The Office‘s Michael Scott says bacon is delicious, good for you, and the perfect way to start your day. We think television is, too, no matter what those scienticians try to tell you. TV Bacon is part of a complete nutritious breakfast that includes large servings of TV news, reviews, hero worship, snark, adulation, and fantasizing about running our own network.
Contact us at tvbacon(at)gmail(dot)com.
SUSANNAH
Special Skills: Invective, smart assery, making up words, righteous indignation, damning with faint praise
Turn-ons: Sarcasm, shaggy hair, Converse All-Stars, light sabers, Blue Bell ice cream
Turn-offs: Slow-walkers, gaucho pants, formal shorts, people who say “EVOO”
Heroes: Gob Bluth, Alton Brown, Peter Jackson, Mindy Kaling, Ann Richards, Jon Stewart, Tim Minear, Emma Thompson, Joss Whedon
Sworn Enemies: Nickelback, cable news, Gwyneth Paltrow, Rachel Ray, Ciaran Hinds
Favorite Quote: “Remember to be yourself. Unless you suck.” (Joss Whedon)
MIKAELA
Special Skills: Structural equation modeling; extracting strangers’ life stories on public transportation; forgetting our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream; weeping, wailing, and gnashing teeth
Turn-ons: Office supply stores, colored gemstones, musical punnery, glasses
Turn-offs: NPR diction, mayonnaise, wealthy teens, Wolverines (not the Hugh Jackman kind, though)
Heroes: Brian K. Vaughan, Bryan Fuller, Rosalind Franklin, Michael Chabon, Simon Pegg, Muhammad Yunus, Thomas Lauderdale, Kate Winslet, Ben Edlund
Sworn Enemies: Evanescence, Paul Haggis, Renee Zellweger, Black-Haired Guy Who Isn’t Brown-Haired Guy Who Isn’t Steve Doocy, Carrie Underwood, Kobe Bryant
Favorite Quote: “Oh! let us never, never doubt/What nobody is sure about!” (Hilaire Belloc)
