SIT DOWN, SHUT UP: That Title Is Just Begging For It

Remember a couple of years ago when Aaron Sorkin, multiple Emmy winner, created Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and staffed it with Emmy winner Bradley Whitford and Emmy nominee Matthew Perry? And everyone got all excited about it, and then it wasn’t nearly as good as previous Sorkin efforts like Sports Night and The West Wing? And people were so offended by this they handed out pitchforks and torches (or, as Chi McBride would suggest, plastic forks and glowsticks) and called for a UN Commission on Studio 60 atrocities and demanded their money back for TV that they got for free? When, in retrospect, the show swung between a little annoying and sometimes okay (with the occasional terrific Christmas episode) and wasn’t actually an affront to humanity, and in the end it was probably just something a little lesser that Sorkin needed to get out of his system before going on to better projects?

Fast forward to 2012, when we’ll think back to multiple Emmy winner Mitchell Hurwitz (creator of the brilliant Arrested Development) adapting a popular Australian comedy into a new animated show about a hapless high school called Sit Down, Shut Up, partnering with multiple Emmy winner Josh Weinstein, who wrote episodes of The Simpsons like “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” and “Lisa versus Malibu Stacey”. We’ll remember them staffing it with genius Emmy nominees with AD connections like Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Henry Winkler. We’ll recall their adding the Emmy-nominated wonder that is Kristin Chenoweth. And we’ll remember coming to the conclusion that maybe Hurwitz and company just needed to get this out of their systems before they could move on to better projects. In the future, when this happens, we won’t look back on the show and say, “Eh, it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t as bad as we thought it was at the time.” No, we’ll look back and remember that Sit Down, Shut Up was so bad it made us wish Fox had kept Do Not Disturb on the air instead. When we saw–and were appalled by–the pilot, we wanted to give it another week before passing judgment, just out of loyalty to the many talented people involved. But it’s…it’s really bad, full of grotesque and dirty jokes that just aren’t funny and are set to flat, unattractive animation. We love so many of the people involved with Sit Down, Shut Up so much that we’re going to resist the urge to tell them to sit down and shut up, but…we’ll catch them in their next outings, thanks.

DO NOT DISTURB: Yeah, That’s Not Gonna Be A Problem

As the new fall television schedule came into focus, there was a good deal of hand-wringing over whether the traditional sitcom is dying or just plain dead. Of the 20 new shows debuting on network TV this fall, only four are traditional half-hour comedies. Make that three–one of the characteristics of the traditional half-hour comedy is being funny, and Do Not Disturb just isn’t funny. The Baconeers have enjoyed both Carpoolers and Reno 911!, so we’d like to see Jerry O’Connell and Niecy Nash in something good. On the other hand, our abiding love for Jason Bateman means we’d rather see him in front of the camera than behind it, so the deathwatch hanging over this show might have an upside after all. Maybe all three of them can find a better vehicle, because constant references to sex are not by definition funny–you have to actually turn them into jokes. We probably won’t be knocking on this door again.

Guide to September 2008 Series Premieres

September is nearly upon us and that can mean only one thing–the busiest month of the year for new television programming. Well, it’s not quite as busy as usual thanks to the writers strike, but we’ve still got a good number of new shows debuting in the coming weeks. So many, in fact, that’s it’s hard to keep them all straight. So to help you navigate the maze we’ve prepared a guide to all the new shows premiering this month.

RAISING THE BAR (TNT)
Premieres: Monday, Sept. 1 at 10 p.m.
Time slot: Mondays at 10 p.m.
This series from Steven Bochco follows the lives and cases of young lawyers who have been friends since law school but now work on opposing sides. Mark-Paul Gosselaar (NYPD Blue), Gloria Reuben (ER), and Jane Kaczmarek (Malcolm in the Middle) star, along with Teddy Sears (Ugly Betty), Melissa Sagemiller (Sleeper Cell), Currie Graham (Boston Legal), J. August Richards (Angel) and Jonathan Scarfe (Into the West). Created by Bochco and lawyer/writer David Feige (author of the book Indefensible).

90210 (The CW)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 2 at 8 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 8 p.m.
Freaks and Geeks‘ Gabe Sachs and Jeff Judah are exec producing this contemporary spin-off of the ’90s-era teen drama. The new incarnation centers on Annie Mills (Shenae Grimes, Degrassi: The Next Generation) and her adopted brother Dixon (Tristan Wilds, The Wire), who’ve moved from Kansas to attend West Beverly Hills High. Co-starring Lori Loughlin (Summerland), Jessica Walter (Arrested Development), AnnaLynne McCord (Nip/Tuck), Dustin Milligan (Runaway), Michael Steger (The Winner), Jessica Stroup (Reaper), and Ryan Eggold (Dirt). 90210: Original Flavor alums Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty guest star.

