groundbreaking cult favorites Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly, returns to television and reunites with fellow Buffy alumna Eliza Dushku for a thrilling new drama. Echo (Dushku) is an “Active,” a member of a highly illegal and underground group who have had their personalities wiped clean so they can be imprinted with any number of new personas. Confined to a secret facility known as the “Dollhouse,” Echo and the other Actives including Sierra (Dichen Lachman, Neighbours) and Victor (Enver Gjokaj, The Unit) carry out engagements assigned by Adelle (Olivia Williams, X-Men: The Last Stand, Rushmore), one of the Dollhouse leaders. The engagements cater to the wealthy, powerful and connected, and require the Actives to immerse themselves in all manner of scenarios romantic, criminal, uplifting, dangerous, comical and the occasional “pro bono” good deed. After each scenario, Echo, always under the watchful eye of her handler Boyd (Harry Lennix, Commander in Chief, 24), returns to the mysterious Dollhouse where her thoughts, feelings and experiences are erased by Topher (Fran Kranz, Welcome to the Captain), the Dollhouse’s genius programmer. Echo enters the next scenario with no memory of before. Or does she? As the series progresses, FBI Agent Paul Smith (Tahmoh Penikett, Battlestar Galactica) pieces together clues that lead him closer to the Dollhouse, while Echo stops forgetting, her memories begin to return and she slowly pieces together her mysterious past. Dollhouse revolves around Echo’s blossoming self-awareness and her desire to discover her true identity. But with each new engagement, comes a new memory and increased danger inside and outside the Dollhouse.

SECRET MILLIONAIRE
This unscripted series takes America’s wealthiest individuals away from their lavish lifestyles, sprawling mansions and private planes and places them undercover into some of the most impoverished neighborhoods in America. Shot under the guise of a documentary, the series reveals the dramatic personal return that millionaires will get when they leave their fortunes to invest in those less fortunate. Challenged with living on minimum wage, the millionaires will immerse themselves in situations beyond their comprehension. They will work side-by-side with community members and befriend those in need to decide who should ultimately receive their gifts of a lifetime. On the final day, the Secret Millionaires meet with the chosen recipients and reveal their true identity and intention: to give them at least $100,000.

THE CLEVELAND SHOW (working title)
Many years ago, Cleveland Brown (voiced by Mike Henry) was a high school student madly in love with a beautiful girl named Donna. Much to his dismay, his love went unrequited, and Donna wound up marrying another man. Cleveland once told Donna he would always love her, and if this man ever done her wrong, he’d be there when she called. Well, this man done her wrong. Donna’s husband skipped town with another woman, leaving Donna with a daughter and a baby. Now she’s come to Cleveland and offered him another chance at love. Unattached after the Loretta-Quagmire debacle and true to his word, Cleveland joyously accepts and he and Cleveland Jr. move to Stoolbend, VA, to join their new family. Once in Stoolbend, Cleveland has a few surprises in store for him, including a flirtatious new stepdaughter, a 5-year-old stepson who loves the ladies, as well as a collection of neighbors that includes a loudmouth redneck couple, a British family seemingly stuck in the Victorian era and a family of bears living at the end of the block.

SIT DOWN, SHUT UP (working title)
From Emmy Award-winning writer Mitchell Hurwitz (Arrested Development) and Eric and Kim Tannenbaum (Two and a Half Men) comes an animated comedy that focuses on the lives of eight staff members at a high school in a small northeastern fishing town (Go Baiters!) who never lose sight of the fact that the children must ALWAYS come second. We watch them grapple with their own egos, needs and personal agendas, their petty insecurities and prejudices, unrequited loves, and ruthless battles for power and that’s just at the staff meeting. Sue Sezno (Kenan Thompson, Saturday Night Live), a woman who frequently says “no,” is the acting principal of the school (the actual principal is recovering from a series of unfortunate accidents that might be seen as escape attempts). Then there’s Vice Principal Stuart Prozackian (Will Forte, Saturday Night Live) who has a terrifically positive and upbeat attitude… possibly from the performance-enhancing medication he’s been secretly put on by the other teachers. There is one educator who feels the focus should be on academics, but despite the old adage, at this school, those who can teach, teach gym and that’s where Larry Slimp (Jason Bateman, Juno, Arrested Development) has been exiled to. Immensely frustrated, Larry nurses a crush on science teacher Miracle GroheI (Maria Bamford, Stuart Little 2), a woman whose superficial grasp on science is balanced by her superficial grasp on spirituality. Rounding out the staff is the aging German teacher Willard Deutschebog (Henry Winkler, Arrested Development, Happy Days), a deeply defeated man whose yearbook quotation reads “If I believed in reincarnation, I’d kill myself tonight.” Uptight Helen Klench (Cheri Oteri, Saturday Night Live) is a librarian whose life’s work in research and archiving can now be surpassed by the average Google search from the average cell phone. Proud Andrew Sapien (Nick Kroll, Best Week Ever, Cavemen) is the flamboyant drama teacher. Ennis Hofftard (Will Arnett, Arrested Development) is a fellow teacher and a self-obsessed body builder who yearns to be thought of as a “cool dude” by his students. And finally there’s Happly (Tom Kenny, SpongeBob SquarePants), the plotting secretive custodian who’s assumed to be Hispanic despite the fact that his real name is Muhannad Sabeeh Fa’ach Nuaba. With a distinctive new look a combination of animation against a live-action backdrop Sit Down, Shut Up lampoons modern society while exposing the dreams, flaws and struggling humanity of our first and most formative authority figures: teachers.