SONS OF ANARCHY (FX)
Premieres: Wednesday, Sept. 3 at 10 p.m.
Time slot: Wednesdays at 10 p.m.
This darkly comedic drama from executive producer Kurt Sutter (The Shield) focuses on an outlaw motorcycle club intent on protecting their sheltered town from advancing drug dealers and local corporate developers, and equally determined to preserve their thriving illegal arms business. Starring Charlie Hunnam (Children of Men), Katey Sagal (8 Simple Rules), Ron Perlman (Hellboy), Drea de Matteo (The Sopranos) and Maggie Siff (Mad Men).

HOLE IN THE WALL (Fox)
Premieres: Sunday, Sept. 7 at 8 p.m.
Time slot: Thursdays at 8 p.m.
This game show is based on the popular Japanese show where two teams face various barrier walls speeding toward them with weird and wacky cut-out shapes. Team members must contort their bodies to fit through these cut-outs or they will be swept away into the pool below. Described as one of the trickiest, fastest, funniest and wettest half-hours on the planet, versions of the show have already been produced in Argentina, Australia, Brazil, China, Colombia, Denmark, Germany, Hong Kong, India, Indonesia, Israel, Malaysia, Mexico, Russia and Sweden.

TRUE BLOOD (HBO)
Premieres: Sunday, Sept. 7 at 9 p.m.
Time slot: Sundays at 9 p.m.
The latest offering from Alan Ball (Six Feet Under) is a new twist on the vampire genre based on Charlaine Harris’ Southern Vampire Mysteries books. The series centers on a psychic small-town waitress (Anna Paquin, X-Men) and the mysterious gentleman vampire (Stephen Moyer, NY-LON) who catches her fancy. This comedic drama is set in an alternate-universe Louisiana in which vampires are real and have “come out of the coffin” only recently with the advent of a synthetic blood beverage–”Tru Blood”–that removes their need to feed on live humans. Or does it? Ryan Kwanten (Summerland), Nelsan Ellis (The Inside), Rutina Wesley, and Sam Trammell co-star.

FRINGE (Fox)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 9 at 8 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 8 p.m.
When the passengers on an international flight turn up dead under unusual and grisly circumstances, an up-and-coming FBI agent (newcomer Anna Torv) teams up with an eccentric scientist (John Noble, The Lord of the Rings) and his estranged genius son (Joshua Jackson, Dawson’s Creek) to unravel the mystery. Mark Valley (Boston Legal), Blair Brown (Altered States), Lance Reddick (The Wire), Kirk Acevedo (Oz), and Jasika Nicole (Law & Order: Criminal Intent) costar in this thriller from executive producers J.J. Abrams, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, (Mission: Impossible III, Alias).

PRIVILEGED (The CW)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 9 at 9 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 9:00 p.m.
Based on Zoey Dean’s young adult book, How To Teach Filthy Rich Girls, this show centers on a Yale-educated young woman (JoAnna Garcia, Reba) hired to be the live-in tutor/life coach to two rich heiresses (Ashley Newbrough, The Best Years, and Lucy Kate Hale, Bionic Woman) in Palm Beach. Anne Archer (Fatal Attraction), Allan Louis (Stomp the Yard), Kristina Apgar (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles), Michael Cassidy (Smallville), and Brian Hallisay costar. From executive producers Rina Mimoun (Gilmore Girls, Everwood), Bob Levy (Gossip Girl) and Leslie Morgenstein (Gossip Girl, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants).

SOMEBODIES (BET)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 9 at 10 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 10 p.m.
BET’s first original sitcom, based on the 2006 Sundance film by series star Hadjii, tells the story of Scottie, an everyday, party-hopping, church-going, African-American undergraduate student looking for a good time with his friends and a little luck with the ladies. Kaira Akita, Quante Strickland, Corey Redding, Anthony K. Hyatt, Tyler Craig, Eric L. Register, Pat Brown, and Carlos Davis round out the ensemble cast.

THE RACHEL ZOE PROJECT (Bravo)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 9 at 11 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 10 p.m.
Celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe, along with her husband Rodger and fashion team, Taylor and Brad, are featured in this docu-drama as they endeavor to take Zoe’s business to the next level. In the series, the perfectly styled, go-to force among “it” starlets, fashion houses, beauty firms and magazine editors will give viewers a fly on the wall look at how she juggles constant deadlines, fashion shows and celebrity clients.