Returning Fall 2008 or Midseason 2009

· 24
· AMERICAN DAD
· AMERICAN IDOL
· AMERICA’S MOST WANTED: AMERICA STRIKES BACK
· ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER?
· BONES
· COPS
· DON’T FORGET THE LYRICS!
· FAMILY GUY
· HELL’S KITCHEN
· HOUSE
· KING OF THE HILL
· KITCHEN NIGHTMARES
· THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
· PRISON BREAK
· THE SIMPSONS
· TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES
· ‘TIL DEATH

Canceled Series

· BACK TO YOU
· CANTERBURY’S LAW
· K-VILLE
· NASHVILLE
· NEW AMSTERDAM
· THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND
· THE RETURN OF JEZEBEL JAMES
· UNHITCHED

Pickups and Cancellations Abound in Advance of Upfronts

It’s upfront week again, that wonderful time of year when networks present their fall schedules to advertisers and reporters in the hopes of generating lots of hype and, in turn, beaucoup de advertising bucks (well, except for NBC, which already did theirs weeks ago). More importantly, it’s the time when we finally learn the fate of all those bubble shows, and what exciting new TV we can look forward to in the coming fall/winter season. At least it’d better be exciting, since the networks have managed to hemorrhage six million viewers since last year’s May sweeps.

The actual presentations don’t start until tomorrow, but the networks have been getting ready for upfront week by doing some housecleaning–ordering pilots to series, renewing and/or canceling old shows, and casting for new ones. Here’s a roundup of the weekend’s scuttlebutt.

Over at the CW, the highly anticipated (by some, anyway) 90210 spinoff has been picked up, and old school cast member Jennie Garth has signed on to reprise her role as Kelly Taylor, now a guidance counselor at good old West Beverly Hills High School. Gabe Sachs and Jeff Judah, who rewrote the pilot script after Rob Thomas exited the project, will stick around as showrunners. In addition, the network is reportedly close to picking up a new comedy based on Zoey Dean’s book How to Teach Filthy Rich Girls, which should mesh nicely with Gossip Girl.

As for existing shows, I’m sad to say that the critically acclaimed but little-watched Aliens in America is officially cancelled. We told you guys to watch it, but did you listen? No, you did not. But don’t worry, I’m sure there’ll be plenty more Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious in your future to make up for it. Hey, don’t complain to me, ya’ll brought this on yourselves.

In other CW news, Girlfriends spinoff The Game will be back with 22 more episodes. There’s no official word yet on Reaper, but TV Guide‘s Michael Ausiello is saying there’s a good chance it’ll be back. The CW will unveil its full lineup on Tuesday evening.

ABC’s negotiations with David E. Kelley over the Life on Mars remake seem to be close to a resolution, and unfortunately for all of us that resolution doesn’t involve the complete abandonment of the project. Kelley, who owns the rights to the American version of the acclaimed BBC series, is expected to exit the project in exchange for an agreement to bring Boston Legal back in the fall. October Road exec producers Josh Appelbaum, Andre Nemec and Scott Rosenberg are reportedly in line to take over as showrunners for the new Life on Mars.

ABC has given a 13-episode order to animated comedy The Goode Family, from Mike Judge, John Altschuler and Dave Krinsky. Mum’s still the word on Scrubs, but it’s expected to have a place on the network’s fall schedule, which will be officially announced Tuesday afternoon.

Fox was especially busy this weekend, dishing out series orders for J.J. Abrams’ new sci-fi drama Fringe, the Jason Bateman-directed comedy The Inn (from Arrested Development scribe Abraham Higginbotham), and (speaking of Arrested Development) Mitchell Hurwitz’s animated comedy Class Dismissed (based on the Australian series Sit Down, Shut Up). Fringe is rumored for a fall premiere while Joss Whedon’s highly anticipated Dollhouse probably won’t be ready until midseason. The network also announced some unsurprising cancellations, including Back to You, New Amsterdam and Canterbury’s Law. Fox’s upfront presentation will take place Thursday afternoon.

CBS, on the other hand, has been playing its cards close to the vest this weekend. But rumor has it the network is looking to create a new comedy block on Tuesdays or Wednesdays in the fall. Some series pickup announcements are expected to come later today, including the Jerry Bruckheimer-produced Eleventh Hour and The Mentalist, from writer Bruno Heller. Other likely contenders are the Diane Ruggiero-penned Mythological Ex and murder mystery Harper’s Island. CBS will announce its full schedule on Wednesday afternoon.