DO NOT DISTURB (Fox)
Premieres: Wednesday, Sept 10 at 9:30 p.m.
Time slot: Wednesdays at 9:30 p.m.
This workplace comedy from Abraham Higginbotham (Back to You) centers on the upstairs/downstairs dynamic at a hip New York City hotel. The series stars Jerry O’Connell (Carpoolers) as the hotel’s image-conscious general manager and Niecy Nash (Reno 911!) as the head of human resources who looks after the staff and tries to keep everyone out of trouble. Molly Stanton (Twins), Brando Eaton (Zoey 101), Jolene Purdy (Donnie Darko), and Jesse Tyler Ferguson (The Class) also star.

WORST WEEK (CBS)
Premieres: Monday, Sept. 22 at 9:30 p.m.
Time slot: Mondays at 9:30 p.m.
A half-hour comedy about an unwed couple with a baby on the way (Kyle Bornheimer, Jericho, and Erinn Hayes, Kitchen Confidential), who must break the news to her conservative parents (Kurtwood Smith, That ’70s Show, and Nancy Lenehan, My Name is Earl). From exec producers Matt Tarses (Scrubs) and Jimmy Mulville (Whose Line Is It Anyway?), based on the BBC comedy The Worst Week of My Life.

OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS (ABC)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 23 at 8 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 8 p.m.
A mobile game show that travels to different neighborhoods and selects a family from each to play for money and prizes. Host J.D. Roth poses trivia questions to family members based directly on their lives, each other and articles found in and around their home. Produced by Ashton Kutcher, Jason Goldberg, Karey Burke (Beauty and the Geek), J.D. Roth and Todd A. Nelson.

THE MENTALIST (CBS)
Premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 23 at 9 p.m.
Time slot: Tuesdays at 9 p.m.
Simon Baker (The Devil Wears Prada) stars as Patrick Jane, an independent consultant for the California Bureau of Investigation and former charlatan TV medium, who uses his razor-sharp skills of observation to solve crimes. Co-starring Robin Tunney (Prison Break), Tim Kang (Rambo), Owain Yeoman (The Nine), and Amanda Righetti, (The O.C.). Bruno Heller (creator of Rome) is creator/executive producer, and David Nutter (Band of Brothers) is the executive producer.

KNIGHT RIDER (NBC)
Premieres: Wednesday, Sept. 24 at 8 p.m.
Time slot: Wednesdays at 8 p.m.
An update of the ’80s television series, following on the heels of last year’s TV movie. The new, customized KITT (Knight Industries Three Thousand) is now a Ford Mustang powered by nanotechnology, with Michael Knight’s son (Justin Bruening, Cold Case) behind the wheel. Deanna Russo (NCIS), Sydney Tamiia Poitier (Veronica Mars), and Bruce Davison (Kingdom Hospital, X-Men) co-star. David Bartis (Heist, The O.C.), Doug Liman (Mr. and Mrs. Smith, The Bourne Identity) and Gary Scott Thompson (Las Vegas, The Fast and The Furious) are executive producers.

GARY UNMARRIED (CBS)
Premieres: Wednesday, Sept. 24 at 8:30 p.m.
Time slot: Wednesdays at 8:30 p.m.
Jay Mohr (Ghost Whisperer) and Paula Marshall (Nip/Tuck) star in this comedy about Gary Barnes, a recently single painting contractor, and his controlling ex-wife, Allison, who face post-divorce mayhem after 15 years of marriage as they each juggle parenthood and embark on new relationships. Jaime King (Kitchen Confidential), Ed Begley Jr. (Recount), Al Madrigal (Welcome to the Captain), Kathryn Newton, and Ryan Malgarini (How to Eat Fried Worms) co-star. From exec producers Ed Yeager (Still Standing) and Ric Swartzlander (8 Simple Rules).

LITTLE BRITAIN (HBO)
Premieres: Sunday, Sept. 28 at 10:30 p.m.
Time slot: Sundays at 10:30
Matt Lucas and David Walliams, the stars of the smash-hit BBC comedy Little Britain, bring their surreal, edgy sketch comedy to the U.S., featuring an outrageous look at the quirkiest inhabitants of the country from coast to coast.

THE LIFE & TIMES OF TIM (HBO)
Premieres: Sunday, Sept. 28 at 11 p.m.
Time slot: Sundays a 11 p.m.
An animated show about a guy who just can’t seem to catch a break. Tim (Steve Dildarian, co-creator of the Budweiser “Lizards” TV campaign) is 25 years old and lives in New York City with his girlfriend Amy (MJ Otto), who’s patiently putting up with his antics while he gets his life in order. Rounding out the voice cast are Bob Morrow, Cheri Oteri (Saturday Night Live), Kurtwood Smith (That 70s Show), Matt Johnson (Passions), and Nick Kroll (Cavemen, Best Week Ever). Created by Dildarian and executive-produced by Tom Werner (That 70s Show, 3rd Rock from the Sun), Jimmy Miller (Talladega Nights, Borat) and Mike Clements.